RIGHT! I'LL TRY THIS AGAIN.
I have had some revelations!
1) Some people have a high libido when ill. This could be a huge breakthrough in the Freudian school of thought for behavioural psychology, after suitable research.
2) Maturity. Growing up, settling down. It's not marriage, or mortgage, or or anything like that. You know your wild days are past when you contemplate buying a suitcase.
3) It's not rocket science. A prerequisite of manufacturing paper bags is to HAVE PAPER. What the hell is wrong with the guy in stores/supplies? Maybe it's time he bought a suitcase.
4) I realise workers need to be looked after, and having them work in extreme heat is not ideal. Surely, though, there MUST be a better way of cooling them down. Seriously. What type of moron installs industrial strength fans in a paper bag factory??
And on an entirely unrelated topic, my calves itch.
Edit: they don't itch anymore. Now it's my shins.