OK, to stay on prison humour............
Three police officers were given the following little laminated card.
Two of the policemen were Nigel and Cecil, high flyers in Scotland Yard.
The third was Nobby, the street copper.
The specialist area of all three officers was drugs division.
"Gentlemen", said the chief superintendant, "I want you to takr this card into the community, and see how many people you can convert to the path of righteousness in one week, and report back to me".
The three toddle off and return one week later.
"So Nigel, you first, how did you do?"
"Well sir, I converted 357 people to the path of righteousness"
"That's very impressive Nigel, how did you do it?"
"Well sir" says Nigel indicating the smaller circle, " I said this is your circle of friends if you do drugs.
You are a social outcast, the kind of person who is shunned by friend and family alike.The kind of person that nobody wishes to know.
THIS", he continued pointing to the larger circle, "is your circle of friends if you DON'T do drugs.You are an emencly popular chap, friend to all and the life and the soul of every society party.
See how much better your life will be if you don't use drugs".
"Very good Nigel" says the gaffer, clearly impressed.
"OK Cecil, how did you do?"
"892 people converted to path of righteousness sir" says Cecil in hiw most superiour tone.
"Now that is jolly good work, how did you achieve such a high number?"
"Well sir, I told the person, THIS (indicating to small circle) is your brain power if you use drugs.
Your thoughts are clouded, you can't focus clearly on anything.Even the simplest things like tieing your shoelaces becomes a battle of will against your own intelect".
"THIS, is your brain power if you DON'T use drugs.
The human mind is one of the most complex things in all of creation, capable of deep thought and wonderous revelation.
See how much better your life will be if you don't use drugs".
"Well Cecil, that is very very impressive" says the chief, who then turns to Nobby with barely concealed distain for the common police officer and asks "so come on Nobby, how did you do?"
"Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, 5927"
"I beg your pardon Nobby, did you just say 5927?"
"errrrrrrr, yeh"
"Please pray tell how you did that" says the chief with a look of utter astonishment on his face.
"I told the person, look, i'm a copper, and if you take drugs, i'll nick yer, and you'll go to prison, and that's the size of your arse when you go in, and that's................."
I dare say you can work out the end
