carefully applied to

the nose in question. At this point, a strange calm decended on

Yorkshire

which was nothing compared to the strange camel which decended on Berkshire.

The camel, whose name was Humphrey, unsurprisingly, was covered in

strawberry jam,

which made him a bit of a wasp magnet. Poor Humphrey didn't like wasps, which was the reason for his visit to Berkshire, as he'd heard

that Reading was a place that didn't have any wasps. Sadly,

he was mistaken a giant wasp turned up in a 4 x 4 with bat out of hell blasting out of his stereo

and asked for directions to Michelle's place, in order to

get some lunch and use the toilet as it had been a long journey

made even longer by the diversion from Berkshire to cleckhuddersfax for a loo break. Meanwhile Brian was

dancing around the cherry tree at the side of the road like a man possesed

of limited intelligence - all in all, Brian was fairly normal... Upon spotting Humphrey the camel talking to the giant wasp, Brian

considered his options

and concluded that the safest course of action was

to strip down to his bra and knickers and climb up the cherry tree

He realised that he wasn't wearing any underwear, unfortunately by this time he was halfway up the tree and the camel had eaten his clothes.

he begun to sweat and worry about what e was going to do,

and the sweat made the cherry tree extremely slippery, and poor Brian fell out, straight into

last Tuesday, which confused his milkman no end,

as Brian had told her he was going away for the week, and wouldn't be available for any nookie. The milkman (who was trying to think up a new job title, and the best she had come up with so far was bovine dairy delivery operative) had been even more confused by this as Brian was so extremely ugly that the mere thought of nookie with him was enough to make anyone vomit, and so she had responded by

by saying not tonight Josephine

pretending to be a dog sniffing the milk bottles on the doorstep and then bolted after a neighbours cat. It worked and Brian felt,

miffed to say the least