cardigans.

This angered the sweet little old lady who then took out her gun from her purse just as Brian was stepping onto the bus...

she shot the copy of peoples friend to pieces. What are peoples friends doing wearing cardigans (she thought to herself in Italian), why aren't they wearing a nice sweater like normal people do?

"Mad English people" she thought to herself (in italian) however Brian caught her eye especially as he was wearing a brand new "I love horses" jumper that Julie had knitted him in thanks of him buying her (or capturing!) a rare bat....

and as Julie had been taking a new Linguaphone (or other well-known audio language course) Italian course, she'd knitted I love horses in Italian.

Which was very bizarre, as the majority of people knitted in wool, and also Linguaphone didn;t do courses on knitting in their audio range.

Ahhh the sweet little old lady thought as she saw Brians sweater, she tucked her gun back down into her bloomers, and she patted the seat for Brian to sit down next to her....

Just before Brian sat down the old lady placed a pin on Brians seat

and the credit card next to it

So that Brian may get into the old ladys

good books

which were all written by Dan Brown, rather than by a collective.

They included all his famous titles, such as The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, as well as some of his lesser known works - The Van Gogh Jigsaw and Goodies and Baddies.

Which all had the secret code to

something secret hidden secretly inside them, in code.

and the Pin the old lady had left on the seat of the bus was the code to decode the secret code the books had been encoded with.

But the code that the old lady left turned out to be wrong as one of the digits of the code was not coded peoperly to fit in with the rest of the code

(I think this is enough for the word code)

Once mis-unencrypted, the secret revealed

The the old lady was in fact

Not so old...and not a lady at all...BUT...

A witch!

So He cast a spell on Brian which turned him into

a blithering idiot, although frankly it was difficult to see any difference.

since Brian was missing a few screws in his head to start with.

Though as Brian was so slow now the old lady felt slightly sorry for him so decided