thus Brian's inflatable sheep, which had shown up just in time for a spectacular catch attempt designed to get him into the english cricket team, was sorely disappointed, and bleated off to find his master....

in the nearby spud patch

which was a shame, as Brian was in a far distant spud patch...meanwhile, back at the beach, Julie...

turned a page on her book

which upset the book no end

still, Julie knew the book would get over it, after all it was only a cheap mills and boon type romance thing.

That Brian had no doubt written in his limited capacity

bath, it was limited capacity because although Brian thought it was a bath, it was really a misplaced bidet that he was sitting in when he wrote that book. He never noticed how cramped it was.

Although he had wondered about the fountain function...

briefly, with a smile on his face.

As Brian clutched the piece of paper in his sticky sweaty palm, he was hit by a sudden inspiration, and decided to travel neither to Moldovia nor Peterborough, but instead to the local Netto to see if he could get some jam remover and tidy up his fate and the meaning of life, which seemed to have morphed into one piece of paper. Unfortunately for Brian, the nearest Netto was

elsewhere

and it was also closed.

Brian carefully considered his options, and decided the safest bet was to try the local Waitrose instead. Unfortunately they had a rather strict dress code, being a bit of a snooty supermarket, and they wouldn't let Brian in, as he was now wearing

his casual pair of thongs

on his feet, as he admired the Aussies somewhat, he was also wearing one in the more English sense of the word, which by rights should have been carefully concealed beneath a very long and thick pair of trousers where it would have been in no danger of being seen.

so that makes three thongs for Brian, all rubber

wear had been banned by the government in 2006 ain a vain attempt to reduce the number of scandals being reported in the tabloid press. Because Brian didn't read such gutter jounralism (or in fact anything else) he was unaware of the fact that he was now illegally dressed.

He reminded himself that next time he should perhaps wear a pair of flip flops to stave off the blank stares of the lesser informed northern hemisphere neighbours.

Nonetheless, the sun was now slowly sinking in the west and he knew he

get to get home before sunset otherwise he'd run the risk of turning into a pumpkin. Eversince watching cinderalla, and not having the brain capacity to differentiate fact from fiction, Brian was always scared to be out after dark incase that actually happened to him...so off he set....

like a mouldy jelly, in the general direction of

the wrong way, directions and map reading weren't Brians strong points either.

whereby he ended up at Mildenhall and an American pilot asked Brian could he give him a life in his Harrier Jump Jet to his destination....

Unfortunately Brian misunderstood the question, and replied 'Don't be silly, I don't have a Harrier Jump Jet!' upon which reply the rather muscly American promptly thumped him on the nose, causing him to bleed profusely all over his

freshly cleaned jet.