Announcements from actual Church Bulletins

[Hypnobabe]

• Thursday night -- potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

• For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

• This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.

• Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.

• Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers, please see the minister in his study.

• This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

• The service will close with "Little Drops Of Water." One of the ladies will start quietly, and the rest of the congregation will join in.

• A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" -- come early and listen to our choir practice.

• Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

• "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

• The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

• Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

• Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.

• The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

• Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

• Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

• The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

• The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

• Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday. Please use the back door.

• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7:00 p.m. The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

• Weight Watchers will meet at 7:00 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

[Cpl Mickey]

I Love those

[mszee]

Wow...these are great!!!

You're on a roll!!!