Thread: Jokes
View Single Post
Old 29 Jul 2006, 03:51   #391
L96
Inaugural goldfish winner
 
Join Date: 04.07.2005
Location:  In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell...
Posts: 2,373
Default

Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and... only in Australia... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

Only in Australia... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke.

Only in Australia... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in Australia ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Australia... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

Only in Australia... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Aussies die each year testing if a 9V battery works on their tongue.

142 Aussies were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Aussies are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 by watering their christmas tree while
the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies were admitted to Emergency in the last two years
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

Finally.....in 2000, eight Aussies cracked their skull whilst throwing
up in the toilet.
L96 is offline  
 

Page generated in 0.03082 seconds with 13 queries.