Dam funny

[The Flying Mouse]

:twisted: :mrgreen: (http://www.avgeorge.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/vg/Dam.pdf)

[Monstro]

:twisted: :mrgreen: (http://www.avgeorge.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/vg/Dam.pdf)

what is????????????

[Monstro]

:twisted: :mrgreen: (http://www.avgeorge.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/vg/Dam.pdf)

Or have you been away for so long that we have to figure out what the attachment is that you've forgotten to attach?????

[Monstro]

******, just found it

[The Flying Mouse]

what is????????????


:twisted: Click him ----> :mrgreen: (http://www.avgeorge.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/vg/Dam.pdf)

[The Flying Mouse]

what is????????????

Or have you been away for so long that we have to figure out what the attachment is that you've forgotten to attach?????

******, just found it


:twisted: You just trying to "up" your postcount ain't you dude? :bleh:

[Monstro]

and it wouldn't load lol

[The Flying Mouse]

and it wouldn't load lol


:twisted: DAM



:mrgreen: :p

[Monstro]

lol

[SW31]

dam funny

[Monstro]

nope, still won't load

[mszee]

Oh...funny...this is kinda an old joke...guess they have decided to post it on the Net finally...

[mszee]

Michael, this is a content:

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the
Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania.
The guy's response is hilarious, but make sure you read the State's letter,
here, first before you get to the response letter.
The Dam
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent
unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and
maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.
A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued. Therefore, the
Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of
the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain
event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are
inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and
desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all
wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed
no later than January 31, 2006.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection
may be scheduled by our staff.
Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on! the site may result in this
case being referred for elevated enforcement action.
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me
at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/05 has been handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner
but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane, Trout Run, Pennsylvania.
A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood
"debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor
supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skilful use of
natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate
their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way
you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam
persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit
prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers.
(2) Or do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information
Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been
issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams,
of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being
sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
I have several concerns. My first concern is; aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The
Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the
State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one
or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural
occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the
Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling their dam names.
If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if
you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being
unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long
as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than
I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment
(Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated
enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2006? The Spring Pond Beavers may be
under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them
then.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem
in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.
If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where
they dump!
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam
answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
THANK YOU.
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

[Monstro]

Yep, was funny.

Cheers Zina

[mszee]

Whatcha have in that glass by the way...anything good? I am talking about your avatar...

[Monstro]

Whisky & coke (+ice)

[mszee]

Can you throw one over? Sounds good???

[Monstro]

Throw one over?????? Not even if there was a fire that needed putting out!!!!

I'll pass one lol

[mszee]

You have very long arms...do you?

[Monstro]

Just a good courier service

[mszee]

Hey...I will be there in less than 2 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You'll get your chance to buy me a drink...

[Monstro]

BUY???????????

Breathe Michael, breathe!!!!!!

[mszee]

Well, let's see...how about we make out own makeshift e-bay out of the pub where we're going?

Would you feel better then? More at home?

[Monstro]

God don't ever let me in a pub that lets me bid on whisky and pay with Paypal!!!!!

[mszee]

God don't ever let me in a pub that lets me bid on whisky and pay with Paypal!!!!!

Hey...what a cool idea...here's your idea of an original and profitable self-owned business for today...and don't say now that I've never given you anything...

[Monstro]

I'd be skint in three days

[mszee]

No, you will be the one who is a proprietor...unless you want to bid on your own merchandise....then...you know...you need some help...