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View Full Version : Things not to say to a police officer ...

R.
09 Apr 2007, 19:56
Here, you can finish this beer for me ... I've got five more! :p
mszee
09 Apr 2007, 21:04
So what that I was driving with a speed limit of 90 MPH...YOU were driving much faster!!!
Betty
09 Apr 2007, 21:25
What? Speed limit of 50mph?
Yeah sure, for each passenger! And I´ve got two of them!
mszee
09 Apr 2007, 21:25
Can I hold your gun while you're writing up that ticket?
Wario
09 Apr 2007, 21:34
I'm BTK
snowy
09 Apr 2007, 22:29
Why do you want me to blow into the bag - are your chips too hot!!!!????
snowy
09 Apr 2007, 22:33
Does your head go all the way to the top of that hat???
snowy
09 Apr 2007, 22:34
Is that your truncheon or are you just pleased to see me?????
snowy
09 Apr 2007, 22:34
Is it a real emergency or are you late for your tea break???
Chris
09 Apr 2007, 22:37
There is a certain forum member sitting over there *points* who will confirm that when detained in the capital, the best thing to say might not be a rousing rendition of "Maybe it's because I'm a Londoner"
mszee
09 Apr 2007, 22:37
Can I buy you a donut??? *wink wink*
Monstro
09 Apr 2007, 23:06
So now I know who put the cont in constable
Wario
09 Apr 2007, 23:58
are you a fireman?
daveake
10 Apr 2007, 00:07
Of course I don't know what speed I was doing. How can I watch the road and the speedo when I'm this drunk?
samurai7
10 Apr 2007, 06:02
I'm drunk?! Thank f*ck for that - I thought my steering was knackered!
mszee
10 Apr 2007, 12:21
My wife fell out of the car 2 miles ago? Thank goodness...I thought I went deaf!!!
Lord Kagan
10 Apr 2007, 21:55
Oink
tinkerbell
11 Apr 2007, 00:20
can i just finish this call:cool:
Chris
11 Apr 2007, 00:22
Of course i don't know how fast i was going. The needle stops at 130.
Chris
11 Apr 2007, 00:23
Oi mate, just remember my taxes pay your salary.
mszee
11 Apr 2007, 01:14
And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy.
mszee
11 Apr 2007, 01:14
That uniform makes your ass look really big.
tinkerbell
11 Apr 2007, 02:03
Do you smell pig shite?
mszee
11 Apr 2007, 02:04
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
tinkerbell
11 Apr 2007, 02:44
Do u fancy a race?:shock:
SW31
12 Apr 2007, 02:09
due to nature of work can't comment but know a few crazy ones
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 02:29
Too bad then...

You just try to give me a ticket! Hell, I don't even have a license. Now who's dumb?
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 03:07
Oops...this is the fake one...sorry...here...this is the real one...
AndyK
12 Apr 2007, 12:53
My ex ran off with a policeman, and when I saw you chasing me with your blue light flashing, I thought you were bringing her back.
RadioMaster
12 Apr 2007, 13:33
2 Big Mac, french fries and large coke, please :))
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 15:08
Can you come back in 5 minutes? I'm in the middle of a telephone conversation...
Hypnobabe
12 Apr 2007, 18:04
Damn... why did you have to stop me? I was just about to break my fastest ever time...
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 18:27
I wasn't offering you money as a police woman...I honestly thought you were a prostitute...
RadioMaster
12 Apr 2007, 18:42
Oh, shut the f'ck up!
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 18:48
So...my bumper sticker says...Kill the pigs!!!

So?

I am a farmer...
RadioMaster
12 Apr 2007, 18:53
Oh come on, get a real uniform and then talk to me again!
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 18:55
I have some HOT goods in the trunk...wanna some??? *wink* *wink*
The Flying Mouse
12 Apr 2007, 21:29
:twisted: Yeah? Your mother.
RadioMaster
12 Apr 2007, 22:19
come up to the lab, and see what's on the slab :eyebrows:
AndyK
12 Apr 2007, 22:45
oink!
The Flying Mouse
12 Apr 2007, 22:46
:twisted: Badges?

We don't need no steenking badges.


(this must be said in a very bad Mexican accent :wink: )
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 23:14
Do I have any fruits or vegetables?

I don't know.

Is cocaine a fruit or a vegetable?
RadioMaster
12 Apr 2007, 23:21
hey, arent you the guy I saw at the crack dealer last night?
mszee
12 Apr 2007, 23:23
Of course I was speeding, you idiot. My license was revoked, I'm on parole, and I've got 10 pounds of heroin in the wheel well!
RadioMaster
12 Apr 2007, 23:25
what? could you repeat that? I'm so f'cking high I didnt understand you...
The Flying Mouse
13 Apr 2007, 01:43
:twisted: SCREW THE LAW, AND SCREW YOU TOO.
Monstro
13 Apr 2007, 04:03
I shot the sheriff
RadioMaster
13 Apr 2007, 12:37
oh f'ck, could you please hide my weed?
Monstro
13 Apr 2007, 12:50
That's my dope, buy your own!!!!
RadioMaster
13 Apr 2007, 13:20
how much would I have to pay if I'd call you a ****ing ****er?
The Flying Mouse
13 Apr 2007, 13:53
:twisted: I PAY YOUR WAGES DAMNIT :bicker:
mszee
13 Apr 2007, 15:15
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
samurai7
13 Apr 2007, 22:07
I'm not as thunk as you drink I am nociffer... :?
mszee
13 Apr 2007, 22:25
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
mszee
03 May 2007, 01:28
What do you mean the speed limit is in kilometers??? :shock:
Monstro
03 May 2007, 01:32
Listen you jumped up Muppet, get a real job and leave us poor folk alone!!!!!!

If you want to take this further you jobsworth idiot my name is Andy King and I live at............
mszee
03 May 2007, 01:43
Listen you jumped up Muppet, get a real job and leave us poor folk alone!!!!!!

If you want to take this further you jobsworth idiot my name is Andy King and I live at............

OH this is funny...I can't wait to see you two interracting in real life...
mszee
03 May 2007, 01:46
Wow, You look just like the guy in the picture on my girlfriend's nightstand
Monstro
03 May 2007, 01:46
We're drinking together May 12th, could be an interesting evening lol
mszee
03 May 2007, 01:49
We're drinking together May 12th, could be an interesting evening lol

Sorry I won't be there...would love to be a fly on the wall...well, 23rd is another day, eh?
mszee
03 May 2007, 01:53
Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
AndyK
03 May 2007, 01:55
We're drinking together May 12th, could be an interesting evening lol

Assuming of course that you are met at the railway station you haven't told me you're arriving at yet ...
mszee
03 May 2007, 01:56
Assuming of course that you are met at the railway station you haven't told me you're arriving at yet ...

Oh don't tell me you're still going to meet him after all this abuse he heaped on you in the last few days??? :shock:
mszee
03 May 2007, 01:59
Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
AndyK
03 May 2007, 02:00
Oh don't tell me you're still going to meet him after all this abuse he heaped on you in the last few days??? :shock:

No, once I know which station he's arriving at he'll be using this thread as reference when he's arrested :lmao:
mszee
03 May 2007, 02:00
No, once I know which station he's arriving at he'll be using this thread as reference when he's arrested :lmao:

:lmao:

Oh god, I can't wait to see you again and meet Michael...that should be great!!!
Blackkat13
04 May 2007, 07:29
Do you smell Bacon?

What speeding? I was trying out for NASCAR!
Monstro
04 May 2007, 16:41
What do you mean you can't arrest the muppets that organised the fan club presale????????????????????
sexyeyes_jo
08 May 2007, 01:08
is that a gun in ur pocket or r u just happy to see me