I.T. Resignation

Chris · 15 Apr 2004, 14:27

This was apparently a genuine letter of resignation form an employee at Zantex computers in the USA.

His boss resigned soon afterwards.

Dear Mr Baker,

Mr. Baker, as an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common round squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.

In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time.

Sincerely

Darryl Brewer.

Gez · 15 Apr 2004, 14:41

Oh Dear

KebLou · 15 Apr 2004, 14:45

Thats brilliant

I would so do that as well

He must be a vit dumb to not get rid of the evidence, If your going to do something stupid make sure you don't get caught

DIZZY DRUMMER · 15 Apr 2004, 14:51

Chris

Can I borrow that

Heli · 15 Apr 2004, 15:07

I love it!! I can't believe how dumb some people are! My dad works in computers and he know people who are exactly like that boss!!

Shamful really!! Wrong people getting wrong jobs!!

KebLou · 15 Apr 2004, 15:42

Well the people who are like that are normally under my dad now (hes just been promoted to Manager of I.T security, or something like that) but some of the people are really stupid and they don't expect to get caught.

evil nickname · 15 Apr 2004, 18:50

If that's not fake, it would be blackmail.

Modern Girl · 15 Apr 2004, 19:10

Evil Nickname Wrote-

Quote:

If that's not fake, it would be blackmail.

yeah but you gotta admit its funny

KebLou · 15 Apr 2004, 20:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by evil nickname

If that's not fake, it would be blackmail.

and you really think this guy is going to do anything about the blackmail with how mush trouble he would be in, you really think he could do anything about it without people finding out why he was being blackmailed for.

[RDH]draconia · 15 Apr 2004, 21:33

ROFLMAO thanks chris you have made my day

but its now been copy and pasted to some other forums

just to show my other friends

evil nickname · 15 Apr 2004, 21:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by Modern Girl

yeah but you gotta admit its funny :lol: :lol:

well, I do not find it funny, but I do find most things that are posted on the web as being funny not so funny :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by keb

and you really think this guy is going to do anything about the blackmail with how mush trouble he would be in, you really think he could do anything about it without people finding out why he was being blackmailed for.

well, I don't see that much trouble. but that could also be my (very) liberal views on what people can or can't do in their free time. I can see how he could be embarresed, though.
Still, you can't justify blackmail.

KebLou · 16 Apr 2004, 01:32

Evil Nickname- it wasn't in his own spare time and the pictures were taken with work property, he would be in trouble for those, and again the websites depending what kind of sites he was visiting in work time again.
If he hadn't have done it during his working hours and on work equipment and even if he had done it on lets say his own laptop for personal use, to use the net you would have to introduce it to your works environment he could be in trouble for doing that, so all in all he would have been in the wrong anyway.

shadow1000001 · 16 Apr 2004, 01:48

Thanks Chris, that was great

evil nickname · 16 Apr 2004, 01:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by keb

Evil Nickname- it wasn't in his own spare time and the pictures were taken with work property, he would be in trouble for those, and again the websites depending what kind of sites he was visiting in work time again.
If he hadn't have done it during his working hours and on work equipment and even if he had done it on lets say his own laptop for personal use, to use the net you would have to introduce it to your works environment he could be in trouble for doing that, so all in all he would have been in the wrong anyway.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Nickname

Still, you can't justify blackmail.

KebLou · 16 Apr 2004, 02:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Evil Nickname

Still, you can't justify blackmail.

Not saying you can, I'm just pointing out where he was in the wrong.

15 Apr 2004, 14:27	#1
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	I.T. Resignation This was apparently a genuine letter of resignation form an employee at Zantex computers in the USA. His boss resigned soon afterwards. Dear Mr Baker, Mr. Baker, as an employee of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common round squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of myself and my co workers during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know about Unix, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Seeing as this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts. 1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own. 2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favourites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favourably by the administration. 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mothers b-day", you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a ketchup bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please, I hate having to correct your mistakes.) Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never f*** with your systems administrators, because they know what you do with all your free time. Sincerely Darryl Brewer.

15 Apr 2004, 14:41	#2
Gez Knicker thief Join Date: 17.04.2003 Location: auch...not on the fence Posts: 5,633	Oh Dear

15 Apr 2004, 14:45	#3
KebLou Mega Loafer Join Date: 02.03.2004 Location: The Arena of the Unwell Posts: 3,177	Thats brilliant I would so do that as well He must be a vit dumb to not get rid of the evidence, If your going to do something stupid make sure you don't get caught

15 Apr 2004, 14:51	#4
DIZZY DRUMMER Always Ready For A Bang Join Date: 30.11.2003 Location: Left In The Dark .......... AGAIN Posts: 6,389	Chris Can I borrow that

15 Apr 2004, 15:07	#5
Heli Daddy's little internet junkie Join Date: 29.01.2004 Location: Grimsby Posts: 4,596	I love it!! I can't believe how dumb some people are! My dad works in computers and he know people who are exactly like that boss!! Shamful really!! Wrong people getting wrong jobs!!

15 Apr 2004, 15:42	#6
KebLou Mega Loafer Join Date: 02.03.2004 Location: The Arena of the Unwell Posts: 3,177	Well the people who are like that are normally under my dad now (hes just been promoted to Manager of I.T security, or something like that) but some of the people are really stupid and they don't expect to get caught.

15 Apr 2004, 18:50	#7
evil nickname Guest Join Date: 19.04.2003 Posts: 2,238	If that's not fake, it would be blackmail.

15 Apr 2004, 21:33	#10
[RDH]draconia Super Loafer Join Date: 29.10.2003 Location: wickford,essex,england Posts: 374	ROFLMAO thanks chris you have made my day but its now been copy and pasted to some other forums just to show my other friends

16 Apr 2004, 01:32	#12
KebLou Mega Loafer Join Date: 02.03.2004 Location: The Arena of the Unwell Posts: 3,177	Evil Nickname- it wasn't in his own spare time and the pictures were taken with work property, he would be in trouble for those, and again the websites depending what kind of sites he was visiting in work time again. If he hadn't have done it during his working hours and on work equipment and even if he had done it on lets say his own laptop for personal use, to use the net you would have to introduce it to your works environment he could be in trouble for doing that, so all in all he would have been in the wrong anyway.

16 Apr 2004, 01:48	#13
shadow1000001 Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.07.2003 Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada Posts: 2,580	Thanks Chris, that was great