Dear Diary (from a BMW driver)

daveake · 11 Feb 2009, 18:11

A day from the diary of a BMW driver...

"The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.

First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway!

The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn.

Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane.

Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!

Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way.

Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me!

He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car.

Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast!

Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me!

See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!"

mszee · 11 Feb 2009, 18:41

I gather that drivers of expensive cars are the same all over the world...

*AndyK* · 12 Feb 2009, 00:17

Excellent!

Although just as applicable to Audi drivers these days.

daveake · 12 Feb 2009, 00:31

Very true. A big change from the days when Audi ran that anti-BMW-driver advert.

Dave

**Monstro** · 12 Feb 2009, 00:38

Does that mean the nearside lane is for Honda's?

~Helen~ · 12 Feb 2009, 00:47

I also think BMW can be interchanged for most 4 wheel drive vehicles!

*AndyK* · 12 Feb 2009, 11:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Monstro

Does that mean the nearside lane is for Honda's?

Nah ... it's for bikes ... so they can coast onto the hard shoulder when they get a puncture.

11 Feb 2009, 18:11	#1
daveake 200% is the new 110% Join Date: 13.03.2005 Location: Newbury Posts: 2,983	Dear Diary (from a BMW driver) A day from the diary of a BMW driver... "The other day I was cruising along as usual coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars. First off, I couldn't believe that the volume of traffic DIDN'T slow down for me AT ALL as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane and posing along at 110 mph enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally, I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the BMW lane of my motorway and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I had to take my drivers licence to a police station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either - they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3.) But the man at the police station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT'S the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!"

11 Feb 2009, 18:41	#2
mszee Mega Loafer Join Date: 28.03.2006 Location: And you think you're down under??? Posts: 26,252	I gather that drivers of expensive cars are the same all over the world...

12 Feb 2009, 00:17	#3
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	Excellent! Although just as applicable to Audi drivers these days.

12 Feb 2009, 00:31	#4
daveake 200% is the new 110% Join Date: 13.03.2005 Location: Newbury Posts: 2,983	Very true. A big change from the days when Audi ran that anti-BMW-driver advert. Dave

12 Feb 2009, 00:38	#5
Monstro Promoted to Wario's spellchecker Join Date: 17.09.2005 Location: London Posts: 12,947	Does that mean the nearside lane is for Honda's?

12 Feb 2009, 00:47	#6
~Helen~ Mega Loafer Join Date: 01.11.2007 Location: Manchester Posts: 1,958	I also think BMW can be interchanged for most 4 wheel drive vehicles!