Jurassic World
Dumb. Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb. And dumb in a way that robs of it of a lot of the fun. Sometimes, really dumb films can be really fun. Con Air for example. Face/Off. Broken Arrow. The Rock. Expendables 2. This film is SO dumb that my disbelief gets suspended too often and starts to interrupt my enjoyment of the film.
The plot basically boils down to "the park is up and running, and a big dinosaur escapes". Now who doesn't want to see that? I love the original, enjoy the second one, and tolerate the third, and I have been hoping for 15+ years to see the park up and running and one of the big ones escaping.
But then so many dumb things happen that it is fumbled really badly. I want to avoid spoilers just in case, but at a high level this is all the dumb stuff that happens:
The park is up and running and reasonably successful without us ever seeing any of the effort, investment, or initial excitement or wow factor. Means we are not invested in the characters trying to keep it going. Also, as most of the characters are so dismissive of dinosaurs, so are the viewers. If they don't care why would we? E.g. the lead older boy and even Dr Henry Wu. Fudges the pitch basically right from the start. Make us wow. Make us care.
One way they try to make us care? The "script writing 101" plot device of making the boys parents be going through a divorce. Seems to make no difference at all to the boys. Or the parents. Right up until a point in the movie where they seem to realise - oh there should be a reason for all the whining and whinging. And then hey presto the younger one starts blubbing. Ugh. The kids in the original film were also irritating. But in a largely endearing kind of a way. Not so now.
The dinosaur that escapes is presented as way too clever.
- scratching the wall as a distraction - I see the idea but it should have been presented as "has been trying to escape every day at different times testing the walls" or something. Then when the dumb humans go look at the scratches, the dino seizes the opportunity. They do not plan out strategies.
- ripping out the enormous beeping tracking sensor as a trap. No. Ripping it out because it is enormous and beeps all the time and maybe has got infected and hurts, which coincidentally means the humans can't track it, fine. Using it as bait for the humans? Stop it.
Almost all the humans are presented as way too dumb.
- no decent containment systems at the paddock. I mean, the dinosaur escapes by running out of the door. That's it? That's the containment strategy after all the problems of the original park? Unbelievable.
- a reasonably well trained response team. But only 1. So when they fail, the entire containment strategy fails.
- no huge impenetrable wall / barrier / canyon between where they breed the dinosaurs and the park itself. Just not credible.
- the emergency strategy for the people in the park is to... all group up in one place, like a dino buffet! No. That's just, you know, dumb. There would be fast, well rehearsed, emergency evac procedures. There just would.
- the sphere things can just be driven anywhere with no "return to base" command that cannot be over-ridden? NO!
The raptor training bit is quite cool but then the way they pick sides? No.
Now, at a very base, popcorn thrill level, it is reasonable fun. But it could, and should, have been so much more.
Yes, of course all of the safety and human protocols have to fail, otherwise there is no film. But the dinosaurs shouldn't be the ones with all the plans. They should be able to wreak havoc despite the very best efforts of intelligent, diligent, well rehearsed people. Not because there aren't any.
Sorry, but it's a lazy, dumb script, that robs the movie of any sense of wonder or investment in the characters and therefore only delivers a fleetingly entertaining chase B/C movie.
It could have been so much more.
2.5/5
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