Brian's fried balls smothered in

a damp copy of the Financial Times.

Brian was not at all pleased with this plot development, as it came to him as a surprise that his balls were now

bearing the imprint of an article about the bolivian coffee bean market and it's impact on the worlds economy.

plus tomorrows weather wich didn't bode well, considering he was hoping to do a spot of sun bathing

howvere the threat of wind, rain, sleet snow and jam, really didn't look good for his plans.

Undaunted, Brian decided to check out the latest fashions to ensure he was suitably dressed for his sunbathing the next day. Upon connecting to the internet, using the latest WiFi technology, Brian stumbled across a website which he thought would show him exactly what he was looking for, as it was called

http://www.zodee.com.au/Womens/Swimwear/
which of course was right up his alley. He surfed the site extensively until

his mother caught him and decided it for totally innaproprate because

she had previously banned him surfing following the incident with the sharks. Brian's mother was awfully funny like that. He often pleaded and begged her to

undo the handcuffs and allow him to live his own life, but she insisted on following him around every day, frightening the women of Brian's home town, because if you thought Brian was ugly, Boy! He was nothing compared to his mother! On his brief foray into the website, Brian had seen an item of swimwear that he thought might be suitable, it was a

rubber inflatable

sheep. Brian's Mother had once been attacked by a sheep, leaving her with a life long fear of them. However Brian

proceeded to order one. He pulled out his Visa card from his rather tatty wallet and typed in the numbers. He hit the submit button and watched in awe as the receipt was

printed on the back of an Aardvark.

This aardvark just happened to have got himself caught in Brian's rather ancient printer by the

skin of his

sausages, which he'd saved for lunch

and was now chewing very enthusiastically. Unfortunately, the aardvark had dentures which were not fixed very securely in his mouth, and with the energetic chewing, they flew out and across to Brian, striking him soundly on the

back of the knee, knocking his toupee into

a large squishy bowl of

tadpoles, which swam round and round the hairy thing that had landed int he middle of them. Brian turned, disparingly

to

see the aardvark disappearing in the general direction of away, this came as no surprise to Brian, because

his luck was pants. Unfortunately, as the receipt for the swimwear was printed on the aardvark's back, he had to sprint after it, and Brian in flight rather resembled a