22 Feb 2006, 14:36
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Relentless
 Join Date: 21.11.2003
Location:
 Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side
Posts: 18,694
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I'll get my coat ...
Last Saturday night; a young chap was walking home from a club. It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most of the street lights in the area were broken, and the silence was only broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a dustbin. Then suddenly he heard a strange noise.......
BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ Startled by this, he turned, and to his amazement, through the driving rain, he saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He froze to the spot, he couldn't believe his eyes, as the box approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more clearly....It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put his head down and started walking briskly home. BUMP........ BUMP........ BUMP........ He could feel the coffin gaining on him, he started walking faster......... BUMP........BUMP...... BUMP........BUMP..... BUMP........BUMP...... The coffin was closing with his every step, he started to jog, but he heard the coffin speed up after him...... BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... BUMP........BUMP......BUMP...... He started to sprint, but so did the coffin. BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP. BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..... BUMP...BUMP...BUMP...BUMP. Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock, he dived inside slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and slumped into his comfy chair. Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through the front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued its chase..... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could take him he bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door........ BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... BUMP...SCREECH...HOP...BUMP...SCREECH...HOP... The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the bathroom door flew off its hinges.... The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young terrified lad. BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom cabinet...... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at the coffin.......still it came. BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ..... Still it came...... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it .still it came...... BUMP...SCREECH...BUMP...SCREECH... He grabbed some Beneylin cough mixture and threw it........ The coffin stopped. |
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22 Feb 2006, 19:32
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#2 |
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mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots
Join Date: 13.07.2005
Location:
 Hitting the highway like a battering ram...
Posts: 7,686
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Groan.....
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22 Feb 2006, 19:39
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#3 |
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The Monster Is Luce
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location:
Posts: 7,547
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And after all the abuse you've given me today, Andy! Oh dear oh dear!
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22 Feb 2006, 19:50
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#4 |
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You dig.
Join Date: 02.04.2002
Location:
 On the fothermucker
Posts: 7,179
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22 Feb 2006, 20:32
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#5 |
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Super Loafer
 Join Date: 09.07.2003
Location:
 Canada
Posts: 996
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Sad... LOL
 J. |
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22 Feb 2006, 20:49
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#6 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 19.03.2003
Location:
Kent, England
Posts: 4,163
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oh dear!! is there a doctor in the house for andy?
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22 Feb 2006, 23:00
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#7 |
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Relentless
Join Date: 21.11.2003
Location:
Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side
Posts: 18,694
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well I laughed
... then again I have been stressed today - isn't that right Diane? Chris? R? |
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22 Feb 2006, 23:19
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#8 |
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The Monster Is Luce
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location:
Posts: 7,547
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Aww I hope it's not because you had to deal with the nightmare that was my PM's! lol
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22 Feb 2006, 23:24
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#9 | |
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You dig.
Join Date: 02.04.2002
Location:
On the fothermucker
Posts: 7,179
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Quote:
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22 Feb 2006, 23:25
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#10 |
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The Monster Is Luce
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location:
Posts: 7,547
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Aww I know that was you honey!!
I was having the most blonde nightmare ever last night which I managed to sort but I confused the hell out of poor Andy in the process! |
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22 Feb 2006, 23:25
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#11 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 18.06.2003
Location:
At The End Of The Line
Posts: 2,651
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Lol!
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22 Feb 2006, 23:27
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#12 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 26.11.2005
Location:
Posts: 1,530
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the compulsion you must have been experiencing to write that........please, please, PLEEEEEEASE, make it stop!
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22 Feb 2006, 23:34
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#13 | |
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You dig.
Join Date: 02.04.2002
Location:
On the fothermucker
Posts: 7,179
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23 Feb 2006, 00:03
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#14 | |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location:
Somewhere in the real world.
Posts: 7,527
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23 Feb 2006, 00:04
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#15 | |
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You dig.
Join Date: 02.04.2002
Location:
On the fothermucker
Posts: 7,179
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23 Feb 2006, 00:12
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#16 |
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Mega Loafer
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location:
Somewhere in the real world.
Posts: 7,527
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Welll it blew up!!
Given my approach to DIY is to hit it with a hammer until it works., the repairs could be quite spectacular. |
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23 Feb 2006, 00:23
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#17 | |
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You dig.
Join Date: 02.04.2002
Location:
On the fothermucker
Posts: 7,179
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23 Feb 2006, 10:50
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#18 |
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Relentless
Join Date: 21.11.2003
Location:
Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side
Posts: 18,694
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OK, so you've all groaned ... but (and be honest now) how many of you have forwarded this on to other friends?
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