:D :D :D :D :D :D

Wonderful.... except for the embarrassing incident yesterday where I tried to go and fill up at the petrol station only to discover I didn't have the knack of getting it on the central stand and had to spend 5 shameful minutes trying only to turn round and go home again....... :oops:

.........woman drivers:roll: ;)

I'm going to see the Darkness tonight at Sheffield, looking forward to it! :D

[QUOTE=dottie][QUOTE=dottie]What an unbelievable day have attended the Runnymede Centre in Addlestone where my childhood care records were held in the archives....

Masses of information and reports regarding myself, my sister, my brother, my parents and foster parents, and children homes that we livedi n for periods of time.

All are going to be copied and sent to me, plus some original paper work written by my father, which the case worker has agreed to let me have the originals!!!!

Found some distressing news as well, evidently had another baby sister who died when she was 28 days old from pneunomia, and we weren't ever told about this ......

Also found evidence that my mother who deserted us when I was 2 years old was certified as mentally deficient and suffering a severe form of epelipsy, and gave us up because she couldn't cope.........

Such happiness and such sadness, but now I can move forward, I also have the forms for the Salvation Army Tracing service, which I can use some of the information when it arrives to help me trace our mothers movements, and ascertain whether she is dead or alive.....

So glad that at last I have some answers.......

Its been worth the wait, and will give me the impetus to go on..........

love dottie
xxx

found this and thought it was appropriate considering I am now starting on a voyage of discovery........



Foster children move from place to place,
With memories that walk the night alone,
Nor is the love theirs that they must embrace.

Yet most survive with a peculiar grace,
Even though their hearts should turn to stone,
As they move about from place to place.

Perhaps within themselves they find a place,
To furnish as they would a mobile home,
Finding scraps of things they can embrace.

A memory like some such fingered lace,
Thoughts and dreams that only they have known,
Moving as they do from place to place.

Their childhood impossible to trace,
In the years of yearning after they have grown,
Filled with love they've chosen to embrace.

Yet with their losses etched upon their face,
Pain for which no penance can atone,
How can they move and move, from place to place
Surrending the love they must embrace.

two of these lines I found to be so relevant

"Their childhood impossible to trace,
In the years of yearning after they have grown"

One could possibly argue - better late than never, to find a childhood lost so long ago........
__________________

My quest for answers has now well and truly started to unfold, happiness and sadness in fair proportions, but ultimately a link to the past so that I may move forward.........

Just found this one by Peggie Kirkland and thought of Dottie's voyage.

The expansive oceans of our lives
Are filled with seas of experiences
Trifling, important, lively, boring
Calming, frightening, safe and treacherous
But always learning and growing, growing and learning

Rock me gentle sea
Cradle me in the bosom of your tiny ripples
Let me feel at one with your seeming
Ending-never, peace and serenity
As I make my way through this day
Happy, unaware of the impending storms;
There is only peace, gentle peace

But did I speak too quickly?
What is this turbulence that has erupted?
Oh please, not now
I am, was, at one with you
Oh no, the ship of my life has tilted to one side
I think it's going to capsize
I feel it heaving with the waves
As they whip themselves into a fury
Determined to prove their omnipotence
And I one sailor trying to navigate the choppy waters
But I cannot do this alone.
I make a conscious effort to inhale the salty air
Slowly, slowly. slowly, slowly
My body goes limp and
I release the wheel and cover the compass

I realize that the direction of this ship
Is not in my hands.
I let go and let the Divine Creator take charge
And I awake yawning, stretching, rubbing my eyes
As I behold a glorious new day.

spoke to my sister in Oz ,last night, and she informed me that she had known oh so many things that had happened to us, but wanted to hide them away, for fear of being hurt again, I've explained that this is something I need to do to for one, to find the burial place of my little baby sister who I never knew, find her name and leave some sort of token.

To trace my mother again, my sister informed me that she had had contact with her although fleeting so many years ago, why I don't understand didn't someone think that I might want to know?

Still I'm on the right course now, and will continue my quest no matter where it leads, with or without help from anyone around me.....

Thinking of you, Dottie.


Love and hugs,
Ankie Xxx

Dottie, wishing you much luck with your search, hope you find everything you're looking for and it turns out to be much more than you hoped it would be x

good luck with that Dottie, hope you find the answers you are looking for.
thinking of you.

good luck dottie.

I'm cat-sitting this weekend for some friends who are off getting married :|

Wish me luck...

...hurry up monday!

Poor cats :(

:wtf:

Jen trained the cats well over the weekend :shock:
















http://media.mlxxfc.net/cat_sniper.png:lol:

...you know me so well

:twisted:

wow, that was wonderful Dottie. That was the first few posts that i have read all the way through which are not Meat related. I'm so glad your on the right track now anyway.

THE SMURFS :shock: :shock:

bleah, too much work.

:-P Now, this is one I can really relate to. Thanks, Gerry!!:D

:D :D :D :D It is all okay everything is fine and all concerned are a-okay with it,,, so far so good:D :D :D :D (then again something is bound to come along and put a spanner in the works )but that is just me thinking i am not supposed to have free flowing life and not be happy:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll:

*sigh*.....bored.....*sigh*

It's my wedding anniversary today - been married six years... Well officially it's the 29th of February, but that only comes round once every four years!

Happy anniversary Hypnobabe! :cool:

Diane

I am ashamed to say that I have been neglecting this site lately as I am so busy with work & the band - BUT I do miss you guys :oops:

miss you too FA...nice to see you:D ...hope all is well.

..........must be me shes talkn bout Bren ;) :D

Know the feeling FA, so, so busy with work and researching my family, my heads all over the place, but still try to come here at least once a day for a short period.. - keeps me sane:lol:

But we don't do sane, Dottie!! If you're looking for sane, I think I'm in the wrong place!!:retard:

Um your quite right there Sarah:lol:

Got your place booked at Nocells:lol: I have, I am so prepared for the final moment when it all becomes to much.........:lol:

Got my tickets for V booked - a weekend in a tent in Chelmsford... still, if it's like last year was in Stafford, it'll be fantastic - brilliant weather, great music and good company... only problem is that this year I haven't (yet) won any VIP tickets, so I'll be roughing it in the grotty arena loos with the rest of the sweaty herds.... Must remember to bring the disinfectant toilet wipes... and that's just for my a**!!! :lol:

4am start on a sunday....way too early :zzz

Meat Loaf Really Rocks !!!!!!!!!
 

Hi you lot, just a quickie but isn't Meat Loaf so great. He give a 110% each time he performs and he never disapoints you at a gig.

EDIT (Chris)> Site adverts removed! Please read forum rules.

Silence - Heaven

Minute to myself - Heaven

Being on here - Heaven on Earth

I think I am addicted to apples.

Apple as in Apple Pie?

Don't be crude!!

Apples as in Golden Delicious Apples :drool:

Having read that I think I love R! :lmao:

Worried

Cravings?...... not pregnant are you Chris?

Wasted !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:( Youth :(

No Just wasted lol

Wasted, as in 'unrecognised', perhaps?

God help us in a few weeks Sarah - sharing a room - will we ever be the same & what about Christina - can she cope with the two of us




:lmao: :wtf: :nuts: :tard: :retard:

Feeling like a bit of a third wheel as I can't do anything but am trying to convice myself that i can :(

My thoughts and prayers go out to a special friend that she may find solace in the company of her true friends....

Having cancelled a date with a young lady, i am now available after all - i wonder if she is still free?

*hopeful face*

I got flu.. :( Yesterday I´ve got headache and sore throath.. Now I have only sorethrouth and I barely can eat anything.. :(

sympathy sympathy, Skeleton, I got a stinking cold, not quite bad enough to be flu, but bad enough to make my sleeping pattern go to hell and for me to feel as grumpy as a very grumpy person at the final of the grumpy competition....

hope you feel better soon Skeleton...

While we're on the subject of competing illnesses, my tummy's feeling a little better than it did last night....... not sure if it hurts now through the after effects of being ill, or coz I'm hungry. Think I'll try some food. Fingers crossed the bottom doesn't drop out of my world again!!

I have fractured my elbow:( Had accident on the ice!!!:cry:

I broke my neck sweeping out the nuts.

I love painkillers.

Ouch! I can sympathise with you there - shattered my humerous (not very funny actually) on the ice 3 years ago...... still not right. I never knew how many movements affect your arms - even breathing!!!

Someone on here, is making me feel Oh so good.........;)

Thank you, it is painful:( Have been signed off work for 6 weeks. Roll on summer

Hope it may last very, very long, Dottie.

Wonder how Andy's dog Scrabble is? Anyone heard?

Smokie have cancelled their concert at the Beck in Hayes:( waited a long time to see them too:(

It's raining again...

in my heart...........

I am still suffering with my ribs after 5 months of breaking them at Steve Steinmans Vampires show :shock:

hope get better soon FA. * HUG*

yeah me too!! :D

Check Andys Blog......

Brings a whole new meaning to going out and having a smashing time, take care my friend, hope you recover very soon.....

She's gonna regret agreeing to share a room with me at the end of the month!! .... Laughing's good exercise - it's like jogging on the inside........ I'll have her doing a marathon!! :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

I can't wait until i get to see her on Sunday - got a bottle of champagne and am torn between a few red roses or a mix of red and white ones!!

I think we need to rework the lyrics to a Meat song : "All loved up and 2 days to go"

Don't ever mix red & white roses Chris - very bad luck. Symbolises blood on bandages....... well, so my gran says!

You're right Sarah - I'll stick to just white for good old Yorkshire

Hows about "I going to love her for both of us"? very apt!!!!

Um methinks better bear that in mind for the future.........:shock:

Sarah - I am well & truelly up for it. I am soooooo looking forward to seeing you again & introducing you to some other meat nutters.

We are in for a great weekend.

I am being cheeky here - but had a drink & don't care - but don't forget we are also celebrating my birthday that weekend too.

OLD - only in body - in mind still young & a prat

You never know ;)

Wanders off singing Freddie Mercury "This could be heaven for everyone!!" :cool:

Your right there Chris, you just never, ever know, who or what is around the corner.........

dottie wanders of also singing Hermans Hermits "I'm into something good":lol:

1 day to go..........

...oh well.......

Tomorrow, tomorrow, the sun will come out tomorrow!!

Have to phone a hospital at newcastle on monday and beg them to get me an appointment at least in the next three weeks cos part of my brace is loose and I'm going on the holiday of a lifetime the beginning of next month and I don't want it ruined by not being able to eat properly and feeling uncomfortable and my orthodondist is in huge demand at that hospital so I'll be lucky to get in at all!!!!!!!!!:cry:
I'll just have to tell them it's a mega emergency, talk funny and cry down the phone!:roll:

:??: If I tell a secret, does that mean it's still a secret? Only, it's one that a lot more people know?? :doh: :tard:

If someone wanted something kept secret then they shouldn't have said anything in the first place. The fact that several people apparently know this secret already, disqualifies it from being a secret and falls into the gossip category.

Pud :twisted:

Sorry Pud, that was a whimsical thought only. And a badly worded one at that. :lol:

But, I take your point. It does make it gossip at that point, doesn't it? :lol:

Seeing you are here, however, please impart some of your Kiwi humour here. I like your wicked jokes. ;)

I'm actually from Yorkshire, hence the Pud/Pudding name;) and moved to New Zealand over 6 years ago. However, if you're wanting a typical kiwi joke, here goes:

Two sheep herders are flying the herd to a new farm. Suddenly, the
engine fails and the plane begins to fall quickly to the ground.

SH1: Quick! Grab a parachute and jump!

SH2: What about the sheep ?!?

SH1: Fuck the sheep !!!!

SH2: *pause* Do you think we have time? :shock: :lmao:

Pud :twisted:

[QUOTE=Pudding]I'm actually from Yorkshire, hence the Pud/Pudding name;) and moved to New Zealand over 6 years ago.

:oops: :doh: Apologies for my jumping to conclusions as to your origin. (Pardon the pun.)

:up: Thanks for the laughter! :lmao: :lawl:

The sun has got his hat on today:D !!!!!!!!!!!

the champers and wine are lovely Chris:)

Snow :d :d

What an absolutely spliffing weekend:D

Glad to hear you enjoyed your weekend Dottie :D

Ive got a wisdom tooth coming through and it aches!! ARGH! :angry: :(

As did i hun.

We really must do that again sometime (when's hubby next away!!)

i need a wee

Well don;t feel we are stopping you!

:shock: TMI

weekend after next Chris:D if your free!! I'm free:lol:

http://valdefierro.com/aybs002.jpg:lol: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

Hold that thought Love,
I'll be there before supper!! ;)