Jockey is racing in the 3-40pm from Cheltenham. He's doing great, on the home stretch, first place, when all of a sudden a tin of chopped ham and pork comes flying out of the crowd, hits him right on the head. In the confusion he slips back to third place.
He spurs on his mount, and rider and horse struggle back into second place when a bottle of port and a string of sausages fly out of the crowd. The port strikes the horse's flank and the sausages wrap around the jockey's neck. Again he loses ground as he struggles to retain his composure.
He's just about to regain first place when, in the final furlong, a tin of peaches and a turkey crown fly from the crowd, strike him right between the eyes. He can no longer concentrate, loses all concentration and fails to get a placing.
He goes straight to the Steward's enclosure and lodges a complaint that he was seriously hampered.
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