Last one for now:
MARRIAGE
You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or you can get married and wish you were dead.
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At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?"
The other woman replied, "Yes I am; I married the
wrong man."
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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
The next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better
revenge than to let her keep him.
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in the USA.
The rest cheat in Canada.
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A woman is incomplete until she is married.
Then she is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married?"
And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."
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Young son: "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?"
Dad: "That happens in every country, Son."
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Then there was a woman who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was 'til I got married; and by then it
was too late."
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you
start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nights,
and so does she.
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Husband: "Want a quickie?"
Wife: "As opposed to what?"
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First Guy: "My wife's an angel."
Second Guy: "You're lucky; mine's still alive."
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Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are attractive to the opposite sex
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