Living

[Rob The Badger]

It's overrated, isn't it?

[airhead]

Life is what you make it bucko. I have a love/ hate relationship with mine!

[Rob The Badger]

As much as I'd like to agree with your boundless optimism, life is not what you make it. Ever. Sometimes the devil sh!ts in your soup and there's nowt you can do about it.

[airhead]

Rob, I don't have boundless optimism. Last week I was down on the floor. Heck I was lower than the floor!

Now, you CAN make life what you want it to be! My nan did, my grandad did, My mum did, and I am doing. its a known fact!

[Gez]

:twisted: Councilling Session for you Badger :roll:

I think the only people who'll agree with you are...........Dead 8O

[Rob The Badger]

It's really laughable. . .

[KebLou]

Rob, I don't have boundless optimism. Last week I was down on the floor. Heck I was lower than the floor!

Now, you CAN make life what you want it to be! My nan did, my grandad did, My mum did, and I am doing. its a known fact!

Airhead, you have boundless optimisim, believe me right now I'm down and I have been for that last 5 months at least, with only a few days when I felt happy (I swear someone gave me something), in fact the only time when I was truely happy and not feeling like a total piece of sh!t was when I was on holiday for two weeks.

Right now I inclined to think Rob is so right.

[Lizziebaby]

OK, without getting too heavy on this, I had post natal depression after having my first child, only it took 12 months before it was diagnosed, so I know what it is like to feel 'down' on life...this was a very bleak period of my life, when it should have been one of the happiest. I was treated for this, and after a while things got better...there are times of my daughters first year that I don't remember because of what I went through, times I will never get back, and for which I will always feel sad.

So why am I telling you this? Rob, Keb, if you really think that life is that bad, please consider talking to someone, a doctor etc.. It took me ages to realise that feeling 'normal' was possible, and of course not every day is going to be a bed of roses, but it shouldn't be all bad either! :)

(((hugs))) for all those who need one right now

Liz x

[airhead]

Now listen Keb and Rob. Last week, I was lower than hell. I was miserable I was crying. I thought the world was gonna end. I mean music for gods sake wasn't the same and even isn't the same now!!!! I'm going through a depressive patch. If anyone knows about depression, its me. My nan and grandad, my second parents, the couple that half brought me up, taught me everything I know, I had to watch my nan suffer for five months, pain, boredom and unhappiness. And my grandad died a week before my birthday, and its never gonna be the same my life. But I am halfway through bringing myself out of depression cos I am strong and i inherited that off my nan. And You two are strong. I know it!!!!!! You can do it, I know you can. And I know you probably feel low. I know you probs feel like the worlds gonna end. But pull yourself out. Just make yourself do things and trust me, you'll be back out in no time. But see a doc or counsillor all the same. I didn't see any quacks because I am close to my mum adn she knows everything that happens in my life. Now come on, hugs, and a shoulder is always here.


just pm me if you need a talk.

[KebLou]

Depression is rubbish, and I hate it, I hate life its not worth it, I wish I had decent parents, I can wish for the whole world and none of it will ever come to me.

Liz- been to the doctors, she came up with a load of rubbish, something about SAD.

Airhead, my parents split up when I was 3 or 4 I know that seems like nothing, but even now everyone says that when something happens that I don't want to happen I act like I did when I was 2, and thats supposedly the only time I was happy, and I can totally believe it. Music hasn't been the same for years, and I thought Meat made it better but I don't know anymore. Some days I just wish I won't wake up in the morning, and no one seems to understand that.

Anyway I have said too much, and I need to get on and do stuff.

[dottie]

Hi to everyone who needs that 'Love and Support', believe me at my age you've been there, suffered it, had a lot of pain in your life, often thought this life is shit, and want to be rid of life its self, but this is all a part of a major plan making you the kind of person you are, helping you to understand that life does go on, although at the time, you have no wish to come through the dark periods in your life.

During my 54 years on this earth, I have been bounced from pillar to post for 17 of those years, by parents who didn't give a shit, and who preferred to farm me out to childrens homes, and foster homes, never ever giving a thought to how myself and my brother and sister were coping and growing up. At the age of 18 I finally became free but still my previous life hung onto me like a leech, I was totally unprepared for the real world, didn't trust anyone or anything, all I had in this world, was my music and sense of humour.

To anyone out there I send so much Love and Hugs........................

I went onto to marry a fine man we only had 14 years together, before he was taken, with two of our babies, how shit was that? At that time even though I had my daughter, I didn't feel I had a reason for living. I went through the motions. Thought God was punishing me for something I'd done, my upbringing had made me feel like this, completely worthless.


A few years later I re-married and welcomed a new man and son into my life, my whole life has turned around over the past 22 years, but it has taken nearly a life time, I'm trying to help those of you to understand that the answers do not come easy, life doesn't change overnight, sometimes sorrow and pain live with you for a very long time, sometimes years, but you get there in the end, and when you look back, in a strange kind of a way, you know why you are so strong now, because you had experienced so much in your 'previous life' that this new life of yours with its richness of love, etc., becomes the building block of your future, Your Self and Your Importance in this World.

[Rob The Badger]

" if you have five seconds to spare
Then I'll tell you the story of my life :
Sixteen, clumsy and shy ".

There's a large part of me that knows my life is beleaguered by problems that are miniscule in comparison to what some of you have lived through. And I doubt I'm intelligent enough to articulate what I'm trying to say in a comprehensible manner, but I shall try.
About two years ago I went on a hiking trip in the mountains of South Wales. A strange place to pick up the love for music I carry today, but there it happened.
However, it was there also where I realised that there is no possible way to be happy around the people in this world. They're greedy and selfish and corrupt.
I limped on slowly. . .I turned to spiritualism and ended up denouncing God instead of welcoming Him. The only thing I have is myself. Which isn't saying much.
So I linger slowly. And I can't see any possible sign that the future will be a place I want to live in. I don't think I'm clinically depressed. I think I'm sad. Just horribly, horribly sad. I have a role model. Someone who guides me through day after day, but he'll wear thin and die soon enough.
So why, carry on a pointless, monotonous, dredge of a life. In the midst of life we are in death, etc.

[CarolM]

Dottie i know how you feel hun :( ,in some parts ,i was drastically put into care in Wales for seven years :( which was seven years of hell for me :( i missed my parents terribly :( but later found out it was my dearest father who sent me there :sad: but i wont go on, i left the home because i was getting beat up by the headmaster :( which i told my parents :( and i at last got outta there only to find :( so many years later we had a pheadophile for a housefather :( half of my male friends in that school ended up committing suicide :cry: i dont want any sympathy honestlly im just tellin you : :( but if life is so shit :( how shit can it be for this to happen the people you put your trust in to care for you :( it makes me so mad :evil: the worst of it is Rob i never got to say goodbye to any of them, :cry: also all he got for this when convicted was 3 soddin years , :cry: for the lives he took of my best friends, :cry: friends who confided in me , :( but never said to me anything zbout this, :( i wish they had maybe they would still be alive :( anyway all im trying to say is, out there there is someone worse off than you. :cry: beleive me its true. :wink:

[Chris]

I have now read this thread and would say to the people who post that life is not worth living or that in life you are dying to never give up.

I have been there and done that.

I was married at 21 and was married less than 12 hours before i tragically lost the only person i have every truly loved.

I had been through the gamut of emotions from A-Z. From buying the pills and vodka through to spending two hours writing notes to loved ones and i would say that whatever you are going through you need to talk to someone. nothing is so big or personal that you must go through it alone. i tried that and it does not work. Talk to someone. You may not feel it helps but trust me it does.

Chris

<edited - got my age wrong!!!>

[Ageing Bat]

Rob, Keb, Airhead - a word of advice - listen to what Dottie, Mrs Mouse, Chris and Lizziebaby have to say. Read their words again. These courageous, lovely people have shared something deeply personal with you in an effort to help you realise that yes, life can be utterly crap for a lot of it, but there are good times too. What makes the difference is finding good honest people to help you through the bad times. I truly belive that here you've found some of the best.

My life? It's been incredibly hard at times. Something happened in my childhood that effected me for an incredibly long time into adulthood. Then, after my first marriage broke up, my ex-husband abducted my children - that's what put things into real perspective. My children are the most precious people in my life, and with the support of the man who became my second husband, we found them and got them back through the courts. It made me realise so many things, but most importantly, I found an inner strength I never knew I had. I'd been a victim for so long, and made a mental decision that enough is enough - the end result is who I now am.

My husband and I fostered my cousin for 2 years - her two brothers also lived with members of the family during that time, as their mother was (and unfortunately still is) an alcoholic. My broader family (grandparents, aunts, uncles etc) are an incredible support network, something we all realise we are lucky to have. During our time as foster parents we helped my cousin through every possible emotion, and supported her through counselling which helped tremendously. She came out the other side a lovely young lady.

Today? Yes, the crap still seems to fall from a great height, but with help from friends and family it doesn't seem so bad. What surprises me most is that I now get on better with my ex-husband than I ever did when we were married, and I now class him as a very dear friend. Why? Because life's far too short, you only get one chance. Make the most of what you have - trust me, it's better than you think!

[DIZZY DRUMMER]

Aging Bat Wrote:

Rob, Keb, Airhead - a word of advice - listen to what Dottie, Mrs Mouse, Chris and Lizziebaby have to say. Read their words again. These courageous, lovely people have shared something deeply personal with you in an effort to help you realise that yes, life can be utterly crap for a lot of it, but there are good times too. What makes the difference is finding good honest people to help you through the bad times. I truly belive that here you've found some of the best.

Bat - you too are very courageous. I have been wondering about replying to this - didn't know if I wanted to have my dark side on show for all to see - but you lot have imspired me to do so.

Live - unfortunetely is full of terrible things to contend with. I'm sure we all have horror stories we could tell.

I personally had a bad childhood (Dad violent). Witnessed two school friends die in RTA's - one was crushed under the wheels of a bus. However - the bigger thing for me was being raped twice - once as a teenager (by someone I Knew) the other as an adult (Stranger)
All of these leave mental & physical scars. Yes - I have bad times & the nightmares still exist - but NOW I know that I can get through it. I have a brilliant husband who is very supportive - we've been married 21 yrs - he's got me through some really low spots. In fact if it wasn't for him & my daughter & great mates - I would not be here today !!!!!!!!!!

Yes "SHIT" happens - but not every day of everyone's life is like that - SURELY 8O

I thank God every day that I am here now - good or bad. Some days are hard to deal with but just around the corner are great days - I look forward to them.

I did not tell or talk for years - it just eats you up inside & screws you up.

I have found some delightful people here that I can communicate with & trust. Like Chris said - Talk to someone - take it from me - IT HELPS

You all know the PM system - use it if you can - I'm sure there are people you know & trust to talk to - or a close friend/family member.

[dottie]

Finding my Way

For all of us............. and those to come......................

Finding my way in a world filled with darkness, wondering which way to go.
The light of hope has been diminished by time, dimming to just a dull glow.

I'm watching my back and listening closely, struggling through each moment.
Vainly clawing at the walls that surround me, not even making a dent.

Looking around and not seeing anything, "What is it I need to know?"
Around every corner surprises await, the tension begins to grow.

A light in the shadows, a guide for my soul, something to brighten the grey.
A path I can follow, the direction to go, someone to show me the way.

Finding my way in a world filled with darkness isn't as hard as you think.
Just grab a friend who will stay 'til the end, the dark will be gone in a blink.

[Ageing Bat]

FALLEN ANGEL1000:

I have found some delightful people here that I can communicate with & trust.

You're not wrong there Angel. We've shared many a 'deep' PM session about what happened to you, and what happened to me, along with another who experienced something similar. Together we really have helped and supported each other I think. I know it's really started me thinking about what's important in life now. I promised I'd back you all the way if you decided to 'go public', so here goes.....

My grandfather abused me as a child until he died when I was 12. It's impossible for me to tell my family (although I did tell my mum who, although she was shocked, has remained supportive since - she now understands why I was such an awkward teenager!). To tell my dad would devistate him - I love him far too much to inflict that kind of pain, and besides, what would it achieve? I didn't go to counselling - I wasn't aware it was available at that age, and anyway, I was far too ashamed. The shame has been the hardest thing to deal with I think.

I hope those reading these posts can appreciate just how deeply personal some of the revealations are, and how much inner strength the 'posters' have shown.

You're all amazing people, who I am honoured to count as friends.

[black dog]

FALLEN ANGEL1000:

I have found some delightful people here that I can communicate with & trust.

You're not wrong there Angel. We've shared many a 'deep' PM session about what happened to you, and what happened to me, along with another who experienced something similar. Together we really have helped and supported each other I think. I know it's really started me thinking about what's important in life now.

I have to agree with both of you. Talking to both of you is helping me come to terms with the abuse I suffered as a child. It has taken be years to find someone I could talk to. If it hadn't been for you two I wouldn't have felt able to post this. The shame I have felt over this has stopped me being able to talk about it.

Thank you both of you for your help and support.

Just remember that the most important bit of advice is to find someone you can talk to.

[Chris]

Life’s not a song.
Life isn’t bliss.
Life is just this.
It’s living.
You’ll get along.
The pain that you feel
You only can heal
By living.
You have to go on living.

[Rob The Badger]

The sun's shining. . .I think I'm going to go outside now. Um. . .thank you, you're all wonderful.

[airhead]

Rob, Keb, Airhead - a word of advice - listen to what Dottie, Mrs Mouse, Chris and Lizziebaby have to say. Read their words again. These courageous, lovely people have shared something deeply personal with you in an effort to help you realise that yes, life can be utterly crap for a lot of it, but there are good times too.

I know ageing bat. I picked myself up last week and I was upset because I never greived properly because I thought It was tough to do so. But I greived, I picked myself up and I make myself do stuff that is fun. Sure life ain't always a bed of roses, and nothing for me personally will never be the same. I mean music, how much i loved it a few months ago. I would kill just to have that love again. But it'll get better. in a few months i'll be my own self. And I learnt something too. Never think too much because the person who got too deep never came out again.

Rob, from your last post, that is your first step to getting happy again. You go my friend!!!!

And I know I'm an optimist. And I'm proud! :D

Oh yeah, heres an announcement. My friend and I are forming a duo. So make sure you buy our cds in a few years when we are famous!

[DIZZY DRUMMER]

Rob wrote:

The sun's shining. . .I think I'm going to go outside now. Um. . .thank you, you're all wonderful.

You go for it mate

So are you :wink:

[native texan]

[quote="airhead"
Rob, from your last post, that is your first step to getting happy again. You go my friend!!!! ![/quote]

You sound like you're well on your way, too, Airhead. And I'm happy for both you and Rob :D

[airhead]

thanks texan!!! I just lost my way in this crazy world, and I'm finding myself again. Thats all it is, and I am learning rollerskates, and I refuse to listen to miserable music anymore. I am happier in myself and actually joked all over the place today like i used to. I'm proud of myself, and I'm proud of rob. Go my friend and get Happy Rob!!!!

[angel eyes]

I have suffered many tragedies in my life. (I've often thought of writing a book but they would think it was fiction not fact)

It has taken a long time for me to come to terms with the fact that I not a useless waste of space and that I do possess some talents and that I do have things to offer.

I sympathise with everyone who feels down and depressed - but the world is not all bad there are some lovely people out there to offer help and support.

I hope everyone finds someone to talk to and someone to help and encourage them.

Lots of love to you all

Angelxxx