20 Jan 2006, 21:37
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#1 |
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Armed ba$tard and Jo's other half.
 Join Date: 06.08.2002
Location:
 In the middle of nowhere near the end of the line.
Posts: 16,104
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Of course the real question..........
 Is how they got on the show in the first place   UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name? Contestant: Goosey, Goosey? THE WEAKEST LINK Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet? Contestant: Jool carriageway. Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius? Contestant: Bombay. Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes? Contestant: Crocodiles. Anne Robinson: Wh...? Contestant (interrupting): Pass! Anne Robinson: In olden times,! what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen? Contestant: Chocolate salesmen. Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...? Contestant: (long pause) Joe? Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral? Contestant: Geronimo! NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.? Contestant: William Shakespeare. FAMILY FORTUNES 1) Something a blind man might use? - A Sword 2) A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon 3) Name the capital of France? - F 4) Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell 5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar 6) Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital 7) What is ~~~~~~'s first name? - Heil  A famous Scotsman? - Jock9) Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde. 10) A dangerous race? - The Arabs 11) Something that floats in a bath? - Water 12) An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse 13) Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair 14) A famous Royal? - Mail 15) Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world? Contestant: Barcelona. Presenter: I was really after the name of a country. Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain. STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2 Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube? Contestant: India. Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway? Contestant: Espresso. Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney. Contestant: Sydney. THIS MORNING Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false? Contestant: True? Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that. BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last? Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days. BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons? Contestant: Four BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible? Contestant: Er... Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor... Contestant: Blimey? Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run... Contestant: (Silence) Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I ru! n, yesterday I... Contestant: Walked? DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels? Contestant: Holland? Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet. Contestant: Iceland? Ireland? Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel? Contestant: No. |
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20 Jan 2006, 21:41
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#2 |
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Astrophysicist At Large
Join Date: 19.04.2003
Location: Beneath his dreaming tree
Posts: 4,284
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*points to new signature*
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20 Jan 2006, 21:44
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#3 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location:
 Somewhere in the real world.
Posts: 7,527
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You forgot the all time classic Family fortunes one:
Les Dennis: We asked a hundred people to name something blue? Little old lady: My cardigan. |
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20 Jan 2006, 21:52
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#4 | |
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You dig.
Join Date: 02.04.2002
Location:
 On the fothermucker
Posts: 7,179
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21 Jan 2006, 23:05
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#5 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 15.06.2005
Location:
Posts: 3,596
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[QUOTE=THE FLYING MOUSE3) Name the capital of France? - F
Or according to celebrity BB Maggott: What's the capital of France Chantelle: Brussels! No! Belgium! Chantelle:Are you from Wales? Maggot:Yes Chantelle: Whereabouts? Edinburgh? 
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22 Jan 2006, 01:06
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#6 | |
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I hope your salmon sucks!
Join Date: 18.01.2004
Location:
 Northamptonshire
Posts: 7,077
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