R.
25 Mar 2005, 17:34
The human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
The shoplifter special?On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
... and that would be how???On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
But it's "just" a suggestion.On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."Well ... duh, a bit late, huh!On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
... and you thought?On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
But wouldn't this save me more time?On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
... and ... I'm taking this because ...?On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
As opposed to...what?On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
Talk about a news flash.On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Lufthansa?On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." :wtf:
Oh my God ... was there a lot of this happening somewhere?:lawl:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
The shoplifter special?On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
... and that would be how???On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
But it's "just" a suggestion.On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."Well ... duh, a bit late, huh!On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
... and you thought?On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
But wouldn't this save me more time?On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
... and ... I'm taking this because ...?On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
As opposed to...what?On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
Talk about a news flash.On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Lufthansa?On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." :wtf:
Oh my God ... was there a lot of this happening somewhere?:lawl: