How to Have Fun in a Crowded Elevator
smack your forehead and mutter: "Shut up! Shut up! All of you just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, peer inside, and ask, "Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I've got new socks on!"
Meow occasionally.
Bet the other passengers that you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce: "You're one of them." Then move to the far corner of the elevator.
Walk on with an appropriately sized cooler that says "human head" on the side.
Wear a child's puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Say "ding" at each floor.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host!"
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