:twisted: I'm not even gonna ask what the stick is for :shock:

Good stuff, ms barlady, thank you.

As for the large stick.... my shovels have been confiscated, as has the garden fertiliser and the matches and other assorted oddments, including all metal items, such as spoons :-(

Oh dear...I didn't know they treat you this poorly in the asylum...:shock:

Have a drink on the house before you have to return to your little padded cell...

Thank you, I need it.

They've even taken away the padding.

Geez...that must be really rough...:nuts:

Oh, it is... the double glazed break-proof glass hurts my head.

Drinks on the house for all insomniacs out there!!!

coffee will be fine, thank you

yeah start the day with a coffee....

Coffees all around...

http://media.mlxxfc.net/coffee.jpg

thanks you Zina..that tastes really good..I needed that to wake up a little:D

Coffee and whiz please. More pure, the better.

Ummm...my dear lady...what we call "whiz" in America...although often is morning event..is not a morning drink...I don't think you would want any part of THAT...

But please help yourself to the coffee...there is an open coffee bar up above your post.

Glad to be of help...hope you're having great day!!! :D

No, no, wrong type. Although both do involve waking up, my whiz more than your whiz, though. ;)

Confessions of an American dope...I have no idea what Aussie's call Whiz...I am in a process of learning British as it is...

have a good day yourself too hun and have a coffee from me:-P

Oh. I'll say it's illegal, and the only thing that will get me through work tomorrow. And leave it at that.

Scotch please.

Thanks, sweet lady...I will...

No illegal thingies here...we have posted a sign a few pages back...so sorry about that...but meet me after work in the alley behind the pub...we shall talk then...

One scotch coming up!!!

I thought it was only firearms that were banned?

Better make it a double. :D

Like I said...all illegal thingies...

Double scotch for you...and a big glass of straight vodka for me!!!

http://img294.imageshack.us/img294/4...2020topbk6.jpg

....am running low here.....HELP

Here you go...

http://media.mlxxfc.net/vodka.jpg

all the alcohol.....zzz coffee please..

Ka-zing Vadavoom .... everything is legal, anything goes.

Is anybody serving today??? Need a drink...

AND...I am off duty...

*Sits down finally and stretches her legs*

Ahhh...nobody around...oh well...

http://media.mlxxfc.net/russkie.jpg

Za Vashe Zdorovye!!!

Can't sleep, do you serve milky Horlicks in this pub? :yawn:

:twisted: We serve pretty much everything :mrgreen:

Does that include summonses? Death warrants? GELFs? Flambed jellyfish?

Flamingo alfredo on the rocks, please

WHERE IS THE LANDLORD???!!!
 

Whoever thinks that the landlord of this pub :mrgreen: was on holiday for far too long :panic: and should immediately come back to his duties and obligations here ...:cheers:

Please say aye!!!

:yay: :cheer: :hic:

Aye.

I need a beer.

:D

Aye

Cup of tea please, weak, milk, two sugars :-)

:twisted: OK OK OK OK OK, i'm back, what we all havin? :mrgreen:

It's all above...one beer and one tea...and barmaid is now officially on holiday...:shock: :shock: :shock:

And so...could I please have a Cosmopolitan? :cool:

Feel a bit :twisted: this morning...

:twisted:
Right....
1 beer, 1 tea, and 1 cosmopolitan.

There you go :mrgreen:

Thank you, kind sir...

*Sips her Cosmopolitan and makes googly eyes at the landlord* ;)

Make mine a vodka and red bull, if you please...

Hello barkeep!!!!Il have something non-alcoholic today as im nursing the mother of all hangovers :barf:
An orange juice for me

:twisted: So that's 1 red bull, and one OJ, oh and a pint for me :mrgreen:

*Was batting her eyelashes at landlord without any obvious result for close to 12 hours and just realized that is somewhat cross-eyed*:tard:

:twisted: Well you have very beautiful eyes darling, even if they are crossed.

*kisses nose*

Darling...are you the one on the left...or the one on the right???

*kisses the wall behind mousie's head*

:heart: :angst:

:twisted: I was the one IN THE MIDDLE :doh:

Ouch...*rubs her forehead which kissed the wall too* :oops:

Let me put my glasses on...can't hear very well without them...:shock:

Oh here you're...*runs up to mousie, runs into the bar and falls smack on her butt* :wtf: :panic:

Ouch....I think I might need a LOT of TLC right about now...:hic: :yikes:

:? I appear to be missing some vodka, landlord.... Hope the missus is feeling better...

:twisted: Oh sorry missed the vodka.
Well this place don't mod itself (unfortunatly :sad: )
Still, here's that vodka :D
I hope she's feeling better too.
Can get pretty grumpy when not feeling 100% :roll:

Welcome back, Landlord.

Big goings on today; will be looking for my special in about 2 hours; in the meantime, iced water and some conversation would be great. :D

Ta very much... can I have another red bull to go with it? It's a bit early in the day for shots...

Say what???

No, dearest...make :heart: not :angry:

Can I please have vodka straight? I need it today...

:twisted: Well this is getting complcated now.

I've given out a red bull without the vodka.

A vodka without the red bull.

So now I have to get a vodka, and a red bull, then everything will be ok?

Think that's right.

It's one of those days :wtf:

Forgot Iced water for VRG

Alright...time to take a break from my vacation...here you go, VRG...

Glass of iced water...and as to conversation...I think we will definitely have one today!!!

:twisted: Well the wife has dispenced that, anyone else want serving? :mrgreen:

Squeeking from the corner*....

How about a hug???

:keke:

:twisted: All yours dear :mrgreen:
(((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))))))

:D :heart: :mrgreen:

Thanks, Mr. Green...

:twisted: Any time dear :mrgreen:

Metho, please.

Oh, and a sledgehammer if you have one spare.

Thanks. :|

:twisted: A sledgehammer?

You know what I put in my slecgehammers?

You seen the last guy who drank one of my sledghammers?

He's still in quarantine :mrgreen:

Landlord...oh Landlord...:0mghi2u:

Some MAJOR groveling on the rocks, please...;)

:twisted: Groveling?

The landlord? :yikes:

OH, well...if that's the case...:shrug:

*Turns around to leave...* :wave:

:twisted: Later hunnie :wave:

:lmao:

*Looks over her shoulder and jingles beans in her pocket*...

Laters!!!:whistle:

:twisted: Or you could always stay here and have me wait on you hand and foot :wink: :heart:

ahahahahahaha...

No...Masters and commanders don't do that...how about a hug and a kiss instead??? :oops:

:twisted: Now I can do that :mrgreen:

((((((((((((((((((((((gig hug)))))))))))))))))))

*SMOOCH*

Better? :mrgreen:

(((((((((((((((((((((The Landlord)))))))))))))))))))))))

:heart:

:heart:

:heart:

:twisted: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Sweet :mrgreen:

BTW, anyone want serving here?

Well, hun...there was Hypnobabe way up there before I usurped your attention...sorry...:oops:

:twisted: Well you shouldn't be such a lovely distraction :wink:

:oops: :oops: :oops:

:D :heart: :heart: :mrgreen:

:twisted: Right back attcha baby :mrgreen:

:faint:

Hun...I think I need...ummm...what is it called again???

Oh yeah....:shock: :shock: :shock:

No no, a "sledgehammer". Large, unwieldy implement, useful for solving computer issues.

Given I didn't get any form of sledgehammer *or* my drink, is the B&B refusing service? :shock:

Weak tea please, milk, two sugars :cheers:

*THUMP*

Hypnobabe passes out from dehydration....

Me thinks landlord has sampled too many of his wares...:zzz: :zzz: :zzz:

One drink for Lotus - sorry, dear...no sledgehammers in the Pub...forbidden by Council Rules and Regulations (See that huge book on the table in the corner???) :twisted:

One weak tea, milk and 2 sugars for Jan...:D

And, Hypnobabe, dear dear Hypnobabe...sorry for the neglect...Here is your red bull!!! :oops:

Did I take care of everybody???

And for every lovely lady...

http://media.mlxxfc.net/rose.jpg

Please come again!!!

Thanks very much mszee... take one or two for yourself, my lovely...

Thanks...can use a drink...had to come back from the holiday...

Landlord is indisposed again...

Too much of...:cheers: :hic:

:evil:

gimmee gimmee a drink b4 midnight :shock:

*Looks at her watch...*

Whew...just made it before midnight!!!

Here is your drink!!! :D

*The clock strikes midnight and Cinderella promptly turns into a pumpkin*

http://media.mlxxfc.net/pump.jpg

*pops in for a quick drink*

one beer please hun..:cool:

take care:D

Quick beer coming up!!! :twisted:

that was quick beer what is it..give me another:twisted:

Taking a break from my other job...that's why quick...

Here is another one - this one on the house!!! :lol:

thanks hun..
have one of those quickies yourself:D

now I gotto go working again...:roll:
some stupid thing someone invented..doing the dishes..:mad:
I think someday I only buy plastic plates..:twisted:

Dishes??????? :shock: :shock: :shock:

What's dishes???? :wtf:

There is definite advantage to working in a VIRTUAL pub...:devil:

Could i get a Malibu, don't know if i want coke with it tho:shock:

Well, Benny...make up your mind...

Still and all...may I see some ID??? :sherlock: :nag:

can i have cola/ameretto mixed please??????? i need it.... :twisted:

OMG...:shock:

Here you go...:D

Cola/Amaretto mixed with a double shot of espresso!!!!

Now we can chat all night...:lol:

May I please have a beer, two vodkas, and some heavy duty painkillers? Thank you.

http://media.mlxxfc.net/beer.jpg

http://media.mlxxfc.net/vodka_2.jpg

http://media.mlxxfc.net/pills.jpg

And all this cheerfully delivered too!!! :D :D :D

Please, how about one of my specials, while I finish up here, and head home to seclusion away from the heat.

Thanks a million.

Sorry...still have to clean around here...

Here you go...

http://media.mlxxfc.net/russky.jpg

Beer, vodka and Codeine, in unlimited quantities, please.

a black coffee please..that will do for now.. I hope..:D