Games for when we're old:
1. Sag, you're It.
2. Hide and go pee.
3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
4. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
5. Musical recliners.
6. Simon says something incoherent.
7. Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE:
1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
OLD IS WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't
have to go along.
3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to pee!
Thoughts for the weekend
When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now we just go
"chunky dunking."
Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could
simply press 'Ctrl-Alt-Delete' and start all over?
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you
haven't fallen a sleep yet.
Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
But Most Of All, Remember!
And don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's
already tomorrow in Australia.
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