was outside twittering with the birds and rustling with the wind.

The rustling he was doing was the kind involving stealing lots of cows and selling them for a profit. Unfortunately, the only cows in the vicinity were stuffed toy ones in the window of the local department store, or some on the cardboard packaging of his favourite lunchtime snack, Dairylea Dunkers.

Which he used to eat with the added gastronomic attraction of Marmite, spread thinly over the dunker before it was dunked into the dunkee dairylea.

Suddenly, a deep voice announced "'Ello 'ello 'ello, what's going on 'ere then?" and Brian's only option was

to grow a third hand, and?

try to distract the policeman so he wouldn't see that

he was eating Dairylea Dunkers and Marmie in a built up area.

However the police man had already spotted Brian eating his marmite and dairylee dunkers, brian should have known better knowing that there was a ban on eating this combination from 7am-11pm (It would often have a nasty effect on the locals hence the knocking out of an entire country) BUT the police man couldn't resist the sight and smell and bargained with Brian for his marmite and Dairylee dunkers...The bargain was...

that if he handed them over immediately and promised not to ask any awkward questions, the copper would refrain from arresting him and also give him a free

dip in his dunker :yikes: Brian took this completely the wrong way and bolted for the nearest bus stop...

which was only 50 yards away with a bus waiting to go to the next city

The marmite-y smell had lingered on Brian's clothes, however, and as the bus-driver was one of those people who hate Marmite, he refused to let Brian board the bus until he'd

Gotten naked and rubbed a jar of tomato sause on himself...(ive gone mad)

Unfortunately for Brian, the copper was still standing watching him, and as soon as the first item of clothing came off, Brian was arrested for all sorts of crimes, including but not limited to

disrobing to reveal Bob The Builder boxer shorts in a built up area.

This charge carried a minimum sentance of

fourteen years basic spelling tests.

10 years for indecent exposure, and he didnt have a building permit so that added to

the list of charges. The list was now so long that the copper wasn't able to fit it all in his pocket, and instead

he rolled the list up and placed it inside his helmet.

Where it was met with a scalp full of dandrulff

as the copper in question had very poor standards of personal hygiene.

Alas at the last minute

the combination of dandruff and sweat from the copper's sweaty head caused the charge sheet to disintegrate, which made the copper extremely angry, and he started to shout

Abuse at the elderly lady passing by, then suddenly she turned to the copper and pulled out her...