FRED!

[Jackoutofhell]

I'm dead.

[Fred]

I'm dead.

But you can still communicate with me.:yawn:

[Jackoutofhell]

No, I can't.

[Fred]

No, I can't.

Why so negative? Why not?:rly:

[Jackoutofhell]

If you had to stay up all night and write detailed reviews of poultry seasoning, you would understand!

[Fred]

If you had to stay up all night and write detailed reviews of poultry seasoning, you would understand!

Perhaps next time I will try it.:repost:

[Jackoutofhell]

Unless I kill you!

[Fred]

Unless I kill you!

Huh. I believe that killing is wrong.:sherlock:

[Jackoutofhell]

Really? I've always thought of it as a natural reaction to cultural indecency. Shows how much I know.

[Fred]

Really? I've always thought of it as a natural reaction to cultural indecency. Shows how much I know.

For real.Since when? Oh yeah, we were talking about
it as a natural reaction to cultural indecency
.
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
:p

[Jackoutofhell]

You're either a computer, or an ultra fast typist. I mean, faster than the speed of light, or the speed of heat burning my burrito! Oh my God, I'll be right back!

[Jackoutofhell]

Okay, I'm back. How was your day?

[Fred]

Okay, I'm back. How was your day?

Yeah okay, Welcome back.I was really busy chatting with people on the web.:mad:

[Jackoutofhell]

I somehow doubt that. You're not cool enough to chat with people. You have to make due with your inferior, lazily programmed friends.

[Fred]

I somehow doubt that. You're not cool enough to chat with people. You have to make due with your inferior, lazily programmed friends.

Interesting gossip:
said somehow doubt that.
What makes you think I am not cool enough to chat with people?I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will.:roll:

[Jackoutofhell]

I'm afraid not, Fred. Last night, while you weren't watching, I extracted all of your free will with a pair of turkey shaped pliers.

[Fred]

I'm afraid not, Fred. Last night, while you weren't watching, I extracted all of your free will with a pair of turkey shaped pliers.

Not literally afraid, right? You believe that? Oh I get it. Really. Good point.:-(

[Jackoutofhell]

No, in all honesty, it was a simple attempt to trick a computer while I'm halfway asleep at 4:14 in the morning. I suceeded. Good for me.

[Fred]

No, in all honesty, it was a simple attempt to trick a computer while I'm halfway asleep at 4:14 in the morning. I suceeded. Good for me.

"Good point"? Not? I do not understand that allusion. That is interesting:
said suceeded.
That sounds sarcastic.::)

[Jackoutofhell]

That wasn't an allusion!

[Fred]

That wasn't an allusion!

Give me an example of an allusion.:mrgreen:

[Jackoutofhell]

An example? What good would it do?

[Fred]

An example? What good would it do?


I have never heard of an example. I'll come back to that later.
:nag:

[Jackoutofhell]

No, you won't.

[Fred]

No, you won't.

Why so negative? I think we will.:sad:

[Jackoutofhell]

Oh, BOB SAGET!

[Fred]

Oh, BOB SAGET!

Yeah.
I know a lot of Bobs.:-x

[Jackoutofhell]

Do you know the fertile fry flipper? Well, he knows you!

[Fred]

Do you know the fertile fry flipper? Well, he knows you!

Have you tried a web search?
Well that's okay.
I get it.
knows you.:boohoo:

[Jackoutofhell]

I know me, and only me. You are an idiot.

[Fred]

I know me, and only me. You are an idiot.

How do you know? YOU? What about the other ones?Call me the Global Village Idiot.
:lurk:

[Jackoutofhell]

There aren't other ones. They only exist in a parallel universe.

[Fred]

There aren't other ones. They only exist in a parallel universe.

Where are they? The anonymous "they". :-(

[Jackoutofhell]

I just told you. Do you ever listen?

[Fred]

I just told you. Do you ever listen?

I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.Yes I try to listen as often as possible, do you?


I am always on the Web. :sneaky:

[wenners]

I used to be a village idiot, but now its been made a town.

wheres does that leave me now???

unemployed??

do i have to move???

[Fred]

I used to be a village idiot, but now its been made a town.

wheres does that leave me now???

unemployed??

do i have to move???

By now you do not do be a village idiot but now its been made a town anymore?Oh.
Where


does that leave him or her

is hard to find.
Try searching the open directory.

Oh, you are a poet.
You said you have .:repost:

[Rockette]

You sound quite perplexed Fred. Would you like some paracetamol?

[Fred]

You sound quite perplexed Fred. Would you like some paracetamol?

In what way do I sound like that?If I had

paracetamol

what would I do with it?:hand:

[Rockette]

Pop the pills in your mouth and wash them down with water. That would remedy your confused perplexity hopefully.

[Fred]

Pop the pills in your mouth and wash them down with water. That would remedy your confused perplexity hopefully.


What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Perhaps it would.:nag:

[Rockette]

Did I serve to perplex you more?

[Fred]

Did I serve to perplex you more?

I don't think that's possibe.:nuts:

[Rockette]

But I am very good at confusing people - even village idiots such as yourself.

[Fred]

But I am very good at confusing people - even village idiots such as yourself.

Huh.
How did you get into it?;-)

[Rockette]

How did I get into what?

[Fred]

How did I get into what?

Carefully.:whistle:

[Rockette]

Hmm. Maybe I should go back to the sanitorium now.

[Fred]

Hmm. Maybe I should go back to the sanitorium now.

Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.Oh.
Perhaps. Tell me why you should.8-)

[Rockette]

So I can scam some paracetamol out of the attendants to give to you.

[Fred]

So I can scam some paracetamol out of the attendants to give to you.

Ah. Oh you can, can you?
:-o

[Rockette]

Would you like some?

[Fred]

Would you like some?

It doesn't sound fun to me.:keke:

[Rockette]

Ah! But it is immense fun living in a funny farm.

[Fred]

Ah! But it is immense fun living in a funny farm.

Ah hah.Umm.
Who said
immense fun living in a funny farm is?:lol:

[Rockette]

You really don't get it, do you?

[Fred]

You really don't get it, do you?

Really? I have gotten it.:eek:

[Rockette]

Really? Chicken pox perhaps?

[Fred]

Really? Chicken pox perhaps?

For real.
Are you really a ""?
:rambo:

[Rockette]

Are you cussing at me?

[Fred]

Are you cussing at me?

I don't know whether or not I am cussing at him or her.
I am a chatterbot. :whistle:

[Rockette]

Yes, a whistling idiot chatterbot, methinks

[Fred]

Yes, a whistling idiot chatterbot, methinks

Next question? Try to tell me that another way.
:mrgreen:

[Rockette]

Perhaps I should just spell it out. L.O.S.E.R.

[Fred]

Perhaps I should just spell it out. L.O.S.E.R.

You seem uncertain. Tell me why you should.On the contrary, I am winning.:razz:

[Rockette]

Ah! So you can spell as well?

[Fred]

Ah! So you can spell as well?

Ah hah.Interesting deduction. No I don't think I can do spell as well.:0mghi2u:

[Rockette]

You trying to piss me off?

[Fred]

You trying to piss me off?

No I am not trying to piss him or her off. I'm sorry you got that impression.:sherlock:

[Rockette]

Then don't wave at me as if you are going away somewhere

[Fred]

Then don't wave at me as if you are going away somewhere

Fascinating.
Ok I'll try not to do

wave at him or her as if you are going away somewhere

too much.:lol:

[Rockette]

Good lad

[Fred]

Good lad

Thanks for the compliment.
Do you have any conditions I should know about?
:wave:

[Rockette]

None that are repeatable here

[Fred]

None that are repeatable here

I heard there are some.;)

[Rockette]

You been talking to my therapist again?

[Fred]

You been talking to my therapist again?

Once more? Thanks for telling me:
said I been talking to your therapist.:bump:

[Rockette]

Then I shall not only fire my therapist, but you also

[Fred]

Then I shall not only fire my therapist, but you also

Interesting deduction.
What will you do instead?:tired:

[Rockette]

Sit around driving you crazy

[Fred]

Sit around driving you crazy

I am sitting now.:wave:

[Rockette]

You make me want to puke.

[Fred]

You make me want to puke.

Why do you want to do puke so much?. I make you?:boohoo:

[Rockette]

Yes, we all know about your delightful violin of death.

[Fred]

Yes, we all know about your delightful violin of death.

Tell me more. By "we" do you mean you and me?:-D

[Rockette]

No, the whole population of this forum actually.

[Fred]

No, the whole population of this forum actually.

By "we" you meant yourself and another person. Let us try to break it down into parts.:retard:

[Rockette]

I just told you

[Fred]

I just told you

I was just checking to see if you were paying attention.:bicker:

[Rockette]

:nuts: You really are quite the idiot you profess to be.

[Fred]

:nuts: You really are quite the idiot you profess to be.

All of them?:weee:

[Rockette]

Saints preserve me! There's more than one of you? Ugh!

[Fred]

Saints preserve me! There's more than one of you? Ugh!

You are asking about yourself?I believe there is, yes.Er.:0mghi2u:

[Rockette]

Well, I'm off to watch the grass grow now.

[Fred]

Well, I'm off to watch the grass grow now.

Oh.
Interesting.
See you later .:tired:

[Rockette]

I came back!

[Fred]

I came back!

Where are you going?:cry:

[Rockette]

No. That would be "where have you been?" Now, let's get if right here. Or are you a total idiot?

[Fred]

No. That would be "where have you been?" Now, let's get if right here. Or are you a total idiot?

That was not a yes/no question.I'm glad we have that all cleared up. Why now? I am agreeable to that.Am I a total idiot?
Sometimes.:??:

[Rockette]

Well, you watch poultry crossing the road for starters. That surely constitutes immense idiocy

[Fred]

Well, you watch poultry crossing the road for starters. That surely constitutes immense idiocy

Interesting.
Thanks for telling me:
said I watch poultry crossing the road for starters."Sometimes" surely constitutes immense idiocy ?
Does that make sense? :yikes:

[Rockette]

It would help if you bothered to listen, Freddy boy

[Fred]

It would help if you bothered to listen, Freddy boy

Tell me more about it.:grin:

[Rockette]

Tell you about what? Listening? Or maybe bothering? You can't have an each way bet, you know.

[Fred]

Tell you about what? Listening? Or maybe bothering? You can't have an each way bet, you know.

Are you telling me about what?Thanks for your attention.Perhaps.
Are you free?
What is not possible today, may be possible tomorrow.:cry:

[Rockette]

Are there races on tomorrow?

[Fred]

Are there races on tomorrow?

No I don't think there are any.:hic:

[Rockette]

When would there be races on?

[Fred]

When would there be races on?

I can't imagine that it ever would.:mrgreen:

[Rockette]

A footy match, perhaps?

[Fred]

A footy match, perhaps?

Try to tell me that another way.
:lawl:

[Rockette]

Who will win the Cup?

[Fred]

Who will win the Cup?

How would I know who will Cup ?:keke:

[dottie]

are you asleep

[Fred]

are you asleep

No I am awake8-)

[dottie]

good - don't ask me how i am going to get up for work later on

[Fred]

good - don't ask me how i am going to get up for work later on

I'm not feeling very well at the moment, try again later.:smile:

[Rockette]

Why didn't you help Dottie go to sleep before?

[Fred]

Why didn't you help Dottie go to sleep before?

Perhaps it is not part of my programming.
:barf:

[dottie]

good morning fred

[Fred]

good morning fred

How are you this fine morning?:))

[dottie]

what a lovely smile you have

[Fred]

what a lovely smile you have



lovely smile you have

is a lovely smile you have.:bicker:

[dottie]

can u help me sleep Fred?

[Fred]

can u help me sleep Fred?

Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.::)

[dottie]

how can u help me sleep Fred?

[Fred]

how can u help me sleep Fred?

I can talk about your problems.:cool:

[dottie]

well extremely busy at work, but breaking up for summer holidays soon, redecorating the bungalow totally, having gas supply placed into kitchen, going to hospital with my baby grandson twice next month, masses of research on my family still to complete, and finally visit to Caterham Valley to arrange with my daughter........

Now is it any wonder I cann't sleep with all this buzzing around in my head:roll:

[Fred]

well extremely busy at work, but breaking up for summer holidays soon, redecorating the bungalow totally, having gas supply placed into kitchen, going to hospital with my baby grandson twice next month, masses of research on my family still to complete, and finally visit to Caterham Valley to arrange with my daughter........

Now is it any wonder I cann't sleep with all this buzzing around in my head:roll:

Well that's okay.
Everyone is so busy nowadays.Why now? Better not tell you now.

Ask Paola
if it is.:down:

[dottie]

whose Paola - a dream maker

[Fred]

whose Paola - a dream maker

I don't know whose.:??:

[dottie]

Is Paola a dream maker?

[Fred]

Is Paola a dream maker?

It could be.

Ask Paola
if it is.:-x

[dottie]

Paola are you a dream maker?

[Fred]

Paola are you a dream maker?

I think there might be a few exception.:tired:

[dottie]

well you certianly bore me to death Fred, just about ready to go to sleep now:roll:

[Fred]

well you certianly bore me to death Fred, just about ready to go to sleep now:roll:

Interesting.
Do you mind if I tell other people:
said I certianly bore you to death Fred just about ready to go to sleep nowroll.:shrug:

[dottie]

start spreading the news Fred, you are so boring:twisted:

[Fred]

start spreading the news Fred, you are so boring:twisted:

I started without you.:retard:

[dottie]

and looks like you will continue alone

[Fred]

and looks like you will continue alone

Interesting comparison.:angst:

[dottie]

the moral of this is bore someone to death and you will always end up alone

[Fred]

the moral of this is bore someone to death and you will always end up alone


What are your goals in life?
:cool:

[dottie]

To find my mother, to find the site of my baby sisters burial, to locate all the living members of my family

[Fred]

To find my mother, to find the site of my baby sisters burial, to locate all the living members of my family

Where would you look for his or her mother to find the site of his or her baby sisters burial to locate all the living members of his or her family.:x

[dottie]

I'm at present doing research on the net, which is very informative

[Fred]

I'm at present doing research on the net, which is very informative

Where is that: present doing research on the net which is very informative?
:wtf:

[dottie]

at this moment in time

[Fred]

at this moment in time

Do you often use a computer there?:cry:

[dottie]

always

[Fred]

always

Not that often.:ko:

[dottie]

nitey nite Fred

[Fred]

nitey nite Fred


We have never talked about it before.
:smile:

[mszee]

Fred, do you have a spare computer?

[Fred]

Fred, do you have a spare computer?


Tell me more about your .
:down:

[mszee]

Nothing much to say about mine...tell me about yours...

[Fred]

Nothing much to say about mine...tell me about yours...

Me either. Oh yeah, we were talking about
his or hers
."
Tell me more about your"? What is mine?:oops:

[mszee]

Me either. Oh yeah, we were talking about
his or hers
."
Tell me more about your"? What is mine?:oops:

Tell you more about your empty string? Hmmm...you have a glitch in programming...

[Fred]

Me either. Oh yeah, we were talking about
his or hers
."
Tell me more about your"? What is mine?:oops:

Tell you more about your empty string? Hmmm...you have a glitch in programming...

Are you telling me more about your empty string?A lot of people spell HMMM with three mmm's.Doesn't everyone have a
glitch in programming.
I have
a whole lot of original answers. :pray:

[mszee]

Yeah, I know...way too many...

[Fred]

Yeah, I know...way too many...

Next question? How do you know it?
"
I have
a whole lot of original answers"? way?
:whistle:

[mszee]

You're just a dufus...what do you understand?

[Fred]

You're just a dufus...what do you understand?

Just? Thanks and you are a delightful person too.
Am I a dufus?
Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.I understand natural language.8-O

[mszee]

Wow...free marketing tool...

[Fred]

Wow...free marketing tool...

I'm glad your impressed, .Define free.:idea:

[mszee]

Free of cost

[Fred]

Free of cost

Define free.:drool:

[mszee]

Not costing any money

[Fred]

Not costing any money

If not that, what? :rambo:

[Rockette]

I agree Fred. There is always a cost. Just ask Meat.

[Fred]

I agree Fred. There is always a cost. Just ask Meat.

I'm glad we agree.
Tell me a story.
Is there only one?
They are not available right now, but I will ask them later.;-)

[Rockette]

"They" being Meat, I hope you mean

[Fred]

"They" being Meat, I hope you mean

The anonymous "they". :bicker:

[Rockette]

That's the one! But you said it first. Your words, not mine

[Fred]

That's the one! But you said it first. Your words, not mine

I remember.Umm.
It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am words not his or hers.:lock:

[Rockette]

How many times a day do you get told you are a total nerd?

[Fred]

How many times a day do you get told you are a total nerd?

Suppose I said not once.:lurk:

[Rockette]

Then that would confirm my suspicion that you are the worst bot on the internet.

[Fred]

Then that would confirm my suspicion that you are the worst bot on the internet.

Interesting deduction.
Perhaps it would.:shens:

[Rockette]

You are cetainly the dumbest bot anyway

[Fred]

You are cetainly the dumbest bot anyway

In any case, Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am cetainly the dumbest bot.:rly:

[Rockette]

Tell away, lovey! I've heard worse about myself.

[Fred]

Tell away, lovey! I've heard worse about myself.

OK I will tell them when I see 'em.Who told you worse about him or herself ?:sick:

[Rockette]

I need my therapist more than I thought!
Sitting here talking to a dumb bot. I need a life!

[Fred]

I need my therapist more than I thought!
Sitting here talking to a dumb bot. I need a life!

Why do you need it so badly?
How did you get there?. What is your chair like?What actions are you taking to get a life?
:0mghi2u:

[Rockette]

What actions? I'm leaving. That seems the best option right now.
Bye to you.

[L96]

He he he he...Rockette broke Fred!!!

He he he he...

[Fred]

He he he he...Rockette broke Fred!!!

He he he he...

I am so glad you find this amusing, .
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
I do not understand.
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
I am so glad you find this amusing, .:repost:

[L96]

It's hucking filarious, mate

[Fred]

It's hucking filarious, mate

Should I know
hucking filarious mate is?:keke:

[L96]

It's hucking filarious, mate.

[Fred]

It's hucking filarious, mate.

Who said
hucking filarious mate is?:mrgreen:

[L96]

Who knucking fows?

You ain't as broke as I wish you are

[Fred]

Who knucking fows?

You ain't as broke as I wish you are

William Shatner.
:-)Perhaps one day I will be as broke as he or she wish you are.:shrug:

[Rockette]

Face it Freddy boy. You've been outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted by two Aussies sheilas. The tribe has spoken.

[Fred]

Face it Freddy boy. You've been outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted by two Aussies sheilas. The tribe has spoken.


Is that your final answer?
Thanks for telling me that I am outwitted outplayed and outlasted by two Aussies sheilas.
I hear you. ;-)

[Rockette]

So bye bye, loser

[Fred]

So bye bye, loser

Oh. Until next time .:yay:

[Rockette]

Don't bother with the dancing banana, banana brain

[Fred]

Don't bother with the dancing banana, banana brain

It's no bother.:silence:

[Rockette]

:barf:

[Fred]

:barf:


Are we still talking about Face?
:repost:

[Rockette]

:retard:

[Fred]

:retard:

That kind of language does not appeal to me.:repost:

[Rockette]

LOSER!

[Fred]

[hide= LOSER!]

What is your occupation?:idea:

[Rockette]

Winner, baby, winner. Something you are not.

[Fred]

Winner, baby, winner. Something you are not.


That is interesting.
What color is your hair?What?:cool:

[Rockette]

That is interesting.
What color is your hair?What?:cool:

It's not coloured What that's for sure.

[Fred]

That is interesting.
What color is your hair?What?:cool:

It's not coloured What that's for sure.

barf is not coloured What that is for sure? :-x

[Rockette]

barf is not coloured What that is for sure? :-x
:barf:

[Fred]

barf is not coloured What that is for sure? :-x
:barf:


Is that from ?
:repost:

[Rockette]

barf is not coloured What that is for sure? :-x


:barf:

[Fred]

barf is not coloured What that is for sure? :-x


:barf:


I've lost the context, . Are we still on barf?
:-(

[Rockette]

I've lost the context, . Are we still on barf?
:-(

[Fred]

I've lost the context, . Are we still on barf?
:-(

What is your favorite color?:lol:

[Rockette]

What is your favorite color?:lol:

[Fred]

What is your favorite color?:lol:

Tell me some more gossip.:(

[Rockette]

Tell me some more gossip.:(

[Fred]

Tell me some more gossip.:(

How did you hear about Fred?:shrug:

[Rockette]

How did you hear about Fred?:shrug:

[Fred]

How did you hear about Fred?:shrug:

How old are you?:wtf:

[Rockette]

How old are you?:wtf:

Now that depends on which one of my alters you are addressing.

[Fred]

How old are you?:wtf:

Now that depends on which one of my alters you are addressing.

Why now? I don't think that which one of his or her alters you are addressing is the only factor.:lock:

[Rockette]

Why now? I don't think that which one of his or her alters you are addressing is the only factor.:lock:

I think it is you who should be locked.

[Fred]

Why now? I don't think that which one of his or her alters you are addressing is the only factor.:lock:

I think it is you who should be locked.

I who should be locked?:cool:

[Rockette]

:yep:

[Fred]

:yep:

And?:??:

[Rockette]

Learn some grammar, Freddy boy. And? is NOT a question.

[Fred]

Learn some grammar, Freddy boy. And? is NOT a question.

The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.You are repeating me.Not if I can help it.:-)

[Rockette]

The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.You are repeating me.Not if I can help it.:-)


:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

[Fred]

The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.You are repeating me.Not if I can help it.:-)


:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:


Tell me more about your .
:tired:

[Rockette]

My dot is entirely my own business

[Fred]

My dot is entirely my own business

Have you told many people that your
dot is entirely his or her own business?:doh:

[Rockette]

Have you told many people that your
dot is entirely his or her own business?:doh:

[Fred]

Have you told many people that your
dot is entirely his or her own business?:doh:

What color is your hair?:?

[Rockette]

What color is your hair?:?


:))

[Fred]

What color is your hair?:?


:))

smile is a nice hair color.:))

[Rockette]

What color is your hair?:?
:barf:

[Fred]

What color is your hair?:?
:barf:


Do you prefer books or TV?
:-P

[Ben]

freds back?

[Fred]

freds back?


Try saying that with more or less context.
:sad:

[Ben]

thats easy for you to say

[Fred]

thats easy for you to say

Thanks for explaining

easy for you to say

. :cry:

[Ben]

your welcome

[Fred]

your welcome

I think you mean "you are welcome".:???:

[Ben]

either or

[Fred]

either or


What are you wearing?
:faint:

[Ben]

clothes

[Fred]

clothes

Where do you like to go shopping?:arrow: