Dilemma

Biter · 04 Aug 2004, 22:48

Ok, this is not a joke...

I have been offered a job on a P+O cruise liner as a waitress, chambermaid or barmaid. When I was first told about it I was sitting mt GCSE mocks and thought it was a good idea...get out of school, see the world and get paid for it, etc, etc.
Then I was told I couldn't train because I was under 18 and the insurance only covers people over 18. Big problem. I had already declined my place at Sixth Form and it was given to a student at another school. So I decided to look at some colleges. I found some really good courses and decided I would do a two year course and hopefully qualify and go to university, putting the job on hold for a few years. I discussed this with my parents and was told in no uncertain terms that I won't amount to anything if I dont get this job. They also want me to go to sea because they want to knock down my bedroom wall and extend the living room (we are in a bungalow). If I don't get the job, they will disown me and I will have to find somewhere else to live.
I am so hurt and confused. I can't move out because I have no money and the rest of my family live far away. I have left it too late to get a place at college this year and nobody wants to employ me. I just don't know what to do. I just wanted to get this out in the open and see if anyone has any suggestions on what I should do.

Sorry to be such a miserable cow.

**The Flying Mouse** · 05 Aug 2004, 12:23

Sorry, no offence intended, but it sounds like your parents are being real jerks about this

.
Most parents would do the complete opposite.Tell you to get an education before you went and did what you wanna do, but your parents are pushing you away from the education and onto a ship

.

As you are under 18, you won't be able to work at sea yet.Your parents will have to accept that.Unless they want to petition the goverment for a change in maritime law

, there's not much else they can do about it.They will just have to accept it.

Telling you that you'll never ammount to anything if you don't get this job.What in God's name is that all about?

It's a (hotel) staff position on a cruise ship, not a job as a brain surgeon

It sounds like they are obsessed with this idea of knocking down walls in their house.
You can either.....

1.Tell your family doctor that your parents have come down with an uncontrolable urge to knock the walls of their house down, and have them commited

2.Instead of going to sea, enroll in college on a house building course.You can then do the work for your parents, charge them a very large fee, and go buy yourself a condo

.

3.Instead of going to sea, send them to sea.The merchant navy never has enough oarsmen

.

But anyway, on a more practical note.....
Don't give up on the cruise ship idea.
You might not be able to go now, but go for it when your 18.
I went away to sea for two years as an Assistant Cruise Manager, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world

.It's a fun job, and great experience.It is something you should do when your young though.Before you get any, shall we say, "land based commitments"

.I've seen a lot of relationships break up because one partner spends a lot of time at sea

.
Just don't go chasing all those tanned, white uniformed officers.Stick to the set your sights on the Entertainment Managers.They're all thoughouly nice chaps

Hope everything works out OK.

Gez · 05 Aug 2004, 14:06

Being a parent myself I would advise you to lie about your age and go to sea, not that they want rid of you or anything. Maybe think about a wee bro. or sister while your away.
If you term yourself as a 'miserable cow'...*WOW*...sounds like your parents think so too

.

You could always go to college and do as college people do....get drunk, party, orgies, drugs and eh, Study.

Do what you wanna do...........you know being Female that you will do that anyway!!

DIZZY DRUMMER · 05 Aug 2004, 19:06

All I have to say is if parents can't support their child in what they want to do - whether a job or college the they SUCK!!!

I have a 16 yr old daughter and would never tell her to take a job so I can knock the house around. If they extend the living room into your bedroom - does that mean you don't even have that

My daughter has her room for life - whatever

Flying Mouse wrote:

Quote:

Telling you that you'll never ammount to anything if you don't get this job.What in God's name is that all about?

It's a (hotel) staff position on a cruise ship, not a job as a brain surgeon

I agree with Neil - they should not say things like that - you will amount to more if you go to college & you can still go to sea when you are 18 & with a better education

Heli · 05 Aug 2004, 20:14

My dear friend...I'm guessing your 16??

Well do what every other 16 year old does....go against their parents wishes!

Don't get this job, carry on school and then college!
Don't leave home just for their benefit!

I find it totally not fair on how their treating you! It's child abuse! It's got to be!

Now I suggest that you go make your room a mess, turn your music on loud and then go sit in the living room with the tv on loud!!

Now if that won't annoy them....you havn't got things loud enough!!

Biter · 05 Aug 2004, 22:42

Oh my god, I never thought anyone would reply to this. Thanks for all your support and suggestions guys, it makes me feel better to know I have some friends on my side...
Well, I am going to go when I'm 18 because I've just found out I can study online and take the exams while on leave, so thats good. I have enrolled for night classes at a local college doing the things I wanted to do in the first place, such as advanced guitar, languages, english literature and reiki massage (don't ask). So that leaves the day free for me to work. Yes, my 'parents' are very pushy and want me out because of stupid disagreements. So everything is better than it was before. If things get worse, I can move in with my friends.

*lots of gratitude*
Thank you x

DIZZY DRUMMER · 05 Aug 2004, 23:06

Biter - good luck in all you do

Hope it works out OK

KebLou · 06 Aug 2004, 00:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heli

My dear friend...I'm guessing your 16??

Well do what every other 16 year old does....go against their parents wishes!

Don't get this job, carry on school and then college!
Don't leave home just for their benefit!

I find it totally not fair on how their treating you! It's child abuse! It's got to be!

Now I suggest that you go make your room a mess, turn your music on loud and then go sit in the living room with the tv on loud!!

Now if that won't annoy them....you havn't got things loud enough!!

I don't go against my parents.

But I do think its wrong in what they are saying, if I had the choice of working or staying at school, if I went and starting working my parents would then possibly say I won't amount to anything.
Do what you want to do.

Pudding · 06 Aug 2004, 03:00

OK here's my 2 cents.

From what I understand you're 16 (maybe 17)
You want to earn money
Your parents want you out of the house
You want an education

You could at that age with your parents permission join the Army and go to somewhere like Princess Marina College at Arborfield or somewhere. Maybe the Navy or Airforce do similar things.

Click HERE for more information

Pud

airhead · 06 Aug 2004, 18:05

OI!!!! JENNA!!!!!

LIVE WITH ME!!!!! YOU KNOW WHERE I AM!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!!

ahem... just letting you know i'm there for ya...

seriously, jenna, if you ever ever ever find yourself without a home, i am only in clacton, a few miles on a train. Just pay rent with a choc bar every now and then and you'll be cool!

((((hugsy))))

Rob The Badger · 06 Aug 2004, 18:34

Pudding's idea is actually pretty sensible.

Pudding · 07 Aug 2004, 01:29

I'm actually speaking with a little bit of experience Rob. Although I never went to any military colleges I have friends that have and the benefits they received are unbelievable.

A lot of people see the Army as a bunch of neanderthals (sp?) running around the countryside eating live rabbits, well that's simply not true................for the most part

Pud

**The Flying Mouse** · 07 Aug 2004, 19:38

I might have to lock this thread before Rob & Pud actually agree on something

.

Heli · 12 Aug 2004, 22:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by THE FLYING MOUSE

I might have to lock this thread before Rob & Pud actually agree on something

.

Ahhhhh!! lock it now!! NOW I SAY!!

Far too creepy! *shudders down my spine*

Biter · 13 Aug 2004, 00:38

Update on screwy parents/job thingy -

My uncle works for P+O. He had a word with his bosses, pulled a few strings and got me a position in either miami or spain (not joking

)

I am now thinking about moving in with my weird gay boyfriends who seem to be mentally deficient (fun!

)

and

my lovely weird dad has blown his top at what I have tol him about the job, and informed my wonderful parents that if I am kicked out, I will live with him in Norway (icy cool

)

Mother dearest apologised (result!!!)

Life is definitely sweeter.

Thank you all for replying to this, I have great respect for everyone here.

Pudding - sorry for ranting at you in the Nirvana thread

I hate thinking that I've upset somebody...

Pudding · 13 Aug 2004, 03:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Biter

Pudding - sorry for ranting at you in the Nirvana thread

I hate thinking that I've upset somebody...

Don't worry about it. Hell we're not f*cking robots with the same thoughts and what a crap place it would be if we were.

I'm glad things are working out for you. I know that certain things at your age are very confusing and you don't know which path to take. I've been there, seen it, done it and have the experience as a result.

Pud

Steinfan1978 · 13 Aug 2004, 10:19

so.... can I go live in Norway with your dad??????

Please????????

Klasien

Biter · 13 Aug 2004, 14:41

Sure, as long as you don't mind waking up at 6am every morning to the sound of death metal at full volume...

Steinfan1978 · 13 Aug 2004, 20:01

hhmmmm.... on second thought....

Klasien
reconsidering.....

04 Aug 2004, 22:48	#1
Biter Lurker Join Date: 12.07.2004 Location: Kent Posts: 1,067	Dilemma Ok, this is not a joke... I have been offered a job on a P+O cruise liner as a waitress, chambermaid or barmaid. When I was first told about it I was sitting mt GCSE mocks and thought it was a good idea...get out of school, see the world and get paid for it, etc, etc. Then I was told I couldn't train because I was under 18 and the insurance only covers people over 18. Big problem. I had already declined my place at Sixth Form and it was given to a student at another school. So I decided to look at some colleges. I found some really good courses and decided I would do a two year course and hopefully qualify and go to university, putting the job on hold for a few years. I discussed this with my parents and was told in no uncertain terms that I won't amount to anything if I dont get this job. They also want me to go to sea because they want to knock down my bedroom wall and extend the living room (we are in a bungalow). If I don't get the job, they will disown me and I will have to find somewhere else to live. I am so hurt and confused. I can't move out because I have no money and the rest of my family live far away. I have left it too late to get a place at college this year and nobody wants to employ me. I just don't know what to do. I just wanted to get this out in the open and see if anyone has any suggestions on what I should do. Sorry to be such a miserable cow.

05 Aug 2004, 12:23	#2
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	Sorry, no offence intended, but it sounds like your parents are being real jerks about this . Most parents would do the complete opposite.Tell you to get an education before you went and did what you wanna do, but your parents are pushing you away from the education and onto a ship . As you are under 18, you won't be able to work at sea yet.Your parents will have to accept that.Unless they want to petition the goverment for a change in maritime law , there's not much else they can do about it.They will just have to accept it. Telling you that you'll never ammount to anything if you don't get this job.What in God's name is that all about? It's a (hotel) staff position on a cruise ship, not a job as a brain surgeon It sounds like they are obsessed with this idea of knocking down walls in their house. You can either..... 1.Tell your family doctor that your parents have come down with an uncontrolable urge to knock the walls of their house down, and have them commited 2.Instead of going to sea, enroll in college on a house building course.You can then do the work for your parents, charge them a very large fee, and go buy yourself a condo . 3.Instead of going to sea, send them to sea.The merchant navy never has enough oarsmen . But anyway, on a more practical note..... Don't give up on the cruise ship idea. You might not be able to go now, but go for it when your 18. I went away to sea for two years as an Assistant Cruise Manager, and I wouldn't have missed it for the world .It's a fun job, and great experience.It is something you should do when your young though.Before you get any, shall we say, "land based commitments" .I've seen a lot of relationships break up because one partner spends a lot of time at sea . Just don't go chasing all those tanned, white uniformed officers.Stick to the set your sights on the Entertainment Managers.They're all thoughouly nice chaps Hope everything works out OK.

05 Aug 2004, 14:06	#3
Gez Knicker thief Join Date: 17.04.2003 Location: auch...not on the fence Posts: 5,633	Being a parent myself I would advise you to lie about your age and go to sea, not that they want rid of you or anything. Maybe think about a wee bro. or sister while your away. If you term yourself as a 'miserable cow'...WOW...sounds like your parents think so too . You could always go to college and do as college people do....get drunk, party, orgies, drugs and eh, Study. Do what you wanna do...........you know being Female that you will do that anyway!!

05 Aug 2004, 20:14	#5
Heli Daddy's little internet junkie Join Date: 29.01.2004 Location: Grimsby Posts: 4,596	My dear friend...I'm guessing your 16?? Well do what every other 16 year old does....go against their parents wishes! Don't get this job, carry on school and then college! Don't leave home just for their benefit! I find it totally not fair on how their treating you! It's child abuse! It's got to be! Now I suggest that you go make your room a mess, turn your music on loud and then go sit in the living room with the tv on loud!! Now if that won't annoy them....you havn't got things loud enough!!

05 Aug 2004, 22:42	#6
Biter Lurker Join Date: 12.07.2004 Location: Kent Posts: 1,067	Oh my god, I never thought anyone would reply to this. Thanks for all your support and suggestions guys, it makes me feel better to know I have some friends on my side... Well, I am going to go when I'm 18 because I've just found out I can study online and take the exams while on leave, so thats good. I have enrolled for night classes at a local college doing the things I wanted to do in the first place, such as advanced guitar, languages, english literature and reiki massage (don't ask). So that leaves the day free for me to work. Yes, my 'parents' are very pushy and want me out because of stupid disagreements. So everything is better than it was before. If things get worse, I can move in with my friends. lots of gratitude Thank you x

05 Aug 2004, 23:06	#7
DIZZY DRUMMER Always Ready For A Bang Join Date: 30.11.2003 Location: Left In The Dark .......... AGAIN Posts: 6,389	Biter - good luck in all you do Hope it works out OK

06 Aug 2004, 03:00	#9
Pudding I'm A Prize Fight Lover... Join Date: 22.10.2003 Location: New Zealand Posts: 5,532	OK here's my 2 cents. From what I understand you're 16 (maybe 17) You want to earn money Your parents want you out of the house You want an education You could at that age with your parents permission join the Army and go to somewhere like Princess Marina College at Arborfield or somewhere. Maybe the Navy or Airforce do similar things. Click HERE for more information Pud

06 Aug 2004, 18:05	#10
airhead the enchanted spleen Join Date: 12.02.2004 Location: ok, you see that sweet little cottage? I live next door in the nuthouse. Posts: 1,909	OI!!!! JENNA!!!!! LIVE WITH ME!!!!! YOU KNOW WHERE I AM!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME!!!!! ahem... just letting you know i'm there for ya... seriously, jenna, if you ever ever ever find yourself without a home, i am only in clacton, a few miles on a train. Just pay rent with a choc bar every now and then and you'll be cool! ((((hugsy))))

06 Aug 2004, 18:34	#11
Rob The Badger Too sexy for this post Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Manchester, UK Posts: 2,895	Pudding's idea is actually pretty sensible.

07 Aug 2004, 01:29	#12
Pudding I'm A Prize Fight Lover... Join Date: 22.10.2003 Location: New Zealand Posts: 5,532	I'm actually speaking with a little bit of experience Rob. Although I never went to any military colleges I have friends that have and the benefits they received are unbelievable. A lot of people see the Army as a bunch of neanderthals (sp?) running around the countryside eating live rabbits, well that's simply not true................for the most part Pud

07 Aug 2004, 19:38	#13
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	I might have to lock this thread before Rob & Pud actually agree on something .

13 Aug 2004, 00:38	#15
Biter Lurker Join Date: 12.07.2004 Location: Kent Posts: 1,067	Update on screwy parents/job thingy - My uncle works for P+O. He had a word with his bosses, pulled a few strings and got me a position in either miami or spain (not joking ) I am now thinking about moving in with my weird gay boyfriends who seem to be mentally deficient (fun! ) and my lovely weird dad has blown his top at what I have tol him about the job, and informed my wonderful parents that if I am kicked out, I will live with him in Norway (icy cool ) Mother dearest apologised (result!!!) Life is definitely sweeter. Thank you all for replying to this, I have great respect for everyone here. Pudding - sorry for ranting at you in the Nirvana thread I hate thinking that I've upset somebody...

13 Aug 2004, 10:19	#17
Steinfan1978 Super Loafer Join Date: 11.11.2003 Posts: 303	so.... can I go live in Norway with your dad?????? Please???????? Klasien

13 Aug 2004, 14:41	#18
Biter Lurker Join Date: 12.07.2004 Location: Kent Posts: 1,067	Sure, as long as you don't mind waking up at 6am every morning to the sound of death metal at full volume...

13 Aug 2004, 20:01	#19
Steinfan1978 Super Loafer Join Date: 11.11.2003 Posts: 303	hhmmmm.... on second thought.... Klasien reconsidering.....