In the meantime, Brian

Lost the plot and

dived into the clear blue ocean to look for it

where unfortunately, he met a

siren, which he was drawn to like a moth to a flame. He knew her love would be the death of him, but he swam to her just the same.

It took ages though, because Brian couldn't swim very well at all. About the best he could manage was a bit of a doggy paddle, and only then if he had his armbands and rubber ring to keep him afloat.

Sadly, he had neither with him.

As the thrashing about in the water and choking noises were testament to.

all humankind stupidity and

the way to go on our way to

nowhere fast

because he was blind as a bat

and as we all know...bats are

flying mammals who like to fly in

the heat of the night

& around the belfry for a quick

pint or two

or three...

and a packet of

scampi fries

nuts

which was a bizarre mix that had recently been marketed by KP with a TV advertising campaing featuring

an almost unknown Z-list celebrity, dressed up as a giant scampi, singing a song about nuts.

while dressed as a Transvestite

and looking suspiciously enough just like...