AND...apparently also neutered...

While all this was going on, Gaz,

who by now was starting to get annoyed that no-one had noticed his predicament and come to offer him medical assistance,

decided to take matters into his own hands, administering the kiss of life to himself

At which point he remembered that he was sick and hadn't had a chance to brush his teeth...as the memory flashed in his mind...he fainted dead away yet again...

seeing the plot alter so quickly

had come as no surprise to him, or the birds which were still twittering the gently swaying trees outside.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, there came a loud buzzing noise, and Gaz managed to come out of his stupor long enough to notive the workmen in fashionable yellow hardhats and flourescent vests cutting down the trees outside, due to large numbers of complaints about poo on cars, caused by the trees' twittering occupants.

The Trees swayed gently in the breeze one more time, before toppling to the ground with an almighty crash. The brids twittered and fright, and then twittered in flight as they moved in the general direction of away from the toppling trees to their second nests located in the old barn.

Unbeknown to the twittering birds, inside the barn there was

simply a cat...BUT...it was not a simple cat at all...it was a Cheshire cat...

Cat smiled at the birds and...

with one enormous chomp of it's extremely large, extremely sharp teeth,

licked it's lips as it prepared to pounce. However, at that moment a creature from a higher evolutionary plane bounded into the barn, ran round in circles wagging it's tail, which it then proceeded to chase, before settling down to stare playfully at the cat. Cat decided that perhaps there would be richer pickings meal-wise in a place that didn't potentially have cat on the menu for dog.

Having successfully chased off the cat, the dog thus made the barn safe once more for the twittering birds that had fluttered in there to take shelter.

peace and harmony once again descended on the storyline ... but for how long?

Until the dog managed to sneak off a foul

for which he was awarded a yellow card, and since this was his second of the tournament, he also received an automatic one match ban for the next game.

:oops: So he slunk off into his kennel downunder and stayed there for a day or two.:oops:

Luckily Ronaldo had got lost on the way home from the match on Saturday, and was snoozing in the dog's kennel, so he had a good munch on his leg to make up for things.

However the dog was still hungry due to ronaldo's leg being skimpy with not much meat on the bone, he soon turned his attention to Gaz who by now was....

drunk and

singing "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" on top of his lungs.

Which was quite surprising for his lungs, as last time they had checked they were internal and functioning normally. Fortunately the incident that had removed them was rather blurred. All they knew was that the removal involved

a frying pan, a blunt removing a stone from a horses hoof attachment of a swiss army knife and a couple of lemon soaked paper napkins.

This occurence completely removed from our reader's mind incident involving chandellier, monkey wrench and an inflatable dolphin.