Paul Mcartney... :twisted:

- Yes! :lol:

Eeeeeerm, I think it was JOHN LENNON!!!!???? 8O 8O 8O

This one is QUITE disgusting, but tame. 8)


3 Vampires


There are these 3 vampires. The first vampire walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.

The second vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of blood." The bartender gives him the shot of blood, the vampire drinks it, and leaves.

The third vampire walks into the bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of water."

The bartender says, "Why do you want a shot of water?"

The vampire pulls out a dirty tampon and says, "Tea time."

Eeeeeerm No - P.Mc new wife - l leg get it :lol:

>A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices the oil
>pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the
>motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
>
>After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop, and being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up from the engine and says, "It looks like you've blown a seal.
>
> "No, no," the penguin replies, wiping his mouth "it's just ice cream"

:lmao: :mrgreen: :lmao: :mrgreen: :lmao:

Hafta tell you my elephant joke.. WARNING though..it may not be to everyone's taste....



A man goes to his doctors, and says to the doc, 'I've been raped by an elephant!!'
The doctor looks slightly aghast, and suggests the man drop his pants, and bend over so he can examine him.
The man does so, but when the doc looks, all the doc see's is a massive hole where the man's anus should be...
'In my opinion,' says the doc, 'Elephants have very long, thin penis's....there's no way that an elephant's penis could have caused this damage'
'I know what your saying doc,' says the man, ' But he fingered me first...'

:D :D :D



A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over. The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's a*** was that eye staring right back at him. "You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

:mrgreen:

A man went to Court to divorce his wife.

"Why do you want a Divorce?" asked the Judge.

"Well", he replied, "She keeps goats in the bedroom and they stink".

"Can you not open the windows?" asked the Judge.

"What?" replied the man. "And let all my pigeons out?"

Heather.

Oh, Dottie,

Just read your jokes! :lol: :lol: :lol: Could not stop laughing!

You have my sense of humour!

Heather.

3 Men, 3 Wishes

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician than said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink.

The first man went down yelling, ''Beerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer.

The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade.

The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''

A tramp walks into a bar and asks the barman for a toothpick. Not wanting any trouble, the barman gives the man a toothpick. Another tramp walk in and asks the barman for a toothpick, and again, the barman duly obliges.

A third tramp walked in and the barman gave him a toothpick. The tramp declines and asks for a straw. The barman asks "I've just had two tramps asks me for a toothpick, why do you need a straw?"

"Someone has been sick outside and all the good bits have gone"

Ewww...

I read the Tramp joke and was so upset I was sick through the open window.

The doorbell rang - my husband said "There are three tramps outside and the first two are asking for toothpicks".....

:twisted: HeHeHe :twisted:

Dare I put my name to this?

:mrgreen: YUCK! :mrgreen:

Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?

A: A sheep.


:lol:

i seriously wonder about u ppl sometimes :lol:

:devil: How come??? :devil:

A guy walks into a restaurant. He sits down and this ugly waitress comes over. He then orders a hamburger and a hotdog. So five minutes later the waitress comes back with a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it. So the man asks, ?Where's the burger??

Then the waitress lifts up her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit and says, ?I was keeping it warm.?

Disgusted he says, ?Please cancel my hotdog...?

I agree with Testify, sometimes I really worry about the things that are going on in your heads.
Some of those things are very funny tho...

I dont get Wild Honey's joke - someone explain?

Heather.

:twisted: I seriously doubt anyone could explain it without having their post being edited big time :lol: .

:lmao: hehe nope!!

Sorry, just realised my mistakes.... :oops: I'll edit it later!!!