A. everybody

Q. how fast does news travel?

A: It's a direct correlation with how big a mouth the person you tell has got

Q: What is the most boring book in the world?

A. without a doubt the most boring book in the world has to be the telephone directory.

Q. will there ever be a day when everybody is happy?

Good point

A: No, there will always be one miserable git

Q: Are gnomes evil?

A. depends

Q. magical or garden variety?

Both. I have a feeling those freaky little plastic garden gnomes come into your house at night and scoop your brains out...that's why people keep buying them...

Although at least now I can spell gnome...used to spell it with a k... :roll:

A: Not as evil as the Ooomaloompas in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory - uggh those things always gave me the creeps!!


Q: What is the scientific explanation for love?

MADNESS !!!!!






Should I invest in a webcam

No FA, you will get the disappointment(s) of your life!! :D


So, Liverpool are going to win in Istanbul aren't they? ;)

has this happened yet?

No Keab, we have that pleasure to come!

Q: How come it's WINTER in Australia and still much warmer than here?:(

Because theyre lovely but annoying and meh.

Anyone know an effective way to harden the skin? Im using surgical spirit but all its doing is hadening the ends of my nails...

Ronseal strengthening wood varnish!!!

Why??

Sounds like you better not ask Chris! :D

Biter - try playing the guitar - that'll do it!! :lol:

Q: Who's goin to see the new Star Wars film?? :??:

I may see it, just to see what tehy'll do to ~~~~~~~ise the series even more.

What is it with the English? :p

Nothing!! We can't help being perfect!! :lol::lol::lol:

Why do i always choose women i haven't got a prayer of pulling!!!!:roll:

You're a hopeless optimist Chris! :lol:


Is it possible, ever, to be completely happy? :-)

Yes if you don't want the impossible!

Why is it always the cute girls who object to being told/don't believe they are cute?

Actually, they don't Chris - it's just that the words you need to use are 'intelligent', 'attractive' and 'desirable'... ha ha :D

OK, I'll have to settle 4 2md best won't I? :(

Never settle for 2nd best.....mm...apart from now ;)

Porridge with sugar or salt??

How to make the perfect porridge
==========================

Place foot on pedal of bin

Press pedal

tip entire bowl of porridge in bin

Make bowl of shreddies!!!

Q. Shall i make a pot of tea for the evening or crack open a bottle of wine??

Shreddies win hands down Chris - unless the alternative offering is a chicken tikka (yumm!) :D

I'd have the tea with shreddies









How do you concerntrate on writing music when you have a daughter taking the **** all of the time & a hubby who rabbits about nowt in the other ear :shock:

Suggest they go and see Star Wars (because it's 3 hours long! :D ) and 'spend some quality time together' so you can get 4 hours' peace! :cool:


Why does ordering furniture always make me lose the will to live? :evil:

Great idea - but hubby will not go to pictures - & Chris would not be seen dead with her dad (not cool) :lol: SO I have decided to move into the garage with me drums - I know I am safe in there.


WELL - it is not the most exciting thing to be ordering ............. is it :shock:









What shell I have for tea????

Just had a chicken salad for lunch

Shepherds pie! you can't go wrong with a nice shpeherds pie!!

And inviting a friendly newsagent round for his tea is always a good idea!! *warms car enigine up just in case*


Q. What can i do to stop me being bored??

come around to me for shepards pie & some banging on my drums :D






Should I go to vagas next year

Naw.....I got married there an lost the bet ;)

Is divorce a good thing??? :D

Yes if it makes you happier than being married ;)


Why do people always say 'we'll stay friends for the children's sake won't we?' then don't? :shock:

Oh Dear, because thry are so childish themselves and live for the nearest soft Play area :shock:

Should there be 'adult' play area's throughout the UK :D

YES! There should be ones for teens!

Who wants to play wit me in the ball pool?

Me me me!!!

Who else wants to kill the crazy frog with me?

A. i will.

Q. did any body see the dead ringers version ("crazy frost") ?

No... sounds funny...

How did crazy frost go?

I saw it! Went the same but with different words. Weird shaped frost bouncing around the screen...it'll be online somewhere I bet.

And thanks to R we can ALL shoot the frog! ;)

Has anyone else been roped into watching kiddies TV shows with small children lately or am I just gullible?

No, I got roped into watching 'whats the story, ballamorie'!!! They are a bit different to when I was young!!



Factor 15 or 20 suncream for Dubai next week? :lol: :lol: :lol: ( I can't wait)

Factor 20 - and make sure to get a round of golf in- fantastci courses out there apparently!

Did you know the PC Plum from Ballamorie has been to see Thoughly Modern millie 4 (FOUR!!) times last week alone!!!


Q, Seen as how i got legless last friday (se blog!) should i take up my amtes offer to repeat it this week? If so, what songs should i murder on karaoke!

Definately, Go and get bladdered and slaughter Angels on the kariokie.


coldplay or oasis album?

Surely coldplay or beatles!!!!!

if i had to choose i would say coldplay!

q. what colour scheme should i repaint my bedroom in?

Something calming like lavender or cream Chris!

Should I go scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef when I visit on business in July?

yes, but don't take your brief case!!


What is a good cure for Hayfever ? ( i'm dosed up on bennadryl and I can't stop sneezing) :sick:

Emigrate to a cold country - Siberia is quite good I believe! :D

It's a beautiful day, isn't it? :D

It maybe Pixie - but I am stuck in an office with no windows :(



I am in a good mood - how shell I celabrate ;)

Where's my toyboys :lol: :cool: :bunny:

Get yourself down to the Bat & Belfry of Course FA!!:D

I'll join you there so we can sit outside in the beer garden - what're you havin? :??:

extra strength laxatives - you will be too scared to sneeze!!

Pixie, with sharon it will be anything liquid adn alcoholic!!!!

Q. what shall i sing on my paperround this afternoon.

Chris - BOOH - scare the oldies :lol:


& why not alcohol Chris - if Pixie & I are in the beer garden - it would be a shame not too :hic:



Hope my daughter is doing ok today with her exam (maths retake)
Shell I get her a little something ???

A: Yes Sharon....absolutely...:D

Q: Tomorrow at the dentist will they give me the needle or the gas for 3 teeth taken out?? :?

Don't worry Ross (WARNING - PUN COMING!) - I'm sure it will only be a little prick!! :D :shock:


Hope your daughter did well yesterday Sharon :lol:

...and you're right Chris, she did drink me under the table last night!! :shock:

Ready to go again today, though!

So will we win the Ashes then??:D

No idea. Yes?

Anyone else not like all this sun?:shock:

............................................................ I love the sun......................... i'm red and cold, but its worth it............

Who else is part of the lobster club?

Yummy...lobster....hate the crabs though ;)

Is seafood as good for you as you think :?

I try to stay away from that much salt.


How's the knee?

They're okay, both got grazes but its all scabbed up now.

How did Rob know i had dodgy knees?

A: Badgers have snouts that can smell a grazed knee a mile off :lol:

Q: Beside Bren, Rosie, Tim and myself who else is going to Blicking Hall?

Meat loaf. *nods knowingly!!*

It is friday and therefore Karaoke night - any requests for what songs I should murder tonight? Only deffo one is "Alice Cooper - only women bleed" as i did a fantastic rendition of that last week.

A: Hows about Bat out of Hell - Kaz and I sang this together (plus two herbets) some time ago in Brentford, we had a standing ovation, (Um thinks that was because they were standing to walk out the door :lol:

Q: Should I behave tomorrow night?

A. No.

Q. would you anyway?

No, but maybe yes or maybe MAYBE :shock:

Is there a way to making an EASY living :??:

A. no

Q. wouldnt it be nice if their was?

Yes.

`Should Mondays be a Happy day :?

St Bob doesn't think so and his word is law!!!

"tell me why, I don;t like mondays
I wanna shoot the whole day down, down, shoot it all down"

Q. As I have a day off and have agreed to go for lunch with a friend (she's paying) should we aim for pub or pizza hut?

Pub...pizza hut is evil

Serious question - does anyone know what subjects i need to take in college to train as an archaeologist?

And did I spell archaeologist right?

serious answer.......art and Home Economics. Art for the wee brushes you get to move the debris from objects and HE for some good home cooking as you'll b away from home a lot.

Was that good advice or what??

A. No

Q. can Gerry actually be helpful?

Only if the need arises for a waffling scotch-man!!!!!

Q. Will Gerry kill me for saying that?

Naw he bl**dy wont...auch aye the noo!!

Will Gerry pull up his kilt and pass wind in Chris's face :shock:

No...he might like it ¬_¬

Just found out about a cool college in Nottingham...shall I be crazy and apply?

Just go for it Jen

Or, y'know, act responsibly, whatever....

Yes, they have plenty of parties at College, what can you lose??

Whats a decent time to go 2 bed :zzz:

Probobly when your keyboard is full of spit :lol:

Should i let my sister use the computer???

NAW sisters dont care

How much will SLM regret not takin ma advice??

Alot....Alot, Alot...:lol:

Is Gerry's keyboard a puddle of spit yet?? :shock:

Knowing Gerry Yes + beer :lawl:






What should I do at the weekend - NO daughter - but a hubby :?

Ditch the hubby and go on a girlie night out :D

If so, can I come too :??:

Well Gerry - If it is a girlie night out - you will have to wear a skirt :cheer:




Who wants to see Gerry in a skirt :0mghi2u: :tard:

Add me to the list FA! :shock: I'm in a kind of masochistic mood tonight!! :lol:

so original girls.........I normally do that in 'private' anyway :cool:

me too Gerry...my legs only come out briefly if abroad!! :D

Anyway, back to the questions? If a guy says he wants to 'meet you for coffee', is he thinking he wants it to go further or not? ;)

Don't ask Gerry that question - he's up for it always.

Not all men are the same Pixie - maybe he just does want coffee - or do you want it to go further ??





Anyone here understand rugby ??
Hubby is taking me to a match as an observer (hes working) & it should be fun

OMG NOT ME SHARON!! :roll: My friend's tryin to get out of something but can't make excuses for not goin for coffee!! I've told her just to go - it's only coffee and can be a long..or short..one! ;)


Rugby - aahh, that's where they assault each other even more than football, all have broken noses and cauliflower ears (but nice thighs! :D ) and usually end up hugging each other anyway....my hubby used to play but I still don't get it...:lol:

OK - so I look at the thighs then :lol:





Why have I had 2 days of a good mood ??? :shock: :shock:

Thinking about the thighs FA!! :D (remember to have a drink in one hand too :-P )


Why does work always expand to fill the time available?

A: Because if you want some thing done, always, but always ask a busy person and there'll find the time..

Q: Need a life style change, wish to be a free spirit again, should I?

......Be free within yourself, and outward.....NUDIST BEACH :D

Should all beaches have a nudest (and secret spying place) area :??:

Absolutely....*I am not a prev* :roll:

Should all men be suppiled with glasses as they enter the beach to view :whistle: ??

A: No, they'll go blind :lol:

Q: I need a shot of adrealine, lifes a little stale, any suggestions

Get a motorbike - great fun & good for getting rid of cobwebs :lol:

http://www.fudrace.com/images/Motorbike1_bw.gif


How do I cool my garage down

open doors, or put some bowls of ice water down with a fan behind them....works every time

shall i get a pizza or just have a marmite sarnie?

A: a pizza every time Biter! What the heck, you can starve later :D

Q: Should I hug Mickey Mouse or not when I go to EuroDisney tomorrow? :shock:

Of course you should! Have fun! :D

Shall I go back to sleep? :zzz:

A. Yes why not!



Q. Shall i without anyone ringing me!!!

*phones Chris*

Daddy or Chips?

Daddy or chips???:D :D How hungry are you exactly Biter?? ;) :lol:

Don't eat chips - so I'll have the Daddy's on a bacon butty



Concerned about me eye - what can I do to help the inflamation of the conjunctiva

4get about it and get an eye patch!!

Should I get FA a parrot for her shoulder??

Forgot to answer this one - If it is EuroDisney, go to the Main St section and find the frenchie who plays Mickey on there monday thru thursday. Walk up, punch him as hard as possible and tell him Big Chris hasn't forgotten!!! :evil::evil::evil:

Gerry, yes buy her a parrot! (but check it is not a deceased Norweigan blue!!)

Q. Since Lancashire beat Yorkshire at cricket, what did they do to cheat this victory!!!

:bicker: - You taking the *iss :(



Know nowt about cricket Chris - just men rubbing red balls on white trousers & throwing it at 3 sticks :wtf:


Should I let my 17yr old daughter & 3 friends go to Manchester to see a gig & stop overnight in a B&B ????

Not unless your after trouble. GROUND her for even suggesting an overnight stay :!:

Should Fa be allowed out the whole night :cool: ??

HELL YA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!









Are webcams fun ????