Official Pub Thread (Bat&Bellfry + Bed&Breakfast)

[Hypnobabe]

I think you're supposed to know the secret handshake...

Any chance of some food? Full English breakfast, toast instead of fried bread, and a bucket of tea? Thanks...

By the way, anyone seen Bob the Cellarman lately?

[Monstro]

What do you have to do to get a drink around here??


Mend my electric so I can get online!!!!!!

[SW31]

have you considered paying the bill LOL


sorry m

make mind a beer

[Monstro]

on it's way m8

[Monstro]

Welcome to happy hour, all drinks at special prices, what's your poison?

[mszee]

Can I have some arsenic mixed in with some nice drain cleaner???

[Monstro]

Can I have some arsenic mixed in with some nice drain cleaner???

One "Throatunblocker" cocktail coming up

[mszee]

One "Throatunblocker" cocktail coming up

Thanks, buddy...will buy you some more...ummm...how should I put it...conventional...:lol:

[Monstro]

usual for me thanks

[mszee]

usual for me thanks

Here you go...something containing high contents of alchohol with diet coke...I like those mixes too...something to share at Wembley, eh?

[SW31]

share like the sound of that

beer please

[Monstro]

Pint of the cold stuff on it's way sir

[mszee]

British drinks don't affect me at all...bet you I will drink you all under the table...

[Monstro]

I wouldn't fit under a table lol

[mszee]

It's just an expression...where do you want to fit under??? :shock: :lmao:

[SW31]

seams like a challenge has been set

[mszee]

Oh yeah...wanna place bets or we just wait and see?

[Monstro]

Politely please folks, we run a quality establishment here, may I suggest Witherspoons or Yates's?

[SW31]

or cheers

[mszee]

What was impolite about setting a drink under the table challenge??? :shock:

Plus...what is Witherspoons and Yates's?

I just barely learned what half eight means...I mean...how half eight is 8:30? Half eight is 7:30...geez...those Brits...

[Monstro]

Plus...what is Witherspoons and Yates's?



Cheap booze and cheaper morals to running quality inns

[mszee]

You know...this is what I figure...I don't know any better...I will just follow the majority...think I've got a right idea?

[SW31]

cheap beer yeah

may i have another please

[Monstro]

on it's way in a fresh glass

[mszee]

Some more poison please...I need to take more codeine to wash it down with...

[Monstro]

another throatunblocker coming up

[mszee]

Thanks...at least this pub is getting some decent help these days...

[Monstro]

quality service is our watchword!!!!!!

[SW31]

service with a smile ,might make this my regular

[Monstro]

service with a smile ,might make this my regular

and a fresh glass lol

[SW31]

true

[mszee]

service with a smile ,might make this my regular

I am sure you wife will be delighted that your regular is a virtual pub with virtual spirits...hahahahahahahahaha...

[Monstro]

for a virtual pub this whisky tastes bloody great!!!!!

[SW31]

& the beer is good also, forget about the wife

[mszee]

& the beer is good also, forget about the wife

I don't have any problem whatsoever forgetting your wife...hahahahahaha...

[Monstro]

May have to have a ladies night then!!!!!

[SW31]

chsib ,,LOL

[mszee]

Let's play some pretend...

Bar person...some 15 year old scotch...cause this is what I am drinking now anyway...

[mszee]

Alright...what is ladies night in British speak?

[Monstro]

Let's play some pretend...

Bar person...some 15 year old scotch...cause this is what I am drinking now anyway...

On it's way, <<<gets the lead crystal glasses out

[SW31]

ladies only nite normaly with male stripers

[Monstro]

ladies night, not ladies only............lol

[mszee]

I am not drunk enough yet to imagine that you guys volunteer as strippers...am I correct in that assumption???

[SW31]

did it for charity a couple of years ago never to be repeated

[mszee]

Never say never...

Michael, that scotch is doing wonders...why did I resort to medication first???

[Monstro]

did it for charity a couple of years ago never to be repeated

<<<Mutters under his breath as he pours the malt........Thank god!!!!!!!!

[mszee]

Well, speak for yourself then...

[SW31]

beer please ,save the malt for wembely

[tinkerbell]

Strippers............................. where?

[mszee]

Wow...this thing is burning my mouth...THAT srong...great stuff...

[Monstro]

bloody hell Tinkerbell's got AMAZING hearing lol

[mszee]

Strippers............................. where?

Guys are promising are something...we had some here in this pub some pages back...

[Monstro]

beer on it's way

[tinkerbell]

Feck im always too late..........

[mszee]

Feck im always too late..........

This is a rowdy lot...you never know...I know for a fact at least a couple done stripping before...just save your pennies to get them drunk...I will point out to you who to go after...

[Monstro]

Free drink on it's way to the lady with the cute avatar!!!!!!

What's your pleasure Tinkerbell?

[SW31]

thanks mate



oowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww t its never to late

[tinkerbell]

don't drink:(

[Monstro]

coffee bar is open and I make a great tea!!!!

[mszee]

Who comes to the pub for coffee or tea? *Puzzled*

[tinkerbell]

Ok tea it is, strong with a hint of milk, no sugar

[Monstro]

On its way!!!!!

[tinkerbell]

or a hint of something stronger, brandy

[mszee]

or a hint of something stronger, brandy

NOW you're talking...

[Monstro]

The customer gets what she wants, reaches for the cognac

[tinkerbell]

quite fancy a g&t

[Monstro]

don't drink:(


You turned into a drinker quick lol

[mszee]

You turned into a drinker quick lol

I know...we're a very bad influence I am afraid...

[SW31]

looks like another one that follows the majority

[tinkerbell]

truthfully havent had a drink in years.

[SW31]

by theese beers are going down well tonight

another please & a round for the house

[mszee]

Thanks, Chris...I am still nursing my scotch...toothache...medicinal purposes...

[Betty]

Double Sambuca please!
And don´t light it, need all the alcohol I can get!!

[Monstro]

Bank Holiday - <<<<Rolls out the "Coach Parties Welcome" sign and writes the lunchtime specials board.

[Hypnobabe]

How's about a breakfast special?

[Monstro]

How's about a breakfast special?

Full English with a veggie option available!!!!

[Hypnobabe]

Full English with a veggie option available!!!!

Veggie? Please.... this is a full English breakfast we're talking about here, there's a time and a place for veggie, and this is NOT it!!!!!

And I'll take that breakfast with a bucket of tea, please, and whatever you're having...

[Monstro]

I'll have a bacon sarni with you - bacon, sausage, egg, fried bread, grilled tomato, mushrooms, baked beans and kidney coming up!!!

[Betty]

Veggie option???? Great, I´ll have it! x

[SW31]

full english with a nice ground coffee

[mszee]

I am no expert but full English breakfast veggie option would be beans and tomatoes...I think???

[Betty]

That´d be ok...
As hungry as I am right now, I´d be fine with nearly everything ;)

[mszee]

That´d be ok...
As hungry as I am right now, I´d be fine with nearly everything ;)

Even meat product??? :shock:

[Betty]

No, that´s the nearly exception I was talking about ;)

[mszee]

No, that´s the nearly exception I was talking about ;)

Don't know if England is exactly geared for vegetarians...

[Monstro]

If you're gonna argue about it do it elsewhere please, there's a queue behind you

[mszee]

If you're gonna argue about it do it elsewhere please, there's a queue behind you

Turns around...sees NOBODY behind...looks again at bar help...and quietly leaves...

[Hypnobabe]

Don't know if England is exactly geared for vegetarians...

Of course we are... we have celery, don't we?

[Betty]

Don't know if England is exactly geared for vegetarians...

I´ll survive it...
Just 6 days to go through lol


If you're gonna argue about it do it elsewhere please, there's a queue behind you

:wtf: !!!! :nuts: !!!!!!

[mszee]

Of course we are... we have celery, don't we?

Not nececelery...

[Hypnobabe]

Not nececelery...

:lmao:

Barkeep? A large drink for my dear friend here please...

[mszee]

:lmao:

Barkeep? A large drink for my dear friend here please...

Gracias, Segnora...

I am the only one on this website who is working today...well, at work anyway...

[Hypnobabe]

I'm working... well, I'm out in my office, tappity tapping on the computer, that's as close to work as I ever get...

[Monstro]

still on the throatunblockers Zina?

[mszee]

still on the throatunblockers Zina?

Switched to tea now...I figure it's too early to die today yet...

[Monstro]

ok

[tinkerbell]

Have i missed last orders?:panic:

[Monstro]

for you I'll have an extension, what you want??????

[SW31]

4 beers & a whisky & coke

[tinkerbell]

Oh wat i want u can't give me:shock:

[Monstro]

<<,serves Chris but is really interested in what Tinkerbell wants lol

[SW31]

withdraws order for whisky & coke LOL

[Monstro]

<<withdraws everything Chris asked for lol

[tinkerbell]

can u make cocktails??

Long island iced tea

[Monstro]

On it's way (<<<<runs to check his cocktail makers guide)

[Monstro]

would you rather not have a long slow screw?

[tinkerbell]

:roll: thirsty here.....................

[Monstro]

Here you go, enjoy!!!!!

[tinkerbell]

would you rather not have a long slow screw?

Pardon??

[Monstro]

It's a cocktail

[SW31]

not going there

[Monstro]

Ok, a round on the house, who wants what?

[SW31]

a bottle of 25 y old malt please

& a cider for the mrs

[Monstro]

one SINGLE shot coming up

[tinkerbell]

At this time of night anything will do....:D

[Monstro]

At this time of night anything will do....:D

Me????? LOL

[tinkerbell]

I prefer a young wine......maybe californian

[Monstro]

<<feels rejected but pours a wine

[tinkerbell]

join me for a drink and chris too:cool:

[Monstro]

Pours the three of us a drink

[tinkerbell]

:cheers:

[Monstro]

bottoms up!!!!!

[tinkerbell]

very nice

[Monstro]

my bottom??????

[tinkerbell]

<well i wouldn't know that> yet!

[SW31]

fulll english please with a fresh ground coffee

[Monstro]

No worries, on it's way

[tinkerbell]

Service please, a martini bianco, ta:cool:

[RadioMaster]

bleeep

[duke knooby]

got any poiti'n, just a wee scoot mind, its good gear

[JanT]

Cup of Horlicks please, can't sleep.

[SW31]

beer please

[mszee]

OK...whoever wants what is all served...

Except for Jonty/knooby...need translation to what he said...

[SW31]

:cheers: :cheers:

[The Flying Mouse]

bleeep


:twisted: No bleeping in here please, ladies present :wtf:


So how's my empire doing?

[mszee]

:twisted: No bleeping in here please, ladies present :wtf:


So how's my empire doing?

:shock:

*Speechless*

[tinkerbell]

did u say drinks all around??:D

[Monstro]

did you?

[tinkerbell]

I might have.......rum and coke please

[Monstro]

Ice?

[tinkerbell]

Oh! yes please:roll:

[Monstro]

On it's way

[tinkerbell]

join me, what would you like?

[Monstro]

you can put a whisky in my glass thank you!!!

[tinkerbell]

sante :cheers:

[Monstro]

Bottoms up

[tinkerbell]

indeed, bottoms up

[SW31]

make mine a beer thanks

[tinkerbell]

ok i don't drink but i feel i need a drink, wat do u recommend?

[Monstro]

Large whisky with a Sambuca chaser coming up

[tinkerbell]

oh this better be good

[duke knooby]

any poiti'n on the go???

[tinkerbell]

you wanna blow ur head off completely:shock:

[duke knooby]

again, good gear

[Monstro]

just illegal!!!!!!

[tinkerbell]

poisonous if taken in excessive amounts

[Monstro]

poisonous if taken in excessive amounts

That explains Jonty lol

[tinkerbell]

lol i can believe that

[SW31]

beer please

[Monstro]

no problem

[SW31]

:cheers:

[duke knooby]

:whistle: :whistle: :whistle:

[tinkerbell]

no comment jonty??

[mszee]

any poiti'n on the go???

What is it??? :shock:

[AndyK]

What is it??? :shock:

Irish version of moonshine ...

[mszee]

Irish version of moonshine ...

Gracias!

[AndyK]

Gracias!

Prego!

[mszee]

Prego!

The correct response, of course, is de nada...

Why prego? Prego is "please" in Italian???

[AndyK]

Nah Prego is italian for you're welcome, especially when it is said in response to Grazie.

[mszee]

Nah Prego is italian for you're welcome, especially when it is said in response to Grazie.

True...which makes gracias Spanish....;)

In any event...grazie mille!!!

[AndyK]

I was merely following the theme of International Languages Day which appeared to have started in this establishment ... English, Spanish, Italian ... what's next?

[mszee]

Not awake here at all...

Alright then...I'll follow the leader...

Yak she mash?

[AndyK]

Eu sou agradeço-o muito bem

[mszee]

Eu sou agradeço-o muito bem

Ahhh...you finally got me...don't know Portugese at all!!!

[AndyK]

Ahhh...you finally got me...don't know Portugese at all!!!

I claim my prize of a lifetimes supply of free drinks! :cheers:

[mszee]

I claim my prize of a lifetimes supply of free drinks! :cheers:

Than it appears that your life will be somewhat short...and I know just a person to help me out with this!!! ;)

[Monstro]

I claim my prize of a lifetimes supply of free drinks! :cheers:

Posts the Andy K is barred sign above the bar!!!!!!

[AndyK]

Posts the Andy K is barred sign above the bar!!!!!!

<<<<<<< Points out that AndyK was drinking here loing before you were a twinkole in the forum's eye, and also instigated the first lock-in (http://www.mlukfc.com/forums/showpost.php?p=87985&postcount=20) ...

[Monstro]

<<<<<<< Points out that AndyK was drinking here loing before you were a twinkole in the forum's eye, and also instigated the first lock-in (http://www.mlukfc.com/forums/showpost.php?p=87985&postcount=20) ...

Orders from the landlord I'm afraid........

Anybody claiming lifetime supply of free drinks is automatically barred for said lifetime or shot............

I can't find the ammo for the shotgun

[AndyK]

That's because I hid the ammo ... Mouse may be licensee and landlord in terms of names above the door, but all forum staff have shares in the profits of this place ... how else do you think we can afford the upcoming tour costs?

[mszee]

Orders from the landlord I'm afraid........

Anybody claiming lifetime supply of free drinks is automatically barred for said lifetime or shot............

I can't find the ammo for the shotgun

Where did you find the landlord??? :shock:

[Monstro]

No problem, just as soon as I get it in writing (triplicate) from the virtual landlord who pays said barman's virtual wages.

Don't wanna get virtually sacked..........


I'm starting to take this way too seriously..................


Memo to self - never get pissed and go online............I still don't remember how I got this bloody job

[AndyK]

You assume that the landlord can write?

[Monstro]

You assume that the landlord can write?

By the time I see him in here I'm lucky if he can walk!!!!!!!!!!!

[LucyK!]

I'm working at the bar tonight, you should all come over for a pint! :up:

(I appreciate it's a rival bar but I could use the company in there lol)

[AndyK]

On my way!! The staff are far better looking a the rival bar ;-)

[mszee]

I would love to come to your pub, Lucy...

I can never get served here...don't even know why...

[LucyK!]

On my way!! The staff are far better looking a the rival bar ;)

I hope you weren't talking about Charlie and Declan?! :shock:

Come on up Zina, I serve anyone in that place :lol:

Very nice it is too!!

[AndyK]

I hope you weren't talking about Charlie and Declan?! :shock:
What do you think? :roll:


Come on up Zina, I serve anyone in that place :lol:

I'll vouch for that :cheers:

[mszee]

I hope you weren't talking about Charlie and Declan?! :shock:

Come on up Zina, I serve anyone in that place :lol:

Very nice it is too!!

You know what...I'd rather buy you a drink...I'll see you soon enough...

Could you, people, move closer to me or something???

[Betty]

Could anyone please pour me a large glass of Sambuca?
Much appreciated, thanks!

[AndyK]

Could anyone please pour me a large glass of Sambuca?
Much appreciated, thanks!

With or without flames?

[Betty]

Without!!
That´d be a waste of alcohol ;)

[AndyK]

Saves trimming your nasal hair though :lmao:

[mszee]

Saves trimming your nasal hair though :lmao:

:shock:

Such language from a gentleman!!!

[Betty]

Saves trimming your nasal hair though :lmao:

Eww!!
Now where´s my Sambuca????

[AndyK]

nasal Zina, nasal ... clean your ears out :p

[mszee]

nasal Zina, nasal ... clean your ears out :p

Ears or eyes???

My dear...implying that a lady has nasal hair...is an insult in itself...

Now go and get your mind out of the gutter!!! :lmao:

[AndyK]

Now go and get your mind out of the gutter!!! :lmao:

I was merely lowering mysef to everyone else's level :eyebrows:

[mszee]

I was merely lowering mysef to everyone else's level :eyebrows:

That which was born to fly...can't crawl...

[AndyK]

That which was born to fly...can't crawl...

And, to quote one of my old signature lines ... eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

[mszee]

And, to quote one of my old signature lines ... eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

I remember your signature...

Alright...let's settle on you being an eagle with somewhat clipped wings...I refuse to think that you're anywhere near the weasel type...

[SW31]

beer please befor i go over to the rival for a quick half

[duke knooby]

What is it??? :shock:

made from spuds, lol.

[tinkerbell]

Fancy a nitecap anyone?

or is it drinking chocolate before bed..............

[Lord Kagan]

Strong coffee please

[SW31]

full english & a caffatier of coffee

[Monstro]

Alkeehol!!!!!!!

[tinkerbell]

Jeepers this bars deserted, a red wine and Im off........

[duke knooby]

hey lawrence, a pint a harp and a packet of dates please

[Monstro]

<<<wakes up as been on duty for bloody hours with no customers and had fallen asleep!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nobody here??????????????

Pours himself a whisky then lol

[tinkerbell]

Opening time yet?..................half a lager and a packet of crisps please

[duke knooby]

got any absinth?

[Betty]

jesus, is it that serious with you knooby?? :shock:
<<< pours you one

[duke knooby]

just the one???? it'll do for a start, ta very much, have one yourself

[mszee]

Anything I am NOT allergic to...sorry can't be of more help...cause have no clue what else I am allergic to...

[tinkerbell]

Mmm water for zina :D and a vodka and orange for me, please

[mszee]

Mmm water for zina :D and a vodka and orange for me, please

I think I can drink straight vodka...maybe?

[SW31]

beer please and a free round on me to celebrate the end of st georges day

[tinkerbell]

Cheers :cheers:

[duke knooby]

free round?? what didnt i spot that sooner

[SW31]

beer please

[tinkerbell]

fancy a cocktail, wat do u recommend?

[Betty]

Pina Colada!!
Try one... :cheers:

[Monstro]

gets out of his sick bed for a quick whisky

[tinkerbell]

cheers, join me betty in a toast:-P

[Monstro]

no food thanks, just the whisky lol

[tinkerbell]

Typical only think of their stomach's........whiskey, bushmills malt comin up

[Betty]

will do TB, thx! fancy a nice pina colada myself! yummy :D

[tinkerbell]

done, cheers

[Monstro]

ok, one more

[tinkerbell]

for the road.....

[Monstro]

for the duvet even lol

[mszee]

OK...one for me too...whatever everybody is having...

[Monstro]

Free drinks for the next five mins only (only doing this to piss Smoggy Chris off)

[The Flying Mouse]

Free drinks for the next five mins

:twisted: :yikes: :faint:

[JanT]

Weak tea, milk, two sugars please.

[SW31]

Free drinks for the next five mins only (only doing this to piss Smoggy Chris off)

since i was out last night i'll have my drink now ta


4x beers :cheers:

[Betty]

one large shandy please...!
need to get ready for this evening

[Monstro]

since i was out last night i'll have my drink now ta


4x beers :cheers:

too late, was a once only offer lol

[mszee]

too late, was a once only offer lol

And who took advantage of it besides you??? :wtf:

[tinkerbell]

Free drinks for the next five mins only (only doing this to piss Smoggy Chris off)

I just missed that by about 20 minutes, u ***te......:mad:

[SW31]

beer please

[tinkerbell]

Mmm something cold and refreshing.....please

[SW31]

water with ice comming up

[duke knooby]

a black bush would be fantastic ta

[tinkerbell]

a black bush would be fantastic ta

Too many whiskey drinkers here...........how about a brandy and ginger?

[Monstro]

We cater for all sorts, one Brandy and ginger on it's way, you want ice?

[Monstro]

Too many whiskey drinkers here...........how about a brandy and ginger?

And you can never have too many whisky drinkers...........unless it's Andy's good stuff we're drinking lol

[tinkerbell]

yes please, on the rocks