Still, the lunacy always liked going on the bus, so Brian

pulled himself together, (it was an impressive feat to watch) and bought him a ticket.

to watch the final of

custard poker.

The rules to custard poker were quite simple, all you had to do was

play poker with custard

(Brian had to confess that he was a little confused as to how the custard came into it, were you supposed to bet with it instead of chips? Did you see one bowl, raise a packet? He hoped some kind writer would explain it all to him...)

Is that the same as raisin the packet?

Of course Brian had been fully expecting that bad pun ...

...and being Brian, thought it was the absolute pinnacle of humour.

meanwhile, back at the ranch

there was something really strange happening with the family dog

rover kept singing out of tune which was unusual

seeing how as his particular breed wasn't noted for singing at all.

Over in the barn as the wind flicked up dust clouds at the entrance the birds twittered,

until a volley of gunshots rang out, and all that was left of the twittering birds was a mass of feathers flying in the breeze.

The wind continued to flick up little dust clouds as the feathers floated around, in the distance more birds could be heard to be twittering.

More volleys of gunshots could be heard, hundreds upon hundreds of them, followed by the sound of someone with very heavy hobnailed boots stamping on every bird egg in the world with a large splattering noise, until finally, there was ABSOLUTELY NO CHANCE of any birds doing any twittering at any point in the future.

At which point, the cicadas began to chirp....

In the distance a loan surviving bird twittered, as it very quickly evolved into an animal that could self replicate, in seconds there were four twittering birds, then 8, 16, 32 64, 128, 256 512, 1024, 2048 ...

*mutter mutter grumble moan*

Chirp

Brian, meanwhile, was patiently waiting for the bus to move off, as the final of custard poker was creeping closer and closer, and he was really looking forward to finding out once and for all what the heck it was all about.

"I wonder whether I'm destined to be a major figure in this story, or if I'm one of those people they introduce just so they can be the first victim of the grisly serial killer?!"

Said a passing old lady.