Chris
18 May 2003, 21:20
Feel free to use as many of these excuses as you like! (no responsibility accepted for people whose boss does not have a sense of humour!!)
I will be late for work because...
~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss,
who fired me for not s showing up for work. Okay?
~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that
deadline to meet...
~ I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
~ Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey,
how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you?
No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
~ I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come
to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
~ The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this
jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I'm startled.
~ The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
~ I prefer to remain an enigma.
~ I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is
completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter
transportation.
~ I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
~ I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
~ I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on
paying my fair share.
~ I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!
~ I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an
hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop,
reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop
only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks
in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled
up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.
I will be late for work because...
~ I can't come in to work today because I'll be stalking my previous boss,
who fired me for not s showing up for work. Okay?
~ I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that
deadline to meet...
~ I am stuck in the blood pressure machine down at the Food Giant.
~ Yes, I seem to have contracted some attention-deficit disorder and, hey,
how about them Skins, huh? So, I won't be able to, yes, could I help you?
No, no, I'll be sticking with Sprint, but thank you for calling.
~ I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn't come
to work knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
~ The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this
jaw restraint so I won't bite things when I'm startled.
~ The dog ate my car keys. We're going to hitchhike to the vet.
~ I prefer to remain an enigma.
~ I can't come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is
completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter
transportation.
~ I am converting my calendar from Julian to Gregorian.
~ I am extremely sensitive to a rise in the interest rates.
~ I refuse to travel to my job until there is a commuter tax. I insist on
paying my fair share.
~ I've used up all my sick days...so I'm calling in dead!
~ I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an
hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop,
reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop
only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly e*log(pi) clocks
in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled
up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early.