Alternative story thread...
 

Okay... here's another idea...

Rather than use lyrics or song titles or anything else, how about we just write a story? Follow on from where the person before you left off, write a whole sentance, or just a bit of one and stop where you like... and let's see what happens...

Once upon a time, there was a little

brown poo, swimming around

happily minding it's own business, when along came a

dwarf, and upon noticing the poo

.... decided to reach

for his chainsaw, because one too many people had....

ticked him off this week

And he decided that revenge was the name of the game. First on his hit list was....

an extremely ugly bloke called ...

Brian, who had...

large ears with hair coming out of them

and a glass eye. The dwarf was upset with Brian because...

he'd stolen the box that held the dwarf's collection of bar codes

carefully removed from

A place with no sunshine

... and even less

brain cells

But then you would expect that from

Brian. Next on the hit list was...

a half-witted twerp by the name of

Barry, Whose stupidity was so extreme that

a frontal lobotomy was his only

claim to fame, but to be honest he'd have rather had a bottle in front of him.

Barry realised his only form of defence against the dwarf was

to call in the services of Shane Warne to

bowl some barcode covered cricket balls underarm towards the dwarf.

Thus he would

be distracted, enabling a quick escape. However, the plan came unstuck when

he tripprd over on an unwanted bananaskin on the floor

and fell awkwardly, twisting his

little finger all the way round

an inconveniently placed lamp post. The banana skin flew up into the air, landing on

the head of an important male who looked like

he could use a

Slap In The Face

and a passing

witch on a broomstick

did just that, all be it using a magic spell. The witch was actually

Margaret Thatcher's ...

cleaner

her name was

Zelda Marcos, and she had lost her red shoes, and couldn't get home.

Her solution to that was to...

employ someone to

Move her home and her shoe collection to her current location, thereby negating the problem she had encountered when she lost her red shoes.

Things were going very well, the vans were all loaded, the shoes neatly boxed and labelled, when suddenly,

from out of nowhere, as if by magic

Brian appeared.

singing "Always look on the bright side of life!" Zelda was

astounded at the sight of Brian, dressed as he was in ...

fuschia pink fluffy

and holding in his hand, the neglected poo. Which was very

disconcerting as it was wrapped

in extremely prickly

tissue paper, which had been purchased from

a leading Yorkshire newsagent, who goes by the unlikely name of

Michelle,

whose hobbies included

frequenting the local

and worrying small fluffy

slippers by

hiding them inside rolled up copies of The Beano

On a certain weblog, Michelle describes herself as

gorgeous in black fish nets

and as having a wicked sense of

smell, which would have helped her to locate the tissue paper wrapped parcel. However,

on the day in question, Michelle had developed a rather nasty cold, resulting in copious amounts of green gunge dripping from her nose, and staining her

upper lip, which she hadn't waxed in about 4 weeks.

Her now green moustache was a perfect match with her eyes.

Which she kept stored in a jam jar on a shelf next to her colections of

toenail clippings, which numbered into the hundreds, as she'd kept every clipping since the age of twelve. Some people thought Michelle was a bit weird, whilst others

were just plain scared of her. A common belief was that Michelle would

spontaneously combust at the slightest provocation, resulting in devastating

noises and the non-delivery of newspapers all over the Cleckhuddersfax region of Yorkshire

There was only one known method of preventing this, and it involved

three packets of smarties a small spanner and some duck tape

carefully applied to

the nose in question. At this point, a strange calm decended on

Yorkshire

which was nothing compared to the strange camel which decended on Berkshire.

The camel, whose name was Humphrey, unsurprisingly, was covered in

strawberry jam,

which made him a bit of a wasp magnet. Poor Humphrey didn't like wasps, which was the reason for his visit to Berkshire, as he'd heard

that Reading was a place that didn't have any wasps. Sadly,

he was mistaken a giant wasp turned up in a 4 x 4 with bat out of hell blasting out of his stereo

and asked for directions to Michelle's place, in order to

get some lunch and use the toilet as it had been a long journey

made even longer by the diversion from Berkshire to cleckhuddersfax for a loo break. Meanwhile Brian was

dancing around the cherry tree at the side of the road like a man possesed

of limited intelligence - all in all, Brian was fairly normal... Upon spotting Humphrey the camel talking to the giant wasp, Brian

considered his options

and concluded that the safest course of action was

to strip down to his bra and knickers and climb up the cherry tree

He realised that he wasn't wearing any underwear, unfortunately by this time he was halfway up the tree and the camel had eaten his clothes.

he begun to sweat and worry about what e was going to do,

and the sweat made the cherry tree extremely slippery, and poor Brian fell out, straight into

last Tuesday, which confused his milkman no end,

as Brian had told her he was going away for the week, and wouldn't be available for any nookie. The milkman (who was trying to think up a new job title, and the best she had come up with so far was bovine dairy delivery operative) had been even more confused by this as Brian was so extremely ugly that the mere thought of nookie with him was enough to make anyone vomit, and so she had responded by

by saying not tonight Josephine

pretending to be a dog sniffing the milk bottles on the doorstep and then bolted after a neighbours cat. It worked and Brian felt,

miffed to say the least