How do u ask a guy out?? HELP!!!!

Fallen Angel · 19 Dec 2003, 21:45

hey folks,
Im wondering if u can help me out here

I few months back Kirsty asked a guy who i was to nervous to see if he would go out with me. Unforunatley his answer hit me hard and didnt settle because of his reason for saying no. After a few months i realised that maybe i should give it a shot as hes now single once again. How do I ask him???
hugs,
F.A

A Slice Of English · 19 Dec 2003, 22:26

If a girl has to ask a guy, that's usually a bad start straight off.

Generally, you don't "SAY" anything, you happen to bump into him at a club or a bar and you get talking. Don't proposition him as gys don't like to be tied down straight away.

Gently flow into it. Use evocative body language to let him know you're interested. If he doesn't respond then he's not interested or he's stupid. One or the other!

black dog · 19 Dec 2003, 22:51

I don't think I'd have the courage to ask a guy out so I think a Slice of Good English's advice is quite good.

There's a few Chat Up Lines on Off Topic but most of them seem a bit dodgy but who am I to say. I'd just say nothing at all so wouldn't get anywhere.

Good Luck Fallen Angel

Shells

Bigmomma · 20 Dec 2003, 03:31

get to be friends with him first, and if you still like his personality
when your friends then that would give you a good idea as to wether
it is worth being boyfriend/girlfriend or not after all what may seem a
good idea isnt allways so....hope this helps, it worked with me and
my husband, he is also my best friend, and the best hubby a girl could have

good luck. :P

shadow1000001 · 20 Dec 2003, 05:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bigmomma

get to be friends with him first, and if you still like his personality
when your friends then that would give you a good idea as to wether
it is worth being boyfriend/girlfriend or not after all what may seem a
good idea isnt allways so....hope this helps, it worked with me and
my husband, he is also my best friend, and the best hubby a girl could have

good luck. :P

That is excellent advice

Fallen Angel · 20 Dec 2003, 17:48

Thanks guys. Big momma we've been friends for approx. a year and a half.
Txt him last night and he sent me this poem:
Mountains may vanish. Rivers may dry.
U may 4get me but never shall i, so when ur lonley unsure wot 2 do remember im always here 4 u.x

After a birthday greeting from me to chris i also got this b4 i said night.
Am here 4 u allways. Just shout and I'll cum runnin.

At the end of the messages l8r on in the nite he started typing these 3 words that a girl wants to here. :)
Should i just let them pass over or think about it??

hugs
Leeann
P.S Anyone understand that poem?

Fallen Angel · 20 Dec 2003, 18:29

Thanks to Big Momma :P and of coure every one else I have built up the courage to ask him.
Tell U what he says!!
Hugs
Leeann

Fallen Angel · 20 Dec 2003, 19:47

OH NO!!!
Got 2 nervous, now he doesnt understand the message.
HELP!!!!!!

Tim · 20 Dec 2003, 19:58

No problemo.... I'm a guy... i was shy until i started with my school and became a teacher. Some tips:

- just be yourself (yeah, easy, but still, it is a trick)
- don't think you do things wrong, you do the things your way
(and, if there is something going wrong totally, like falling in mud orso.... just say you had prepared that and that is a part of your act

)
- be interested in a honest way
- don't be cruel

- say good and nice things
(wow, i like your piercing or.... i like your coat very much, where did you buy it?)

Oh crap.... this more for a first date.... excuse me... okay:
- walk towards the person, start a talk
- ask the person if he (she) has a plan for...... (.... call a date)
- say that you want to do something fun and ask him/her if he/she wants to join you with that
(if he/she says no.... don't bother, lots of other people, see it as a victory that helpes you for the future)
- if he/she wants to join you, don't over react.

Well, hopefully this helps a bit

The Butcher.

Fallen Angel · 20 Dec 2003, 20:01

I'll try.

Fallen Angel · 20 Dec 2003, 20:05

He said he'll fone when he gets home.
How do i explain to him over the fone??

Tim · 20 Dec 2003, 20:10

simple.... try it first into the mirror, sounds stupid, has helped me a couple of times.

Call him up, or if he calls you, just pick up the phone. Don't be nervous. He calles or you will call him so.... nothing to worry about.
Start a talk... like you are talking to girlfriends.

A conversation will start.

Well, now the door is open. Just ask him if he wants to do something with you, or that he would like to go out with you (to a bar, movie, etc).
If he says he don't know yet... no problem... try later again in the conversation.
If he says no.... don't be bothered or react shocked... just talk further and go on. If you close the call... then there is time for a breakdown.

If he says yes......... YOU ARE IN!!!!

Wish you all the luck!!! I will be thinking of you, please let us know how things worked out.

The Butcher.

Fallen Angel · 20 Dec 2003, 20:28

O.k folks.
Story sofar...
Got in touch with him using txt.
asked: If i ever asked would u go out with me?
Reply: Yeah babes, I would. Why?

Asked: would u plz?
Reply: Give me time 2 think.

So looks like the nerves are gonna have to stay put for now.
I'll just have to wait.
Should i??
hugs
leeann

Tim · 20 Dec 2003, 22:05

Thanks for the update!!! Very cool that you did it!!
Now you can only wait.

Fallen Angel · 26 Dec 2003, 17:46

UPDATE!!!

Looks like I waited too long.. he asked for time to think and so i gave him some time but he got back with his ex. who stays 20miles away on monday as i found out today.
Never mind.. he had a similar incident when he asked me to go on a night out but i couldnt go.
Turns out he was still with the girl when he asked but would have halted it if i had gone

Plenty more out there I hope!!!
Karin is angry at him though. his loss not mine.
Did u all have a nice christmas??
hugs
leeann

CarolM · 26 Dec 2003, 18:05

Personally i wouldnt do all the running Leeann,

but now he knows ,

maybe when or if they split up,

he knows now so let him do the running next time hun.

Hope this helps.

as you say plenty more fish in the sea definatley his loss

.Now its your turn Leeann treat them mean keep them keen.

After all he was mean to you.

Bigmomma · 26 Dec 2003, 18:13

if he is making a habit out of it maybe try and find someone who is more reliable and who doesn't go straight back to an ex?
i would feel sorry for his girlfriend as he sounds a bit like a player....
kezzina
just been informed by my daughter the correct term is twotimer/user...

**The Flying Mouse** · 26 Dec 2003, 18:23

Don't worry about him Leeann.
He might be a nice guy, but it sounds like he changes his mind more often than his underwear.
Which means he's either very fickle, or has very dodgy personal hygene

Just give it time and you'll find the right person.Usually when your least expecting it.

You'll also notice that you spend ages single, then when you finally do meet someone you get offers left right and centre

Fallen Angel · 26 Dec 2003, 22:17

Thanks guys!!!!

CarolM · 27 Dec 2003, 03:43

Your welcome hun.

Fallen Angel · 09 Jan 2004, 22:10

OH NO!!!
Says hes split up with ex and wants out wif me what do i do??

shadow1000001 · 10 Jan 2004, 00:00

Just remember, He's obviously an ex for a reason and keep remembering that reason

scotty · 10 Jan 2004, 01:47

Get him drunk and take full advantage of the situation!!

He might be a complete muppet when you finally get him one on one.

Have fun finding out anyway
xx

sherrie87 · 11 Jan 2004, 06:42

Fallen Angel says:

Quote:

Says hes split up with ex and wants out wif me what do i do??

My first instinct is to absolutely not go out with him- if he wasn't so nice to you before he's probably just killing time now. You don't want to be his "filler" girlfriend while he looks for the next one. I hope that I am wrong in my assessment of his motives, but thats the impression that I get from your earlier messages. Somewhere, there are decent guys around- you just have to find them! It could happen any time- when I was painfully single I always remembered the Stones line from "Gimme Shelter" : "Love/it's just a kiss away"- it's true: you could meet someone at the grocery store, or the post office, (in my case, at church) and BOOM- your whole life can change. But I do remember that it's no fun sorting though the rotten guys to find the gems!

Sherrie

Lady B · 11 Jan 2004, 06:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by scotty

Get him drunk and take full advantage of the situation!!

He might be a complete muppet when you finally get him one on one.

Have fun finding out anyway
xx

I'm sorry. I couldn't help but laugh at that one. Not that it's bad. It just tickled my funny bone. By my definition of "Going out" you're only going to date him not marry him. (Mydaughter's definition of "Going out" would be different.) Check him out but be wary. Don't get too involved yet and keep your head on straight. Like someone said earlier, he must be an ex for a reason. Keep it as friends for a while so you can acess whether you want it to go any farther. And don't forget . . .

WE'LL WANT DETAILS!!!

Lady b

19 Dec 2003, 21:45	#1
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	How do u ask a guy out?? HELP!!!! hey folks, Im wondering if u can help me out here I few months back Kirsty asked a guy who i was to nervous to see if he would go out with me. Unforunatley his answer hit me hard and didnt settle because of his reason for saying no. After a few months i realised that maybe i should give it a shot as hes now single once again. How do I ask him??? hugs, F.A

19 Dec 2003, 22:26	#2
A Slice Of English Guest Join Date: 10.11.2003 Posts: 1,258	If a girl has to ask a guy, that's usually a bad start straight off. Generally, you don't "SAY" anything, you happen to bump into him at a club or a bar and you get talking. Don't proposition him as gys don't like to be tied down straight away. Gently flow into it. Use evocative body language to let him know you're interested. If he doesn't respond then he's not interested or he's stupid. One or the other!

19 Dec 2003, 22:51	#3
black dog Mega Loafer Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Cornwall Posts: 1,667	I don't think I'd have the courage to ask a guy out so I think a Slice of Good English's advice is quite good. There's a few Chat Up Lines on Off Topic but most of them seem a bit dodgy but who am I to say. I'd just say nothing at all so wouldn't get anywhere. Good Luck Fallen Angel Shells

20 Dec 2003, 03:31	#4
Bigmomma Super Loafer Join Date: 07.07.2003 Location: Somewhere in time in my mind......... Posts: 655	get to be friends with him first, and if you still like his personality when your friends then that would give you a good idea as to wether it is worth being boyfriend/girlfriend or not after all what may seem a good idea isnt allways so....hope this helps, it worked with me and my husband, he is also my best friend, and the best hubby a girl could have good luck. :P

20 Dec 2003, 17:48	#6
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	Thanks guys. Big momma we've been friends for approx. a year and a half. Txt him last night and he sent me this poem: Mountains may vanish. Rivers may dry. U may 4get me but never shall i, so when ur lonley unsure wot 2 do remember im always here 4 u.x After a birthday greeting from me to chris i also got this b4 i said night. Am here 4 u allways. Just shout and I'll cum runnin. At the end of the messages l8r on in the nite he started typing these 3 words that a girl wants to here. :) Should i just let them pass over or think about it?? hugs Leeann P.S Anyone understand that poem?

20 Dec 2003, 18:29	#7
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	Thanks to Big Momma :P and of coure every one else I have built up the courage to ask him. Tell U what he says!! Hugs Leeann

20 Dec 2003, 19:47	#8
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	OH NO!!! Got 2 nervous, now he doesnt understand the message. HELP!!!!!!

20 Dec 2003, 19:58	#9
Tim The Butcher Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands Posts: 10,321	No problemo.... I'm a guy... i was shy until i started with my school and became a teacher. Some tips: - just be yourself (yeah, easy, but still, it is a trick) - don't think you do things wrong, you do the things your way (and, if there is something going wrong totally, like falling in mud orso.... just say you had prepared that and that is a part of your act ) - be interested in a honest way - don't be cruel - say good and nice things (wow, i like your piercing or.... i like your coat very much, where did you buy it?) Oh crap.... this more for a first date.... excuse me... okay: - walk towards the person, start a talk - ask the person if he (she) has a plan for...... (.... call a date) - say that you want to do something fun and ask him/her if he/she wants to join you with that (if he/she says no.... don't bother, lots of other people, see it as a victory that helpes you for the future) - if he/she wants to join you, don't over react. Well, hopefully this helps a bit The Butcher.

20 Dec 2003, 20:01	#10
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	I'll try.

20 Dec 2003, 20:05	#11
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	He said he'll fone when he gets home. How do i explain to him over the fone??

20 Dec 2003, 20:10	#12
Tim The Butcher Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands Posts: 10,321	simple.... try it first into the mirror, sounds stupid, has helped me a couple of times. Call him up, or if he calls you, just pick up the phone. Don't be nervous. He calles or you will call him so.... nothing to worry about. Start a talk... like you are talking to girlfriends. A conversation will start. Well, now the door is open. Just ask him if he wants to do something with you, or that he would like to go out with you (to a bar, movie, etc). If he says he don't know yet... no problem... try later again in the conversation. If he says no.... don't be bothered or react shocked... just talk further and go on. If you close the call... then there is time for a breakdown. If he says yes......... YOU ARE IN!!!! Wish you all the luck!!! I will be thinking of you, please let us know how things worked out. The Butcher.

20 Dec 2003, 20:28	#13
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	O.k folks. Story sofar... Got in touch with him using txt. asked: If i ever asked would u go out with me? Reply: Yeah babes, I would. Why? Asked: would u plz? Reply: Give me time 2 think. So looks like the nerves are gonna have to stay put for now. I'll just have to wait. Should i?? hugs leeann

20 Dec 2003, 22:05	#14
Tim The Butcher Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands Posts: 10,321	Thanks for the update!!! Very cool that you did it!! Now you can only wait.

26 Dec 2003, 17:46	#15
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	UPDATE!!! Looks like I waited too long.. he asked for time to think and so i gave him some time but he got back with his ex. who stays 20miles away on monday as i found out today. Never mind.. he had a similar incident when he asked me to go on a night out but i couldnt go. Turns out he was still with the girl when he asked but would have halted it if i had gone Plenty more out there I hope!!! Karin is angry at him though. his loss not mine. Did u all have a nice christmas?? hugs leeann

26 Dec 2003, 18:05	#16
CarolM Mega Loafer Join Date: 15.06.2003 Location: Near The End Of The Line Posts: 1,498	Personally i wouldnt do all the running Leeann, but now he knows , maybe when or if they split up, he knows now so let him do the running next time hun. Hope this helps. as you say plenty more fish in the sea definatley his loss .Now its your turn Leeann treat them mean keep them keen. After all he was mean to you.

26 Dec 2003, 18:13	#17
Bigmomma Super Loafer Join Date: 07.07.2003 Location: Somewhere in time in my mind......... Posts: 655	if he is making a habit out of it maybe try and find someone who is more reliable and who doesn't go straight back to an ex? i would feel sorry for his girlfriend as he sounds a bit like a player.... kezzina just been informed by my daughter the correct term is twotimer/user...

26 Dec 2003, 18:23	#18
The Flying Mouse Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half. Join Date: 06.08.2002 Location: In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line. Posts: 16,104	Don't worry about him Leeann. He might be a nice guy, but it sounds like he changes his mind more often than his underwear. Which means he's either very fickle, or has very dodgy personal hygene Just give it time and you'll find the right person.Usually when your least expecting it. You'll also notice that you spend ages single, then when you finally do meet someone you get offers left right and centre

26 Dec 2003, 22:17	#19
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	Thanks guys!!!!

27 Dec 2003, 03:43	#20
CarolM Mega Loafer Join Date: 15.06.2003 Location: Near The End Of The Line Posts: 1,498	Your welcome hun.

09 Jan 2004, 22:10	#21
Fallen Angel Youth Gone Wild Join Date: 19.09.2003 Location: See the mad one over there.... Posts: 693	OH NO!!! Says hes split up with ex and wants out wif me what do i do??

10 Jan 2004, 00:00	#22
shadow1000001 Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.07.2003 Location: Red Deer, Alberta, Canada Posts: 2,580	Just remember, He's obviously an ex for a reason and keep remembering that reason

10 Jan 2004, 01:47	#23
scotty Mega Loafer Join Date: 25.11.2003 Location: Harlow Essex Posts: 1,166	Get him drunk and take full advantage of the situation!! He might be a complete muppet when you finally get him one on one. Have fun finding out anyway xx