View Full Version : Tale From The Shop Counter
Hi all,
I work in a newsagents and this amused me today.
A lad (about 7 years old) came in and was acting like a right little brat being rude to my staff and everything.
He came up to the counter and said "Oy, How much are these?"
I thought, I'm not serving him until he says please and thank you. so I replied "How much are these what?"
"How much are these mints?" he said.
"How much are these mints what?" said I
"How are much are these mints Mr.?" He said
(I was getting bored now) "Whats the magic word?" Said I
"How much are these mints Mr. Abracadabra!!!!!!!" He said.
At which point I started laughing hysterically.
meshurp
12 May 2003, 23:11
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
original sin
12 May 2003, 23:12
:twisted: i don't know if i should laugh or cry at this :twisted:
You could probably write a book on the daft things people say in the shop. I was looking for something in our local earlier and couldn't think ofthe name so gave a very bad description and it felt like i ewas in a monty python sketch
most amusing Chris! :lol: :lol:
White of High
13 May 2003, 16:57
Great!
:lol: love the story,
My husband is a butcher he says people ask for allsorts of things and not always meat things, my hairdresser said she went into a butchers and asked for vegetarian burgers (what a barbie) ,But the silly tails we hear must remind us how often we go into a shop and don`t say thankyou, :?
Hahah, funny story Chris!!!
And is your husband a Butcher??? no way, i'm the Butcher around here :lol:
We get all sorts of nutters in on a regular basis. We had a lady in a few motnhs ago asked me what the winning lottery numbers of rthe following day were!!
Apparently, she said, they draw the lottery a few days earlier adn only pretend that it is live on telly. this means that they can tell all the newsagents the winning numbers so we know not to sell that set of numbers to anyone!!!!!
Is it me??
Probably :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Heat
xxx
We get all sorts of nutters in on a regular basis. We had a lady in a few motnhs ago asked me what the winning lottery numbers of rthe following day were!!
Apparently, she said, they draw the lottery a few days earlier adn only pretend that it is live on telly. this means that they can tell all the newsagents the winning numbers so we know not to sell that set of numbers to anyone!!!!!
Is it me??
Sounds to me like you attract the chris, lol :D
original sin
14 May 2003, 18:25
:mrgreen: If there is any element of truth in what that lady thought.......
Chris do ya think you could email me the numbers :twisted: :mrgreen: :twisted: :mrgreen: :twisted:
:mrgreen:
I can provide you with a set of winning numbers. I cannot guarantee that they are this weeks numbers but they will come out eventually!!!!
original sin
14 May 2003, 23:50
:cry: :cry: I've been saying that for the last 8 years Chris!!! :cry: :cry:
How much longer :??: :??: :??:
:idea: :idea: Maybe we should have an on line syndycate win a couple of million and have Meat do us a private concert :!: :!:
......now thats an idea :idea: :mrgreen:
Well, thought i would bounce this back up a bit....
Today I have been performing the annual tidy out of the lost property cupboard. All items left by customers in out three shops get chucked into a cupboard. This is then saved until the first week in June when it is sorted out and donated to Oxfam. This years inventory is:
Umbrellas (16)
Keys - Assorted House and Car keys (165)
False teeth - Upper sets (3), lower sets (2)
Walking Sicks/Crutches (19)
Hearing Aids (3)
Wallets (19)
Hats & Caps (128)
Shoes - 1, Gents Laft Black Leather Shoe
Pushchairs - 1
Mobile Phones - 17
Sweeping Brushes - 1
Buckets - 3
Walkmans - 7
Cassettes/CD's - 27
Bottles of wine - 6
Trousers - 1 pair, Gents waist size 34"
Boxer Shorts - 2 pairs, size Medium
Bras - 1, Size 34D, Red!!
Thermos Flasks - 2 (1 containing Soup!!)
Drill Bits - 1, !/4" Masonary Bit - Blunt
Dog Leashes - 17
Bus passes - 93
Bags - Handbags/Schoolbags/ etc - 24
Assorted Combs/Hairbrushes - 58
Books - 43
I will add to this list as and when I sort more junk out!!!
Chris :lol: what does go on in your shop?some of the items i can understand people absentmindedly forgetting :lol: ,but some of them 8O the mind boggles as to how you couldforget them,or not notice you'd lost them :lol: :lol:
I agree entirely!!!
How the chuff do you manage to leave a bra behind in the shop??
Or you're false teeth??
Or you're crutches, how'd you get out of the shop? crawling?
This is really mindbogling......
At my work people tend to forget clothes or they're toothbrushes, but he, I work in a hospital....
How in the world do you forget those things in a shop???
A very astounded,
Asha
Testify
03 Jun 2003, 23:59
:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: i would have loved to have been a fly on the wall chris!!!
I am bouncing this topic up once more in order to have a little rant. Nothing major and I hope i don't offend anyone but:
Why the hell do people seem to think that my one aim in life is to get as much of their spit and saliva on my hands as possible.
What part of "that will be £5.27 please love" sounds like "please take twenty pounds from your purse, stick it in your mouth and drool over it at much as possible."
This is one thing that is really starting to p... me off. Surely there is no reason for doing it. Do the people not realise that there are germs adn thigns in their mouths. And also, it is disgusting. Would you lick your credit card before handing it over in a resteraunt? No? Then why feel the need to do this with your notes!!!!
I do not want to have to be washing my hands after serving every customer because of the gunk on them. So people, please think when opening your wallets.
Rant over!!!!
(PS it is invariably women who do this!!)
The Flying Mouse
21 Jul 2003, 23:10
:twisted: It's not always the customer at fault Chris :lol: .
I met Carol in town before and decided to get some KFC to bring home in a taxi.Carol abandoning her diet for the day :lol: .
I asked the Indian guy behind the counter for a carton of gravy.
He told me that they didn't have any beans left.
I said no,I want gravy.
He again told me that they had no beans.
I pointed to the menu board at a big picure of a carton of gravy (which was unfortunatly on the same picture of a carton of beans) and said I want some gravy.
He told me we havn't got any beans,we've got gravy.
8O
I refer to the notice that I keep pinned to my office wall (OK, it's actually the kitchenette in the bedsit above the shop where we store stock! But it's an office to me!)
The customer is always right
Ignorant
pigheaded
misinformed
rude
obnoxious
cheeky
and down right irritable
but NEVER wrong!
EDIT
Forgot to say, the place where all us staff hang out - American but great!!! (http://www.customerssuck.com)
EDIT 2
Brilliant, the site address ahd the word s u c k s in so I cannot post it!!! It is www.customers s u c k.com
Went to check out that site, Chris. There are some very Funny things there. I was in stiches :lmao:
Asha
tukayaway
23 Jul 2003, 00:08
I work in a bank and you get some scarily stupid people there:
Like the bloke who didn't understand that he had to pay back an overdraft. He thought that the bank simply gave him money.
Or the customer who asked me if she could send money abroad. To Wales.
Or the customer who asked for a statement. Who banks at another bank.
The only good thing is that I'm allowed to be rude to non-customers! :twisted:
Remind me never to annoy any of you...
I have just had a woman in the shop with her children.
One of the children picked up a packet of sweets. Opened them adn ate 1. The mother said "You're not allowed those" and put the OPEN packet back ont he shelf. I said excuse me but you'll ahev to apy for them because she's opened them.
For my troubles I was rewarded with a mouthful of abuse adn lots of bad language!!!
The final comment was "Who the ~~~~ are you to ~~~~ing tell me what I can and cannot ~~~~ing buy. Youc an take them sweets and shove them up your arse!!!"
And I was having a good day until then!!
Hi Chris - Well first all let me say take a chill pill, easier said than done I know. Did you check to make sure the baby still wasn't in the pushchair. :lol:
As for the item of clothing mine I think :oops: :lol: well it fits :!:
Seriously though Chris I do feel sorry for you, I am aware of how obnoxious customers can be, I deal with them every day on behalf of my husbands business as well. We had a call last Boxing Day and they expected Roy to come out to them to fix a leak! Sometimes they even ring
gone 11pm and expect Roy to ring back with quote for windows, etc., I say pppff! :x
Crystal Eyes
31 Jul 2003, 17:25
I reccomend a site. I think it's www.rinkworks.com. Try looking at the computer stupidities.
I used to work a railway station doing enquiries and selling tickets. One day the actor who plays Poison in Londons Burning came through. He was stood looking up at the monitor to check his train times. My friend was across the hall and I pointed to him and said "look who it is" She thought I meant he had stolen the newspaper that he was carrying, she didn't recognise him at all. She went over and accused him of stealing the paper because I had seen him do it.!!!. Anyway the outcome was he ranted and raved at me for about five minutes while I stood and listened politely, when he had finished I smiled said "thank you, but I don't want your autograph" He just stormed off.
Hi
I worked in a private hospital and I was checking a little old lady to take her to have her operation I asked all the the questions on the checklist. Everything was fine until I asked her if she had her breakfast expecting her to say no as she was supposed to be starved she said of course she 'd had breakfast. I explained that she was Nil by mouth and her reply, but my dear I'm private only NHS patients are staved.
Beam me up Scotty
Rosie
Cheers for the advice Dottie, I think I will skip the chill pill and start on the alcohol. (the child in question was 9, surely old enough to know better!!)
having chilled over lunch, I returned to work this afternoon and was sworn at by a lady when I asked her not to bring her dog in the shop (with the exception of guide dogs, regulations say we cannot allow dogs in the shop because we sell unwrapped food). I was sworn at and told that "My dad's gonna come down and give youa good slap" by a 12 year old who I refused to sell cigarettes to.
And finally, I live int he flat above the shop, a customer has just come round to my flat as the shop is closed to tell me she didn't get her copy of the sun delivered this morning and that she wants me to open the shop up again to get her a copy!!!!
Me thinks, there should be a change in the law to allow shopworkers to slap the bejeezus out of daft customers.
At what point did it become acceptable for people to shout swear and generally abuse shop staff!!
I am now going to go get a nice cold Bud and try to chill!!!!
My sympathy Chris you've certainly had a day of it.
it's amazing how rude some people can be
Bren
Poor Chris - had a day of it alright, ain't ya hun??? :twisted:
On a lighter note though - i work for Child Line, and one day answered a call from a child who said he was stuck on level three. After about ten minuites of trying to work out what the hell he was on about, he finally said that it it was his birthday, and he'd gotten a gamecube as a present.
Apparently inside the box there was a little note that said if he ever needed any advice or had any problems he could ring Child Line. Which is exactly what he did.....and we were able to help him move on from where he was stuck at in the game :wink:
Had to laugh at that one Heat. It reminded me of my daughter, when she was about 7 years old she told me that she was going to ring Child Line, so I did the caring mother bit and said lets sit and talk about your problems, what can I do for you etc. etc. and apparently she was going to ring Child Line because I wouldn't play a board game with her!! :roll:
I have had another one!!!!
One of the problems with my job is that you have to put up with a lot of pensioners. Being a small village store we get the same people in every day so you start to build up relationships with them.
One of the little old ladies (76 next month) comes in and flirts outrageously with me!!! Normally this is to do with things like "So Chris, where are you running away with me to when you win the lottery" and the like.
On Tuesday she came in and was buying her usual stuff. She always buys 20 or 40 cigarettes so i was putting her order together for her and pointed at the cigarettes and said "One pack or Two pack?" the reply came back "Can't I have six-pack? Your six pack please darling!!"
I was that shocked by this comment from a sweet little old lady that I almost gave her too much change!!!!!
soooooo funny bless her, :wink: that one was cheeky though the boy opening the bag of sweets taking one out, and his mum says you cant have them, so they put them back, b....y cheek is what i say :evil: .You do have a bad time of it dont you Chris. :roll:
resurrecting the topic for two things:
Firstly: AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH - I have had every nutter in Huddersfield in the shop today!!!!!!! Do they follow me?? Is there a sign somewhere telling them to come and tease me!!
Althougha big smile to the woman who normally comes int he shop I run. She came in our huddersfield shop, spotted me and walked straight abck out again. Went into the shop i run and screamed blue murder at the boss for sacking me so i had to go work in the next town!! It took the boss ten minutes to calm her down and tell her he owns both shops and i was only covering for someone at the other one!!
Secondly: Tomorrow I am off to Birmingham to the Convinience Retail Show. Where the high point will be seeing The Worlds Largest pot Noodle!! Last year it was the worlds largest club sandwich adn it was massive!!!!
black dog
17 Mar 2004, 00:38
At least she cared enough to worry that you'd been sacked Chris.
ChrissybabezNI
17 Mar 2004, 03:01
I know just how you feel. I used to work in a shop and I hated it. some people treated us as if we were lesser beings or completely stupid just because we worked in a shop. (Did they ever stop to think I was only there because I was still in education?)
I worked in a small shop and one day I was filling up a drinks cooler when a man came up to me with a shopping basket and a shopping list and handed them to me. I looked at him for a moment and asked him what he was giving them to me for. He only wanted me to get the shopping for him! He wasnt too pleased when I told him he had to get it himself. Like your story, I had an underage boy coming in for cigarettes who wasnt able to present any ID. Seemingly he had his dad in the car which I noticed when I looked out the window, they were sitting in the car giving us dirty looks. Then the father handed his son a cigarette and he lit one too and they both walked into the shop where they proceeded to call me and the other girl working behind the till 'sl*ts' and went crazy when we told them to take the cigarettes outside and they should have had he sense not to light fags on a petrol forecourt anyway :? In fact we had a lot of people walking into the shop smoking and when they were asked to put them out they asked where the no smoking sign was. (I don't know any shops you actually ARE allowed to smoke in!) We also had a man in threatening us because he had a flat tyre and the air pump had been vandalised (not our fault) I have been shouted at by an old women because I packed her apple tart too roughly and 'acted as if I didnt care about it' (I took it out and checked it and there was nothing wrong with it and even offered her to get aother one for her to which she refused) Another customer also complained about me because I didnt tell her that we didnt have a machine to print out cheques even though there is a sign at each till telling the customers so and I wouldnt write her cheque out for her (against our company policy) If you own a cheque book you should at least be capable of writing out a cheque! We also had people complaining that the ATM outside was out of order even though it has nothing to do with us, it's to do with the bank, funnily enough!
When I worked in retail I always conducted good customer care, but some customers really do expect to have their a**es kissed :)
here endeth my rant
Oh the joys lol. I work on the Deli Counter in our local Asda/Walmart. Those of you who frequent Asda in the U.K and buy pizza's will probably know about our 'four toppings on a pizza' rule. Well, there we are one day, serving away quite happily, making up pizza's for the customers when ...... up comes one guy, with his children. He asks for a 14" Thin and Crispy pizza. Off goes one of the girls to get the base, sauces it, puts the cheese on and asks him what he wants. Oh well, says the guy, I'll have spicey chicken, pepperoni, mushrooms and red onion on one half, (four toppings) and on the other half I'll have ordinary chicken, ham, pineapple and peppers. No sorry, we can't do that says my colleague, it is against cooking regulations the pizza won't cook properly, plus the base won't hold eight toppings (bearing in mind he wanted four on each side). He rants and raves about how he had been given a pizza like this before, by which time the poor girl serving him is getting angry and flustered and looking for help. I stop serving the customer I was dealing with to try and explain it was against our guidelines and company policy to serve a pizza with any more than four toppings on it. He rants and raves a bit more,and says he is off to complain at customer services. Off he goes, and the next thing, the trainee Manager walks up to me and tells me to make a pizza with, yes, you got it, eight toppings on it. To which I reply, no sorry, I refuse to do that. She asks the other girls ... they reply no sorry we are not doing it either. The next thing our Manager goes to customer services, speaks to the guy and comes back and says okay who is going to make this guys pizza with FOUR toppings on it. He got his pizza, two toppings either side and has never been seen since.
Some people think it is their god given right to treat Shop Assistants like dirt, they have no respect for them whatsoever, but I always think that nothing gives them the right to treat us that way. After all, they wouldn't be happy if it was us giving them abuse would they.
That's my rant over (and my postcount up by one more) :lol:
The Flying Mouse
17 Mar 2004, 06:26
:twisted: I used to work in a joke shop.One day the owner got some industrial strength (I don't know what the hell it was but it set like steel 8O ) glue.
He had the idea to glue some coins (I think it was a 50p a 20p and a 5p coins) to the pavement outside the shop, just where we could see people trying to pick them up :devil: .
Every day at least one person would try and pick the coins up.Then one day, an old man came hobbling by when he spotted the coins on the floor.He bent down to pick them up but of corse couldn't.He stood up and started looking through this old string shopping bag he was carrying until he found his keys.He started trying to prise the 50p coin up with his front door key :lol: .The owner and I were laughing our heads off, and the old dude must have heard us."They're stuck down pretty well arn't they?" he called to us.We agreed.He shuffled off.
Ten minutes later he was back, with a HAMMER & CHISLE :lmao:
Best thing is, he still couldn't get those coins up 8)
Keep Rocking
27 Mar 2004, 23:59
a good friend of mine once asked in a sweet shop (is it called that?):
"Do you have something without sugar?"
The face of the guy behind the counter was priceless :D
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