Product liability & warning labels.

R. · 16 Oct 2003, 18:52

Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion
that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying to have you call them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible or worse, bulletproof!

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may disappear.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading factor in having a coyote date.

WARNING: teh consumbtion of allcohol may mack you tink yuo can tipe real gode ...

Hic.

ROSIE · 16 Oct 2003, 18:57

Yes to all of the above

Rosie

shadow1000001 · 16 Oct 2003, 19:41

I love it

Sapphire Lady · 16 Oct 2003, 20:02

Brilliant. I can identify with a number of those unfortunately

Chris · 16 Oct 2003, 20:14

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapphire Lady

Brilliant. I can identify with a number of those unfortunately

Don't worry you are not alone in that!!!!!

Cool R!!

Bigmomma · 16 Oct 2003, 23:54

Thanks R, this was so funny brought many things back to mind
reading this...
kezzina

dottie · 17 Oct 2003, 10:13

Most definitely R. I've had more practise too

Bart · 17 Oct 2003, 10:15

i had practiced

last nite

**The Flying Mouse** · 17 Oct 2003, 10:49

Dammit R.,you could have told us sooner

.
Still,I stand by the philosophy that a problem brought about by beer can only be fixed with more beer

Terri · 17 Oct 2003, 14:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapphire Lady

Brilliant. I can identify with a number of those unfortunately

me too

Chris · 17 Oct 2003, 14:08

Well Mousie, I am very sorry to have to disillusion you but that is not true.

For some problems you need hard liquor!!!

CarolM · 18 Oct 2003, 15:00

i can identify with some of these to R

, oh no what have i said.

tukayaway · 19 Oct 2003, 02:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by R.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may disappear.

All aboard the beer bus! That magical mode of transport that gets you home from the pub to your bed without you remembering a thing.

WARNING - If passengers bed not found, then it will automatically drop you off at the nearest A&E, park bench, or bush.

Chris · 19 Oct 2003, 17:20

Thats something, Why is it that pavements and random bushes are always so much softer and comfier when you are drunk????

original sin · 19 Oct 2003, 20:44

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

Well Mousie, I am very sorry to have to disillusion you but that is not true.

For some problems you need hard liquor!!!

Yep i'll go along with that one ...........hic cup

16 Oct 2003, 18:52	#1
R. You dig. Join Date: 02.04.2002 Location: On the fothermucker Posts: 7,179	Product liability & warning labels. Due to increasing product liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying to have you call them at four in the morning. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you're invisible or worse, bulletproof! WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may disappear. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading factor in having a coyote date. WARNING: teh consumbtion of allcohol may mack you tink yuo can tipe real gode ... Hic.

16 Oct 2003, 18:57	#2
ROSIE Invisible again! Join Date: 30.06.2003 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1,240	Yes to all of the above Rosie

16 Oct 2003, 19:41	#3
shadow1000001 Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.07.2003 Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada Posts: 2,580	I love it

16 Oct 2003, 20:02	#4
Sapphire Lady Mega Loafer Join Date: 21.04.2003 Location: Scotland Posts: 1,213	Brilliant. I can identify with a number of those unfortunately

16 Oct 2003, 23:54	#6
Bigmomma Super Loafer Join Date: 07.07.2003 Location: Somewhere in time in my mind......... Posts: 655	Thanks R, this was so funny brought many things back to mind reading this... kezzina

17 Oct 2003, 10:13	#7
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	Most definitely R. I've had more practise too

17 Oct 2003, 10:15	#8
Bart Bald Mega Loafer Join Date: 06.03.2003 Location: Holland, but I prefer Greece Posts: 2,243	i had practiced last nite

17 Oct 2003, 10:49	#9
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	Dammit R.,you could have told us sooner . Still,I stand by the philosophy that a problem brought about by beer can only be fixed with more beer

17 Oct 2003, 14:08	#11
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Well Mousie, I am very sorry to have to disillusion you but that is not true. For some problems you need hard liquor!!!

18 Oct 2003, 15:00	#12
CarolM Mega Loafer Join Date: 15.06.2003 Location: Near The End Of The Line Posts: 1,498	i can identify with some of these to R , oh no what have i said.

19 Oct 2003, 17:20	#14
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Thats something, Why is it that pavements and random bushes are always so much softer and comfier when you are drunk????