Universally (un)acknowledged truths...

Hypnobabe · 21 Aug 2007, 17:16

Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch and/or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop
Any tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to the least accessible corner.

Law of probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Alibi
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.

Law of Variation
If you change traffic lanes or queu at the store, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Lockers
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Wilson's Law
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

Law of the Telephone
When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of Hot Coffee
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you will be inspired (by youself or, more likely, your boss) to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Window Cleaning
The dirty mark is always on the other side.

Law of Fixing or Replacement
If it jams...force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Theorem of Making Things Fit
If it doesn't fit, use a hammer.
If it still doesn't fit, use a sledge hammer.

The Dimensions Dilemna
If you have measured it in imperial you will find that its made in metric and vica versa.

Law of Universal Fit
Interchangeable parts won't (or don't?).

Law of Anxious Unpacking
The assembly and operation manual will be discarded with the packing material. The garbage truck will have it picked up five minutes before the mad dash to the rubbish can.

Axiom: The Carpenter's Rule "Measure Twice, Cut Once" Doesn't Apply to Electricians
Any wire cut to the exact measured length will be too short.

God in action.
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.

The Axiom of Near vs Far
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

Cpl Mickey · 21 Aug 2007, 17:58

ROFL

Betty · 22 Aug 2007, 19:56

Great loooool
And so true!!!!

mszee · 22 Aug 2007, 20:15

How true...funny but true!

duke knooby · 23 Aug 2007, 00:26

yeah, those are good... liked them

MeatGrl1 · 23 Aug 2007, 02:02

!!

Thanks those ring true !!

21 Aug 2007, 17:16	#1
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Universally (un)acknowledged truths... Law of Mechanical Repair After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch and/or you'll have to pee. Law of the Workshop Any tool, when dropped, will roll or slide to the least accessible corner. Law of probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. Law of the Alibi If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre. Law of Variation If you change traffic lanes or queu at the store, the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Law of Lockers If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. Law of Logical Argument Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. Wilson's Law As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. Law of the Telephone When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal. Law of Hot Coffee As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, you will be inspired (by youself or, more likely, your boss) to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. Law of Window Cleaning The dirty mark is always on the other side. Law of Fixing or Replacement If it jams...force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. Theorem of Making Things Fit If it doesn't fit, use a hammer. If it still doesn't fit, use a sledge hammer. The Dimensions Dilemna If you have measured it in imperial you will find that its made in metric and vica versa. Law of Universal Fit Interchangeable parts won't (or don't?). Law of Anxious Unpacking The assembly and operation manual will be discarded with the packing material. The garbage truck will have it picked up five minutes before the mad dash to the rubbish can. Axiom: The Carpenter's Rule "Measure Twice, Cut Once" Doesn't Apply to Electricians Any wire cut to the exact measured length will be too short. God in action. Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them. The Axiom of Near vs Far Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.

21 Aug 2007, 17:58	#2
Cpl Mickey Mega Loafer Join Date: 15.09.2003 Location: Maidstone. England Posts: 1,378	ROFL

22 Aug 2007, 19:56	#3
Betty ˙·٠•● ♫ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ♪ ●•٠·˙ Join Date: 12.11.2006 Location: Niedersachsen Posts: 6,387	Great loooool And so true!!!!

22 Aug 2007, 20:15	#4
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 29.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	How true...funny but true!

23 Aug 2007, 00:26	#5
duke knooby Mega Loafer Join Date: 24.06.2005 Location: belfast Posts: 17,882	yeah, those are good... liked them

23 Aug 2007, 02:02	#6
MeatGrl1 No Day But Today Join Date: 29.05.2006 Location: Sitting on the steps outside looking so restless and reckless and lost! Posts: 9,089	!! Thanks those ring true !!