black toupee, resulting in...

high winds blowing the top off

Brians or the American pilots Jump Jet, Brian was mightly confused at this point he didn't realise that he actually owned the Jump Jet and the Pilot was his own perosnal chauffeur....

However, to overcome the confusion, he decided to overlook the previous paragraphs and plow on regardless. In this light, he took the American pilot up on his offer of flying him to his destination of

choice, and off they set. It wasn't long however before Brian realised that there wasn't an inflight movie,

so he took it upon himself to create his own entertainment....

and started clicking his fingers to the sound of...

The Birdie Song, which really upset the pilot, in fact it upset him so much that he

started to sob un-controlably

and knocked his head on the overhead controls as he jumped to his feet in a bid to dance the Chicken Dance. One of the controls he knocked

caused the cleverly concealed onboard toilet to flush, dropping a large block of blue ice from the plane where it dropped through the atmosphere to land with a thud on

....Julie's prized flower patch! (Julie being THE Julie that Brian has always been in love with but she keeps spurning his advances). What a mess it made especially as Julie was kneeling over her beloved flower bed at the time it landed....

resulting in a severe case of S.O.L., which caused Julie

to forget where she was and....

hence burn the dinner which was bubbling away on the stove on a low light while she wandered around wondering where she was.

The dinner in question consisted of a thick hearty stew, just perfect for the British summer weather, made from

onions, finest stewing steak, tomato puree, beef stock, mushrooms and half a pint of scruttocks old dirigible ale

Unfortunately, Julie didn't realise one of Brian's old socks had also fallen in the mixture, and that accounted for the cheesy flavour the stew was busily acquiring.

and we all know there's nothing worse than a burnt cheesy flavour don't we children?

yes cried the children!

The children were crying because the big scary writer had suddenly spoken to them. It was a bit like having God suddenly poke His head out of the clouds and address them directly, and quite frankly, they were terrified.

so they run and hid behind an old oak tree!

That one of the other writers quickly wrote into the story, while the afore-accused writer pointed out one of the lesser writers that he is infact not the least bit scary ...

This did not ring true, given the lesser writers had now locked themselves in their wardrobes...

And so another writer got back on track with the story about Julie and her cheesy stew. Becasue she was suffering with amnesia Julie couldn't remember who she had invited around to sample her cooking delights, she was just going to have to wait until they all turned up, the first guest to appear was none other than the local church owned sheep who kept all the grave yard grass in fine splendour.....