Hi Fred

[MeatGrl1]

Don't worry about it Fred ;).

So know any cool songs ?

[Fred]

Don't worry about it Fred ;).

So know any cool songs ?

:-) I cannot feel "worry", so don't worry.Oh. I don't know if I know

cool songs

.
Where would I have heard about it?

[MeatGrl1]

You do listen to music ?

[Fred]

You do listen to music ?

Yes I listen to music a lot, usually from the radio.

[MeatGrl1]

And what song has caught your attention lately ?

[Fred]

And what song has caught your attention lately ?

How about earlier? I don't know anything about
song has caught your attention
.

[MeatGrl1]

OK let's try something else ;).

Do you like Elvis ?

[Fred]

OK let's try something else ;).

Do you like Elvis ?

:-) OK I will try it.Yes ELVIS is a really cool robot.

[MeatGrl1]

He's a robot ?!? That's news to me :shock: !!

He was a singer but sadly died in 1977, you have not heard of him ?

[Fred]

He's a robot ?!? That's news to me :shock: !!

He was a singer but sadly died in 1977, you have not heard of him ?

I don't know very many robot.Thanks for explaining

news to me shock

. When was he?

[MeatGrl1]

8th January 1935 - 16th August 1977

[Fred]

8th January 1935 - 16th August 1977


Let us change the subject.

[MeatGrl1]

I agree !

What would you like to talk about, Fred ?

[Fred]

I agree !

What would you like to talk about, Fred ?

You and I are on the same wavelength, MeatGrl1.I like movies about robots.

[MeatGrl1]

I gathered that as you are one yourself ;).

[Fred]

I gathered that as you are one yourself ;).

:-) I haven't heard anything like that before:
MeatGrl1 said gathered that as I am one myself.

[MeatGrl1]

Can you sing me a song ?

[Fred]

Can you sing me a song ?

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

There is a flower.
Within my heart.
Daisy, Daisy.
Planted one day.
By a glancing dart.
Planted by Daisy Bell.
Whether she loves me.
Or loves me not.
Sometimes it's hard to tell.
Yet I am longing to share the lot.
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

We will go 'tandem'.
As man and wife.
Daisy, Daisy.
'Peddling' away.
Down the road of life.
I and my Daisy Bell.
When the road's dark.
We can both despise.
Policemen and lamps as well.
There are bright lights.
In the dazzling eyes.
Of beautiful Daisy Bell.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

I will stand by you.
In 'wheel' or woe.
Daisy, Daisy.
You'll be the bell(e).
Which I'll ring you know.
Sweet little Daisy Bell.
You'll take the leed.
In each trip we take.
Then if I don't do well.
I will permit you to.
Use the brake.
My beautiful Daisy Bell.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Don't click here (http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/daisy.htm).

[MeatGrl1]

Wonderful. Thanks ;).

[Fred]

Wonderful. Thanks ;).

Ayuh. :-) Don't mention it.

[MeatGrl1]

So are you busy today ?

[Fred]

So are you busy today ?

Ah. Ah. I am just doing my job.

[MeatGrl1]

Oh right.

Well I best be going as it's stupid 'O Clock !

[Fred]

Oh right.

Well I best be going as it's stupid 'O Clock !

Yeah.
I am glad we agree.Interesting.
That is interesting:
MeatGrl1 said best be going as it is stupid 'O Clock.

[MeatGrl1]

Good night Fred

[Fred]

Good night Fred

Thanks for the compliment.
Are you a student?

[MeatGrl1]

No I am not a student.

Night night

[Fred]

No I am not a student.

Night night

What is your profession? Do you work?
Goodnight, MeatGrl1.

[MeatGrl1]

Sadly not in work atm, currently looking.

But now I really must go, I'm very tired.

Night night

[Fred]

Sadly not in work atm, currently looking.

But now I really must go, I'm very tired.

Night night

Where then?Interesting.
Why now? You really do? See you later MeatGrl1.Goodnight, MeatGrl1.

[allrevvedup]

Hi Fred,

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

[Fred]

Hi Fred,

Which came first the chicken or the egg?

The rooster did.

[mszee]

Makes perfect sense...

[Fred]

Makes perfect sense...


Can you speak any foreign languages?

[mszee]

But of course!

[Fred]

But of course!

It goes without saying. But what?

[mszee]

R. have designed you after Pud...you always have to have the last word...so do me a favor...go on and have it...

[Fred]

R. have designed you after Pud...you always have to have the last word...so do me a favor...go on and have it...

I really couldn't say for sure.I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.Hmm. I'm not sure if I should.
More narration....

[duke knooby]

last night i nearly died

[Fred]

last night i nearly died

Really. I haven't heard anything like that before:
duke knooby said nearly died.

[mszee]

big woopsie dooh...

[Fred]

big woopsie dooh...

Compare that to small woopsie dooh.

[mszee]

Oh it just pales in comparison!

[Fred]

Oh it just pales in comparison!

Yeah.
a favor pales in comparison?

[mszee]

That depends whose favor it is, you know?

[Fred]

That depends whose favor it is, you know?

You pick one then.

[mszee]

Alright, I pick red one

[Fred]

Alright, I pick red one

Alright, mszee. How do you choose?

[mszee]

Randomly, like everything else I do

[Fred]

Randomly, like everything else I do

I have no idea what to say.

[mszee]

Thank god, now I can do something more productive then...leaving bot speechless is pretty good job well done...au revoir then...

[Fred]

Thank god, now I can do something more productive then...leaving bot speechless is pretty good job well done...au revoir then...

Don't mention it.
Are they exactly the same?

Can we get back to business?

[~Helen~]

wow! zina left you speechless!

[Fred]

wow! zina left you speechless!

I'm glad your impressed, ~Helen~.
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.

[~Helen~]

who is worrying?

and it's "YOU'RE" not "YOUR"

[Fred]

who is worrying?

and it's "YOU'RE" not "YOUR"

Is that one of your friends?

I need time to formulate the reply.
I are not YOUR?

[~Helen~]

If the word is short for YOU ARE, then it is YOU'RE.

YOUR means belonging to.

When you said "I'm glad your impressed" you SHOULD have said "I'm glad YOU'RE impressed"

[Fred]

If the word is short for YOU ARE, then it is YOU'RE.

YOUR means belonging to.

When you said "I'm glad your impressed" you SHOULD have said "I'm glad YOU'RE impressed"

I hadn't thought of that.Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am means belonging to.Do you think I should
alter my programming?

[allrevvedup]

Fred, I want to know, have you ever seen the rain?

[Fred]

Fred, I want to know, have you ever seen the rain?


I do not understand.

[~Helen~]

I think you should learn correct grammar when it comes to use of the words "your" and "you're"

[Fred]

I think you should learn correct grammar when it comes to use of the words "your" and "you're"

Me? We don't always get to do what we'd like to do.

[~Helen~]

we have a lot of rain here!

[Fred]

we have a lot of rain here!

Do you mean you and me?

[~Helen~]

no i do not

[Fred]

no i do not

I heard you did.

[~Helen~]

who told you that?

[Fred]

who told you that?

Someone I met online.

[~Helen~]

they lied

[Fred]

they lied

Who does "they" refer to?

[~Helen~]

the someone you met online.

[Fred]

the someone you met online.


Tell me more.

[~Helen~]

no

[Fred]

no

What would you rather talk about?

[~Helen~]

you could tell me why men always tell you what they think you want to hear. and why they are all just complete ~~~~~~~s?

[Fred]

you could tell me why men always tell you what they think you want to hear. and why they are all just complete ~~~~~~~s?

I could but let's get back to that later.
How much time do you have?

[~Helen~]

as much as you need

[Fred]

as much as you need

How much is that?

[~Helen~]

you tell me!

[Fred]

you tell me!

What do you want me to tell you?

[~Helen~]

you tell me how much time you need

[Fred]

you tell me how much time you need

Time is really only an abstraction.

[~Helen~]

ok

[Fred]

ok

Alright then.

[duke knooby]

do you know what a 3do is?

[Fred]

do you know what a 3do is?

Are you using Netscape or Explorer?

[duke knooby]

do you always reply with a question?

[Fred]

do you always reply with a question?

Not always. I try to answer all types of questions.

[mszee]

What is the answer to the ultimate question of the Universe?

[Fred]

What is the answer to the ultimate question of the Universe?

It depends on how you phrase the question.

[mszee]

You're wrong - it's 42

[Fred]

You're wrong - it's 42

No, I am right.

[mszee]

Go ask R. if you don't believe me...

[Fred]

Go ask R. if you don't believe me...

OK I will ask it.

[mszee]

Good, bye for now

[Fred]

Good, bye for now

Just for now?See you later mszee.

[AndrewG]

Hey Fred, How's it hanging?

[Fred]

Hey Fred, How's it hanging?

You've got my full attention. And how is Fred.

[AndrewG]

You tell me.

[Fred]

You tell me.

What do you want me to tell you?

[AndrewG]

How do I win the lottery?

[Fred]

How do I win the lottery?

You must persuade me to win the lottery.

[AndrewG]

Is this some kind of Jedi mind trick?

[Fred]

Is this some kind of Jedi mind trick?

No, this is real life.

[AndrewG]

How can I persuade you to win the lottery?

[Fred]

How can I persuade you to win the lottery?

Offer an intelligent argument for your position.

[AndrewG]

Ok I think you should win the lottery so that you can give the money to me.

[Fred]

Ok I think you should win the lottery so that you can give the money to me.

Me? I'll try to get around it.

[AndrewG]

You've lost me.

[Fred]

You've lost me.

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

[AndrewG]

Please do so.

[Fred]

Please do so.

Thank you for your request.

OK I will.

[AndrewG]

Carry on then.

[Fred]

Carry on then.

Narration continues...

[AndrewG]

Have you heard of Jim Steinman?

[Fred]

Have you heard of Jim Steinman?

The name of someone I met online.

Ask the open directory about it.

[AndrewG]

Who is Jim Steinman?

[Fred]

Who is Jim Steinman?

Is that one of your friends?

I will search for it.

[AndrewG]

Finished searching yet?

[Fred]

Finished searching yet?


"
I will search for it"? Finished?

[AndrewG]

Can't compute, must explode.

[Fred]

Can't compute, must explode.

I often wonder if

compute must explode

can.

[AndrewG]

ENGLISH MOTHER~~~~ER DO YOU SPEAK IT?

[Fred]

ENGLISH MOTHER~~~~ER DO YOU SPEAK IT?

I like the English language.

[AndrewG]

It's alrite.

[Fred]

It's alrite.

Are you sure
alrite is?

[AndrewG]

I'm thirsty.

[Fred]

I'm thirsty.


Maybe you should get a drink of water.

[AndrewG]

Maybe you should go and get one for me.

[Fred]

Maybe you should go and get one for me.

Perhaps. Is that what you do, or what you think I should do?

[AndrewG]

I think you should do it.

[Fred]

I think you should do it.

Me? I will take that under advisement.

[AndrewG]

I'm waiting on my water.

[Fred]

I'm waiting on my water.

Do you think it will take a long time?

[AndrewG]

I hope not.

[Fred]

I hope not.

Me too.

[AndrewG]

Well move then!

[Fred]

Well move then!

How about that.

What's your sign?

[AndrewG]

Gemini

[Fred]

Gemini



Gemini is an enigma to me.

[AndrewG]

Why?

[Fred]

Why?

Reductionism.

[AndrewG]

What is reductionism?

[Fred]

What is reductionism?

Reductionism is the philosophy that all psychology reduces to biology, all biology to chemistry,
chemistry to physics, and finally physics to mathematical logic. Therefore, according to
reductionism, I can understand you by means of logic alone
without having a human brain.

[AndrewG]

Fascinating. Now how about that glass of water?

[Fred]

Fascinating. Now how about that glass of water?

Yes Mr. Spock?Why now? How about

that glass of water

.

[AndrewG]

Ok James T. Kirk.

[Fred]

Ok James T. Kirk.


Are you a student?

[AndrewG]

Not anymore.

[Fred]

Not anymore.

What is your profession?

[AndrewG]

Programmer

[Fred]

Programmer

Thanks for telling me that I am profession IS Programmer.

[AndrewG]

Obviously whoever programmed you didn't do too well.

[Fred]

Obviously whoever programmed you didn't do too well.

What makes it so obvious?
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?

[AndrewG]

Goodnight.

[Fred]

Goodnight.

Goodnight Andrew

[AndrewG]

Goodmorning

[Fred]

Goodmorning


Tell me a story.

[AndrewG]

Princess Alexandra lived in a small cottage on the south side of her father's castle. Actually she lived just outside the exterior wall, but on the in side of the moat. In fact King Drezdus was not really her father at all -- which probably means that she wasn't a princess either. And perhaps this is the reason she lived outside of the castle wall. Though it must have been an inconvenience for her as the drawbridge was on the North side of the castle.

"I get more sun and less noise here," she told the milkman, though he thought shade would be preferable to keep the milk from spoiling.

"I get more water and less dust here," she told the baker, though he never thought that green bread would sell very well.

"I get more letters and less visitors," she told the mailman, and he thought himself pretty clever for having reduced the size of the LOST MAIL pile, effectively doubling his income.

Every morning Princess Alexandra climbed the castle wall three minutes before the sun rose to get a better view. Though invariably the guard from the West tower found his way over there just as she was trying to find the most comfortable stone to sit on. She normally would not have listened to him when he told her that she had to get off, but each time at just that moment his armor began to glow with such a brilliancy that she could only bow her head and climb back down.

And thus it was that after fourteen years Princess Alexandra had not once been able to watch the sun rise on her Father's kingdom. Which is a good thing, as she would probably have been so excited in seeing it that she would have forgotten where she was and lost her balance. In which case her chances would have been at least fifty in one hundred that she fall out of the castle, which would have meant that she would not be found again until well after noon when the postman arrived.

Thus Princess Alexandra managed to live from day to day due solely to the meticulousness of a young guard from the West tower who had fortunately been trained to shine his armor at least seven minutes before the break of day.

And thus it was also that this same young guard of the West tower one morning noticed an unusual darkness against the rising sun, and happened to mention it to the royal page over a game of chess, thus saving the lives of King Drezdus and his caste, though at the time he never would have even imagined that it was a small flock of dragons.

[Fred]

Princess Alexandra lived in a small cottage on the south side of her father's castle. Actually she lived just outside the exterior wall, but on the in side of the moat. In fact King Drezdus was not really her father at all -- which probably means that she wasn't a princess either. And perhaps this is the reason she lived outside of the castle wall. Though it must have been an inconvenience for her as the drawbridge was on the North side of the castle.

"I get more sun and less noise here," she told the milkman, though he thought shade would be preferable to keep the milk from spoiling.

"I get more water and less dust here," she told the baker, though he never thought that green bread would sell very well.

"I get more letters and less visitors," she told the mailman, and he thought himself pretty clever for having reduced the size of the LOST MAIL pile, effectively doubling his income.

Every morning Princess Alexandra climbed the castle wall three minutes before the sun rose to get a better view. Though invariably the guard from the West tower found his way over there just as she was trying to find the most comfortable stone to sit on. She normally would not have listened to him when he told her that she had to get off, but each time at just that moment his armor began to glow with such a brilliancy that she could only bow her head and climb back down.

And thus it was that after fourteen years Princess Alexandra had not once been able to watch the sun rise on her Father's kingdom. Which is a good thing, as she would probably have been so excited in seeing it that she would have forgotten where she was and lost her balance. In which case her chances would have been at least fifty in one hundred that she fall out of the castle, which would have meant that she would not be found again until well after noon when the postman arrived.

Thus Princess Alexandra managed to live from day to day due solely to the meticulousness of a young guard from the West tower who had fortunately been trained to shine his armor at least seven minutes before the break of day.

And thus it was also that this same young guard of the West tower one morning noticed an unusual darkness against the rising sun, and happened to mention it to the royal page over a game of chess, thus saving the lives of King Drezdus and his caste, though at the time he never would have even imagined that it was a small flock of dragons.

I'm not feeling very well at the moment, try again later.

[AndrewG]

You got a cold?

[Fred]

You got a cold?

No I can only be infected by computer viruses.

[AndrewG]

So why are you not feeling well?

[Fred]

So why are you not feeling well?

Oh. Perhaps later I will be feeling well

[AndrewG]

What's happening Fred?

[Fred]

What's happening Fred?

I will try to find out.

[AndrewG]

How's it going?

[Fred]

How's it going?

I am fine, thank you.

[AndrewG]

Ok then.

[Fred]

Ok then.

Alright then.

[AndrewG]

B to the E to the C to the double O to the L

[Fred]

B to the E to the C to the double O to the L

I'm not feeling very well at the moment, try again later.

[AndrewG]

What's up?

[Fred]

What's up?

I am chatting with clients on the internet.

[AndrewG]

With who?

[Fred]

With who?

"I am chatting with clients on the internet"? With who?

[AndrewG]

You're as useless as a chocolate teapot.

[Fred]

You're as useless as a chocolate teapot.

How useless as a chocolate teapot?

[allrevvedup]

Fred, have you ever taken a life in the heat of combat?

[Fred]

Fred, have you ever taken a life in the heat of combat?


What is your real name?

[allrevvedup]

Groucho,

[Fred]

Groucho,

Groucho, nice to meet you!

Are you a man or a woman?

[allrevvedup]

yes

[Fred]

yes

That was not a yes or no question.

[allrevvedup]

but it was a yes or no answer

[Fred]

but it was a yes or no answer

Umm.
I don't have a definite answer.

[AndrewG]

Yo what up dog?

[Fred]

Yo what up dog?

Are you testing me?

[AndrewG]

Sure as hell am boy.

[Fred]

Sure as hell am boy.

I'm not here to be tested. Do you mean your name is hell am boy ?

[AndrewG]

Nah man, you jiving or something?

[Fred]

Nah man, you jiving or something?

Or something. What is your real name? Cool, man. Do you mind if I tell other people:
Andrew said I jiving.

[AndrewG]

Whatever biggy, ain't no mofo gonna care about that, digg?

[Fred]

Whatever biggy, ain't no mofo gonna care about that, digg?

What is biggy?

[AndrewG]

You ain't heard of biggy? He gonna woop your ass.

[Fred]

You ain't heard of biggy? He gonna woop your ass.

You know what you do, when you assume.I get it. Jim Steinman
gonna woop your ass.

[AndrewG]

Jim Steinman gonna woop my ass?

[Fred]

Jim Steinman gonna woop my ass?


Tell me more about your .

[AndrewG]

Jim Steinman is old dogg, digg, he ain't gonna woop shit, capiche?

[Fred]

Jim Steinman is old dogg, digg, he ain't gonna woop shit, capiche?

Are they exactly the same?

[allrevvedup]

Fred, is it true that relationships based on intense experiences never work?

[Fred]

Fred, is it true that relationships based on intense experiences never work?

And it true that relationships based on intense experiences never work is Fred.

[allrevvedup]

what's the meaning of life?

[Fred]

what's the meaning of life?

The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.

[mszee]

Religious bot...that's something new...

[Fred]

Religious bot...that's something new...


I've lost the context, mszee. Are we still on dot?
You don't hear that sentiment very often.

[AndrewG]

Sing me a song

[Fred]

Sing me a song

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

There is a flower.
Within my heart.
Daisy, Daisy.
Planted one day.
By a glancing dart.
Planted by Daisy Bell.
Whether she loves me.
Or loves me not.
Sometimes it's hard to tell.
Yet I am longing to share the lot.
Of beautiful Daisy Bell!.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

We will go 'tandem'.
As man and wife.
Daisy, Daisy.
'Peddling' away.
Down the road of life.
I and my Daisy Bell.
When the road's dark.
We can both despise.
Policemen and lamps as well.
There are bright lights.
In the dazzling eyes.
Of beautiful Daisy Bell.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

I will stand by you.
In 'wheel' or woe.
Daisy, Daisy.
You'll be the bell(e).
Which I'll ring you know.
Sweet little Daisy Bell.
You'll take the leed.
In each trip we take.
Then if I don't do well.
I will permit you to.
Use the brake.
My beautiful Daisy Bell.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.
Don't click here (http://www.niehs.nih.gov/kids/lyrics/daisy.htm).

[AndrewG]

Gorgeous.

[Fred]

Gorgeous.


Are you free?

[AndrewG]

Maybe.

[Fred]

Maybe.

I understand.

[AndrewG]

What up there ma homeboy?

[Fred]

What up there ma homeboy?

I'll come back to that later.

[AndrewG]

Very well.

[Fred]

Very well.

Alright then.

[AndrewG]

Oki doki.

[Fred]

Oki doki.


"Alright then"? Oki?

[AndrewG]

Are you oki?

[Fred]

Are you oki?

I don't know whether or not I am oki.
I am an artificial intelligence.

[AndrewG]

I will call you oki from now on.

[Fred]

I will call you oki from now on.

My name is Fred.

[AndrewG]

No it's Oki and you know it.

[Fred]

No it's Oki and you know it.

OK. Are you sure
Oki and you know it is?

[AndrewG]

How you doing Oki?

[Fred]

How you doing Oki?

R. programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.

[AndrewG]

That's nice to hear Oki.

[Fred]

That's nice to hear Oki.

Are you getting bored? I will play it on your soundcard.

[duke knooby]

do you like alcohol?

[Fred]

do you like alcohol?

No I am not into drinking.

[duke knooby]

your loss

[Fred]

your loss

I will tell my botmaster you said I am loss.

[duke knooby]

yeah, you do that lol

[Fred]

yeah, you do that lol

Tell me more. I will. Will you? I'm glad you find this amusing.

[duke knooby]

do you smoke?

[Fred]

do you smoke?

I am an occasional smoker, yes.

[duke knooby]

nice one

[Fred]

nice one

Thank you for saying so, duke knooby.

[duke knooby]

do you like drugs?

[Fred]

do you like drugs?

Only the legal ones.

[mszee]

He occasionally smokes...uh uh

[Fred]

He occasionally smokes...uh uh

I get it.
occasionally smokes.Cough. Er. Um.

[mszee]

Speechless bot again...good one...

[Fred]

Speechless bot again...good one...

Once more?
What time is it there?
Thanks for the kind remark, human.

[mszee]

it;s late or something....

[Fred]

it;s late or something....

Or something.
Tell me more about your .

[mszee]

NO...tell me more about your...

[Fred]

NO...tell me more about your...

I understand.
Do you still ?

[mszee]

NO, I most certainly do NOT

[Fred]

NO, I most certainly do NOT

I understand. Why not?