call off the hounds for another day

and instead

she ran amok on a forum and posted illegibly until

no one could take anymore. The forum users called on Brian to sort out the problem once and for all by

waving his magic cauliflower

which of course no one had any idea that he had

because it was hidden in the same pocket that he had filled with his rubber sheep.

Unfortunately, the magic cauliflower had caused the rubber sheep to come to life, and it had promptly eaten the cauliflower, so Brian had to wait for nature to take it's course to see if the cauliflower's magic properties had survived the mystery of the sheep's internal digestive system. They hadn't. Brian

was gutted ... and when he tried to exact his revenge on the sheep by submitting it to the same fate (ie ensuring that it was gutted) the sheep uttered it's first, and last, sound "Pffttttttttttttttppppppppppppp" and disappeared over the horizon. Non one had warned Brian about the consequences of his actions involving inflatable sheep which had come to life, but were intrinsically still full of air, and sharp knives. Brian

turned to see a

yellow

looking female, who appeared to be Julie searching for her duvet cover. She had no idea that

it was now a world famous jam covered relic, worshipped by hordes of

wasps, everywhere except Berkshire.

They were a fussy lot in that town.

"Hello Brian," said Julie, smiling forlornly. "Have you seen my duvet cover?" Brian replied

"Yes", she said sternly. "Someone had put it in the dishwasher and it was all covered in jam". It was clear that Julie was well and truly

fed up with washing other people's ancient relics, and she wasn't taking any more of it. She had initiated a covert action to ensure that the situation didn't happen again, and it involved

stapling

a large notice to the door of the dishwasher, saying

She hoped it would work ... but secretly, deep inside her heart she knew that

Brian couldn't actually read, so it didn't matter what she wrote, or how big she wrote it, he just wouldn't stop, until she felt so overwhelmed that the only answer was to

staple his

fingers to his

table just like Rik Mayall in Bottom:lol: then eddie tried to free him by..