and was actually the third cousin twice removed of Brian's rubber inflatable sheep. This lead to no end of confusion and amusement when the second guest arrived ...

in a cloud of dust, amidst a trumpet fanfare, carrying

a large silver sword

with which the second guest was cleaning his nails

which Julie thought was very clever, since he didn't actually have any, being a

flat pack wardrobe purchased from Ikea, with those little Allan Key thingies, for which you lose the key shortly before realising that you need to tighten a wobbly leg.

The flat pack wardrobe (Wardy to his mates) wobbled precariously over the doorstep to make way for

a coffee table, a footstool and the chest of drawers which had all also been invited.

Unbeknownst to Julie, there was a crack team of Psychiatrists hiding in the bushes underneath the kitchen window, as it had long been suspected that she had lost her marbles, and the spectacle of a suite of bedroom furniture crossing the doorstep was now causing them immense problems - perhaps she was potty, because, let's face it, only nutters would invite furniture for dinner. On the other hand, the furniture had accepted the invitation, and actually shown up... What to do...

It was at the point where the squirrels started washing up and the tortoise and baby deer began to prepare the main course (which the carrots weren't too happy about as they featured in it) that Julie decided that there was nothing for it but to accept her Disney-esque fate,

and break into a quick rendition of

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, sadly Julie couldn't hold a tune in a bucket, which was lucky really, since the bucket was busy peeling protesting carrots at that moment in time.

Not to mention dealing with Dear Liza and trying to calm her down a bit, because....

there was a ...

large spider crawling along the handle of the bucket, and unfortunately, Liza had lost the phone number of her friendly local Hypnotherapist who specialised in all sorts of things, not just relieving spider phobias.

but also fixing large

stamps to even larger letters, which were usually addressed to

Brian, Brian loved collecting letters and stamps so much so that instead of having wallpaper on the walls of his home, he had all the letters and stamps plastered from wall to ceiling and thus Brian was the final guest to arrive for the evening. Because he felt guiltly for dropping the toilet block onto Julie earlier in the day, Brian came round carrying....

a huge urinal painted pink, the urinal looked heavy and brian looked as though he was struggling. sticking out of his pocket brian had...

his fate, which he'd rescued earlier before he left the pub, this had led to him attending the dinner party as originally he hadn't intended on going, but it transpired that the invite was written on the back of it, so he'd let fate intervene this time.

Alas, he was no longer hungry, as he had eaten the donut he found and, let's face it, rocking up to a dinner party at the extraordinarily incompetent Julies house while not hungy is a really

good method of self-preservation, as it ensured not having to eat any of Julie's cooking...

which is almost as bad as

eating mouse-traps with

mice in them.