Original Sin's Agony Page. - Page 7

Bren · 31 May 2003, 13:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim

Dear Aunt Sin, i will give it a shot!!

Dear Bren and Heat.

I know you are going away, but i want to say to you that we will miss you. Maybe i will open a special topic about you to. So that you can see that you are always with us in heart and mind.
Don't worry about the postwhoring thread. See it as a way to escape to the busy days here on the site... see it as a way to get inspiration and set yourself free!!!

The Butcher and Uncle in this forum, Tim

AAAAHHHHH!!! Thankyou uncle Tim

......see you are a kind and caring ,lovely person, Tim The Butcher

(Uncle Tim)

Bren · 31 May 2003, 13:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by Testify

i have a problem uncle tim,

my friends think im insane!!!

HELP ME!!

Hi Testify,and welcome,"insane"...don't worry about it!!!,i got told i was certifiable!!! sounds to me like you'll fit in perfectly around here......isn't that right,Aunty Sin and Uncle Tim????

original sin · 31 May 2003, 13:44

Bren
It's a bit like the sign you see in the work place " You don't have to be mad to work here but if you are it helps!"
I do hope you have survived forum deprivation with no untoward side effects and are fit to pstwhore 'til you drop

Bren · 31 May 2003, 22:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by original sin

I do hope you have survived forum deprivation with no untoward side effects and are fit to pstwhore 'til you drop

Dear AUNTY TIM ,and UNCLE SIN,
i returned from my holiday early as i wasn't well,do you think this is due to prolonged Forum Deprivation????Iam too tired to sleep and i have tried with heart and soul to postwhore,but the brain's not working too well.Are these recognisable side effects of Forum Deprivation???

Please help Aunty Sin and Uncle Tim

Chris · 31 May 2003, 22:56

HELP,

People are saying that i am paranoid - well, not saying it to my face but they are thinking it, I can tell.

I think they are jealous because the little voices are talking to me and not them!!!! What should I do?

original sin · 31 May 2003, 23:29

Bren wrote Quote Dear AUNTY TIM ,and UNCLE SIN,
i returned from my holiday early as i wasn't well,do you think this is due to prolonged Forum Deprivation????Iam too tired to sleep and i have tried with heart and soul to postwhore,but the brain's not working too well.Are these recognisable side effects of Forum Deprivation???
Please help Aunty Sin and Uncle Tim[/quote]

Dear Bren

This is indeed one of the side affects that I was worried about........and I'm sorry to say there is no quick fix cure

Holidays tend to made you unware of time and affect the body clock which is why you are experiencing problems with sleeping and brain function

I would suggest that you slowly work your way through a bottle of whatever takes your fancy! and then you wont care about side affects and can post 'til you drop. Then when you drop........It will ensure you get a good rest and can return to your former glory!
Just remember the two cure alls in life are Meat Loaf and alcohol

and actually a third.....chocolate.....follow this regime and all will be well

original sin · 31 May 2003, 23:41

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

HELP,
People are saying that i am paranoid - well, not saying it to my face but they are thinking it, I can tell.
I think they are jealous because the little voices are talking to me and not them!!!! What should I do?

Chris

This appears to be an advanced case of paranoia

However all is not lost. Just remember the following:-
1/ If people are talking about you they are leaving someone else alone

2/ They are definately jealous and lonely because they don't hear the voices

If the voices are too loud and you can't hear Meat Loaf playing then you do have a serious problem

which can be solved very simply by washing your ears out......the most effective way to do this is to place your head in the toilet bowl and get someone to pulll the chain

If the voices are issuing instructions this can be dangerous and the best way to cure this is to blast them out with Meat Loaf at full volume......sometimes they will leave you alone if you deny their existance and the best way to do this is to publicaly humiliate them.......find a crowded shopping centre stand in the middle and shout loudly " begone voices you have no power over me"

Hope this helps

Aunty Sin

Bren · 01 Jun 2003, 00:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by original sin

Bren wrote Quote Dear AUNTY TIM ,and UNCLE SIN,
i returned from my holiday early as i wasn't well,do you think this is due to prolonged Forum Deprivation????Iam too tired to sleep and i have tried with heart and soul to postwhore,but the brain's not working too well.Are these recognisable side effects of Forum Deprivation???
Please help Aunty Sin and Uncle Tim

Dear Bren

This is indeed one of the side affects that I was worried about........and I'm sorry to say there is no quick fix cure

Holidays tend to made you unware of time and affect the body clock which is why you are experiencing problems with sleeping and brain function

I would suggest that you slowly work your way through a bottle of whatever takes your fancy! and then you wont care about side affects and can post 'til you drop. Then when you drop........It will ensure you get a good rest and can return to your former glory!
Just remember the two cure alls in life are Meat Loaf and alcohol

and actually a third.....chocolate.....follow this regime and all will be well[/quote]

Thankyou for your advice AUnty Sin,...but i don't drink,alcohol and i'm allergic to chocolate!!!

heat · 01 Jun 2003, 00:14

Just the sex for you then, eh, Bren???

Heat
xxx

original sin · 01 Jun 2003, 00:26

Quote:

Originally Posted by heat

Just the sex for you then, eh, Bren???

Heat
xxx

The other option was Meat Loaf but maybe we could link the two some how?

BTW probably best not to further this thought........

don't wanna get locked now

heat · 01 Jun 2003, 00:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by original sin

Quote:

Originally Posted by heat

Just the sex for you then, eh, Bren???

Heat
xxx

The other option was Meat Loaf but maybe we could link the two some how?

BTW probably best not to further this thought........

don't wanna get locked now

As if i'd do a thing like that.........

But then again

:P

Heat
xxx

Chris · 01 Jun 2003, 15:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by original sin

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

HELP,
People are saying that i am paranoid - well, not saying it to my face but they are thinking it, I can tell.
I think they are jealous because the little voices are talking to me and not them!!!! What should I do?

Chris

This appears to be an advanced case of paranoia

However all is not lost. Just remember the following:-
1/ If people are talking about you they are leaving someone else alone

2/ They are definately jealous and lonely because they don't hear the voices

If the voices are too loud and you can't hear Meat Loaf playing then you do have a serious problem

which can be solved very simply by washing your ears out......the most effective way to do this is to place your head in the toilet bowl and get someone to pulll the chain

If the voices are issuing instructions this can be dangerous and the best way to cure this is to blast them out with Meat Loaf at full volume......sometimes they will leave you alone if you deny their existance and the best way to do this is to publicaly humiliate them.......find a crowded shopping centre stand in the middle and shout loudly " begone voices you have no power over me"

Hope this helps

Aunty Sin

thank you for the advice

The voices are still here but I am now banned from the local shopping centre!!!!!

And the weird nutter outside WHSmiths thinks he has found a soul mate!

original sin · 01 Jun 2003, 22:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chris

The voices are still here but I am now banned from the local shopping centre!!!!!
And the weird nutter outside WHSmiths thinks he has found a soul mate!

Chris

A friend in the darkness is worth a diamond mine

You should return to the shopping centre and ask if they have heard of the convention for human rights and tell them you are going to the European court of human rights and that the voices are also suing!

As the voices are still with you we may have to consider either electric shock therapy, for this you will need to suck 3 9v batteries per day for two weeks.....

or it could be demonic possession.....so it may be worth a visit to the local vicar just to check

Chris · 02 Jun 2003, 22:45

Help me please!!!!

I arranged last week to collect my wonderful, caring, loving, gorgous (just in case she reads this) girlfriend from work on Sunday night.

However, come sunday i went to a BBQ in the afternoon and had a little drinkie-poos or too and forgot about her!! She got taxi home and rang me later that night to find out why i didn't pick her up!!

It did not go down well when she discovered that I spent the evening in the mlukfc chatroom, drinking beer and offering around choccie cake!!!!

I took her soem flowers and choccies to work today,

what else can i do?

original sin · 03 Jun 2003, 00:02

Dear Chris

Firstly I need to say

I think you are very lucky that you never lost any vital parts of your anatomy

and for this you need to be eternally grateful to this extremely forgiving lady. I will not even begin to describe what I would have done to you

Now to make up for this very disgracful behaviour of yours I think you need to pay a very heavy penance

You have started well with flowers and choccies however lets be imaginative over this, as indeed it was a dastardly crime

I woould suggest that you:-
* hire a town crier and proclaim both your love and remorse
* Lunch would be a good idea.........preferably somewhere stylish.......Paris for instance
* Diamonds work wonders
* Volunteer to be a slave for a day.....this could have big pay back

* Give her a foot massage
* Treat her to a new outfit......including shoes and handbag

However if want to take the easy option you could deny responsibility and blame it on the voices

*

Chris · 03 Jun 2003, 01:32

I think I have now been forgiven!! <phew>

I decided not to blame it on the voices but said I ahd been corrupted by others (probably best if Heat, Fel, R. and everyone else from chat does not go within 25 miles of her for a while!!)

<EDIT>
As an addendum to this, total forgivness was achieved today as she was driving to work when the DJ dedicated 4 songs in a row to her:

1. Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson
2. The most beautiful girl in the world - Dr Hook
3. Wind beneath my wings - Bette Midler
4. Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Elton John

Hows that for soppy romanticism!!!!

Bren · 03 Jun 2003, 23:53

Dear Aunty Sin (dont know whats become of uncle Tim, he seems to have disappeared...)
this brings me to my point. everybody has dissappeared, except me (at least i hope i'm still here), i dont even have the voices, like chris has... does this mean that my eyesight has failed completley, and i just cant see anyone. or is everybody avoiding me????

original sin · 04 Jun 2003, 00:33

Bren

I too am deeply perplexed by Uncle Tim's absence

I feel though that he is visiting and keeping and eye on things as his presence has been noted

I can only assume that he is wrapped up

either in the new love of his life

or still in the packaging in Heat's house

Either way I'm sure he's fine and will join us shortly

In the meantime to waylay your worries I think you should book an opticians appointment to check your eyesight! a hearing test because it's just not normal not to hear voices! but I don't think you need the psycologist yet as your not being ignored

original sin · 04 Jun 2003, 00:36

[quote="Chris"]<EDIT>
As an addendum to this, total forgivness was achieved today as she was driving to work when the DJ dedicated 4 songs in a row to her:

1. Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson
2. The most beautiful girl in the world - Dr Hook
3. Wind beneath my wings - Bette Midler
4. Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Elton John

Hows that for soppy romanticism!!!!

Chris

Well done, you have acknowledged and shown remorse and in a public way which has shown your determination

But I still think she deseveres at least one of my previous suggestions

Just for blaming us lot

Bren · 04 Jun 2003, 00:42

Quote:

Originally Posted by original sin

Bren

I too am deeply perplexed by Uncle Tim's absence

I feel though that he is visiting and keeping and eye on things as his presence has been noted

I can only assume that he is wrapped up

either in the new love of his life

or still in the packaging in Heat's house

Either way I'm sure he's fine and will join us shortly

roflmao

heat · 04 Jun 2003, 00:44

Dear Aunty Sin,

I have a problem. I have a package, a rather large man-shaped pakage. It's in under the stairs as i can't open it without the hubbs getting suspiscious - that and the fact that i cant quite snag the tape to undo it, and i don't want to use scissors as i might hurt what's inside

Have tried to get hubbs out of the house for an hour or so, but he always comes back before i get chance to open it.

Oh, Aunty Sin, whatever shall i do????

Heat
xxx

Bren · 04 Jun 2003, 00:49

original sin · 04 Jun 2003, 01:07

Heat

There are several options open to you to resolve this.....
You could offer Hubby some house keeping money and tell him he's such a dear he deserves a night down the pub

......leaving you free to sort out the package.

With regard to the package itself I would suggest that whilst you are attempting to open it you take a small skewer and made some small air holes around the mouth/nose area.

Can you lift the pacakage? If so try to get it into the bath/shower and let the wrapping soak off.........but remember to support the head part out of the water

Failing that bring a bucket of water to the package and care fully soak areas if you do legs and arms fisrt you may find that the package is then able to assist itself.

It is said that desperate needs call for desperate measures and if you are still stuggling you could try burning small areas........you should do this with a lighter and have plenty of water handy!!!

If you can burn a small hole in a cavity area

or were packaging is looser you will then be able to rip the rest apart

Hope this helps

Aunty Sin

heat · 04 Jun 2003, 01:12

[quote="original sin"]Heat

There are several options open to you to resolve this.....
You could offer Hubby some house keeping money and tell him he's such a dear he deserves a night down the pub

......leaving you free to sort out the package.

With regard to the package itself I would suggest that whilst you are attempting to open it you take a small skewer and made some small air holes around the mouth/nose area.

Can you lift the pacakage? If so try to get it into the bath/shower and let the wrapping soak off.........but remember to support the head part out of the water

Thanks ever-so, aunty sin, but i fear that it may be too late for help...i have tried moving the aforementioned package, but it seems to be quite hard and stiff

Now normaly i wouln't complain :P , but the thing is, it's starting to give out a rather noxious smell

Hubby hasn't noticed as yet, but there are only so many jos - sticks i can burn

What to do???

Heat
xxx

original sin · 04 Jun 2003, 01:38

Whoops the advice about the air holes may have been a tad late then

Go buy a large lampshade stick in on top and tell hubby is a new modern lamp.........stock up on joss sticks and air freshner........

alternatively you could call a removal company tell them you are moving give a ficticious address and say that it's only the package that needs moving

31 May 2003, 13:44	#153
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	Bren It's a bit like the sign you see in the work place " You don't have to be mad to work here but if you are it helps!" I do hope you have survived forum deprivation with no untoward side effects and are fit to pstwhore 'til you drop

31 May 2003, 22:56	#155
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	HELP, People are saying that i am paranoid - well, not saying it to my face but they are thinking it, I can tell. I think they are jealous because the little voices are talking to me and not them!!!! What should I do?

31 May 2003, 23:29	#156
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	Bren wrote Quote Dear AUNTY TIM ,and UNCLE SIN, i returned from my holiday early as i wasn't well,do you think this is due to prolonged Forum Deprivation????Iam too tired to sleep and i have tried with heart and soul to postwhore,but the brain's not working too well.Are these recognisable side effects of Forum Deprivation??? Please help Aunty Sin and Uncle Tim[/quote] Dear Bren This is indeed one of the side affects that I was worried about........and I'm sorry to say there is no quick fix cure Holidays tend to made you unware of time and affect the body clock which is why you are experiencing problems with sleeping and brain function I would suggest that you slowly work your way through a bottle of whatever takes your fancy! and then you wont care about side affects and can post 'til you drop. Then when you drop........It will ensure you get a good rest and can return to your former glory! Just remember the two cure alls in life are Meat Loaf and alcohol and actually a third.....chocolate.....follow this regime and all will be well

01 Jun 2003, 00:14	#159
heat Rampant Loafer... Join Date: 29.07.2002 Location: welshy wales Posts: 5,706	Just the sex for you then, eh, Bren??? Heat xxx

02 Jun 2003, 22:45	#164
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Help me please!!!! I arranged last week to collect my wonderful, caring, loving, gorgous (just in case she reads this) girlfriend from work on Sunday night. However, come sunday i went to a BBQ in the afternoon and had a little drinkie-poos or too and forgot about her!! She got taxi home and rang me later that night to find out why i didn't pick her up!! It did not go down well when she discovered that I spent the evening in the mlukfc chatroom, drinking beer and offering around choccie cake!!!! I took her soem flowers and choccies to work today, what else can i do?

03 Jun 2003, 00:02	#165
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	Dear Chris Firstly I need to say I think you are very lucky that you never lost any vital parts of your anatomy and for this you need to be eternally grateful to this extremely forgiving lady. I will not even begin to describe what I would have done to you Now to make up for this very disgracful behaviour of yours I think you need to pay a very heavy penance You have started well with flowers and choccies however lets be imaginative over this, as indeed it was a dastardly crime I woould suggest that you:- * hire a town crier and proclaim both your love and remorse * Lunch would be a good idea.........preferably somewhere stylish.......Paris for instance * Diamonds work wonders * Volunteer to be a slave for a day.....this could have big pay back * Give her a foot massage * Treat her to a new outfit......including shoes and handbag However if want to take the easy option you could deny responsibility and blame it on the voices *

03 Jun 2003, 01:32	#166
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	I think I have now been forgiven!! <phew> I decided not to blame it on the voices but said I ahd been corrupted by others (probably best if Heat, Fel, R. and everyone else from chat does not go within 25 miles of her for a while!!) <EDIT> As an addendum to this, total forgivness was achieved today as she was driving to work when the DJ dedicated 4 songs in a row to her: 1. Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson 2. The most beautiful girl in the world - Dr Hook 3. Wind beneath my wings - Bette Midler 4. Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Elton John Hows that for soppy romanticism!!!!

03 Jun 2003, 23:53	#167
Bren The Bat Join Date: 23.03.2003 Location: Roosting on a Silver-Black Phantom Bike. Posts: 10,017	Dear Aunty Sin (dont know whats become of uncle Tim, he seems to have disappeared...) this brings me to my point. everybody has dissappeared, except me (at least i hope i'm still here), i dont even have the voices, like chris has... does this mean that my eyesight has failed completley, and i just cant see anyone. or is everybody avoiding me????

04 Jun 2003, 00:33	#168
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	Bren I too am deeply perplexed by Uncle Tim's absence I feel though that he is visiting and keeping and eye on things as his presence has been noted I can only assume that he is wrapped up either in the new love of his life or still in the packaging in Heat's house Either way I'm sure he's fine and will join us shortly In the meantime to waylay your worries I think you should book an opticians appointment to check your eyesight! a hearing test because it's just not normal not to hear voices! but I don't think you need the psycologist yet as your not being ignored

04 Jun 2003, 00:36	#169
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	[quote="Chris"]<EDIT> As an addendum to this, total forgivness was achieved today as she was driving to work when the DJ dedicated 4 songs in a row to her: 1. Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson 2. The most beautiful girl in the world - Dr Hook 3. Wind beneath my wings - Bette Midler 4. Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Elton John Hows that for soppy romanticism!!!! Chris Well done, you have acknowledged and shown remorse and in a public way which has shown your determination But I still think she deseveres at least one of my previous suggestions Just for blaming us lot

04 Jun 2003, 00:44	#171
heat Rampant Loafer... Join Date: 29.07.2002 Location: welshy wales Posts: 5,706	Dear Aunty Sin, I have a problem. I have a package, a rather large man-shaped pakage. It's in under the stairs as i can't open it without the hubbs getting suspiscious - that and the fact that i cant quite snag the tape to undo it, and i don't want to use scissors as i might hurt what's inside Have tried to get hubbs out of the house for an hour or so, but he always comes back before i get chance to open it. Oh, Aunty Sin, whatever shall i do???? Heat xxx

04 Jun 2003, 00:49	#172
Bren The Bat Join Date: 23.03.2003 Location: Roosting on a Silver-Black Phantom Bike. Posts: 10,017

04 Jun 2003, 01:07	#173
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	Heat There are several options open to you to resolve this..... You could offer Hubby some house keeping money and tell him he's such a dear he deserves a night down the pub ......leaving you free to sort out the package. With regard to the package itself I would suggest that whilst you are attempting to open it you take a small skewer and made some small air holes around the mouth/nose area. Can you lift the pacakage? If so try to get it into the bath/shower and let the wrapping soak off.........but remember to support the head part out of the water Failing that bring a bucket of water to the package and care fully soak areas if you do legs and arms fisrt you may find that the package is then able to assist itself. It is said that desperate needs call for desperate measures and if you are still stuggling you could try burning small areas........you should do this with a lighter and have plenty of water handy!!! If you can burn a small hole in a cavity area or were packaging is looser you will then be able to rip the rest apart Hope this helps Aunty Sin

04 Jun 2003, 01:12	#174
heat Rampant Loafer... Join Date: 29.07.2002 Location: welshy wales Posts: 5,706	[quote="original sin"]Heat There are several options open to you to resolve this..... You could offer Hubby some house keeping money and tell him he's such a dear he deserves a night down the pub ......leaving you free to sort out the package. With regard to the package itself I would suggest that whilst you are attempting to open it you take a small skewer and made some small air holes around the mouth/nose area. Can you lift the pacakage? If so try to get it into the bath/shower and let the wrapping soak off.........but remember to support the head part out of the water Thanks ever-so, aunty sin, but i fear that it may be too late for help...i have tried moving the aforementioned package, but it seems to be quite hard and stiff Now normaly i wouln't complain :P , but the thing is, it's starting to give out a rather noxious smell Hubby hasn't noticed as yet, but there are only so many jos - sticks i can burn What to do??? Heat xxx

04 Jun 2003, 01:38	#175
original sin Sinner Join Date: 15.04.2003 Location: cyber space Posts: 2,457	Whoops the advice about the air holes may have been a tad late then Go buy a large lampshade stick in on top and tell hubby is a new modern lamp.........stock up on joss sticks and air freshner........ alternatively you could call a removal company tell them you are moving give a ficticious address and say that it's only the package that needs moving