Dottie

Chris · 28 Mar 2006, 21:06

Dottie,

I was going to do this by PM but your inbox is full and obviously I can;t ring in case hubby is there. Then i realised that i don;t need to hide away, what i have to saym, i am willing to say publicly.

Firstly i want to thank you for being there for me and being such a fantastic person. I thought I liked you as a best mate but this weekend changed all that.

After going away with you and you alone I have come to realise that I have feelings for you. And i think you have feelings for me. We have both been through the fires of hell and have the ashes to prove it but I am willing to risk it all for you.

However, I cannot carry on like we are doing. Behind his back and conducting everything in a cloak and dagger fashion. So i have to do this. If you truely meant what you said this weekend as I know i meant what i said from the bottom of my heart, then please take that step into the unknown. Leave him and come to me. I can only continue this if you will be open and publicly admit your feelings for me and come away with me. I have a life and job as you do but I would walk away from it all like that if you asked me so please do the same for me.

Love
Chris.

I was gonna end with a quote from paradise about What's it gonna be, yes or no, but that would be too cliched when i mean this from my heart.

dottie · 28 Mar 2006, 22:17

Let me sleep on it, baby, baby let me sleep on it........

Chris · 28 Mar 2006, 22:21

Take all the time you need but bear in mind I am being deadly serious.

I mean every word and I really want you to be mine and mine alone. Not stolen weekends when we can get an alibi or frantic phone calls when he is out but together properly.

R. · 28 Mar 2006, 22:29

dottie · 28 Mar 2006, 22:32

Is the grass greener on the other side?

My heart says yes, but my brain says no...........

Isn't there someone out there who can help me decide...

I would love this man in my life... but so scared in taking the plunge..

Heli · 29 Mar 2006, 00:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by R.

Second....

Benny · 29 Mar 2006, 01:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by R.

dottie · 29 Mar 2006, 01:27

Do you throw it all away? Or do you follow your heart?

L96 · 29 Mar 2006, 09:34

Our household has 2 votes in favour, 1 vote against. The cats abstained.

Gez · 29 Mar 2006, 10:42

you know he's not good 4 u Dottums........dont marry him, have me

Ageing Bat · 29 Mar 2006, 10:46

OK, bearing my soul and revealing my murky past here......

When I was 25, I had two children aged 2 and 5, had been married for 7 years. We'd had good times, and not so good times. We didn't have blazing rows, but we didn't really talk, or share things together. My marriage was stagnant. One evening the doorbell rang, and there on the step stood a man in his late 40's, slim, thinning on top but from somewhere a thunderbolt shot my heart. I couldn't breathe, let alone speak...... it was Paul. He'd come to see my husband to arrange a trip out in our fishing boat. In time, he and my husband became friends, and would often pop round for a chat. For a long time, I was prepared to accept that all we would ever be was friends, but my tummy had butterflies every time I saw Paul. He was always the perfect gentleman. I couldn't help how I felt about him, to the point that one afternoon we got talking and I took a chance - I told him how I felt about him, and was delighted to hear that he felt the same.

And so started our 9 month affair. We were incredibly discrete - even my best friend didn't suspect anything. Paul never pushed me to make a decision...... I agonised over what to do for hour after hour, day after day. I had two very young children to consider, did I tear them away from the comfort of their home, their father, just to satisfy my needs, or spend the rest of my life with a man who I now realised I really didn't love, just for security? The decision was forced upon me when someone sent my husband an anonomous letter one easter weekend..... the whole situation came to a head ........ and so I left him. Driving away from my home with the children sobbing in the back of the car, with just a few bags of clothes was the hardest thing I have ever done. It wasn't just me leaping into the unknown - I had my two children I was pulling with me.

It hasn't been easy....... we've sometimes had more than our fair share of acrimony to deal with. But we've got through every bit of crap that's been flung our way because we did it together. If what I feel for Paul is love, and I know it is, then I now realise that I never loved my first husband. He supports me in everything I do, and has helped me achieve so much. With him, I feel alive and whole. OK, so there's 20 years between us, but it's only a number - we don't have a problem with it...... this summer we'll be celebrating 10 years of marriage.

Chris and Dottie - you are both facing many difficult life decisions. Only you two can make those decisions..... together. Chris - be patient....... you have to let Dottie deal with this in her own way, in her own time.

We only have one life, full of chances, littered with unknowns. I'm glad I took that chance and lept into the unknown.

dottie · 29 Mar 2006, 11:08

I'm between the Devil and the deep blue sea, I am in love with the Devil (Chris), but I am finding it so hard to make a decision based purely on love and nothing else......

What if I make a mistake and throw away my marriage

, what if Chris is the one for me after all?

At 56 years years of age you would think I have the knowledge and experience of life to make this decision promptly, but no!!

Please anyone out there help me!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Ageing Bat your love story has helped me to see another angle on this problem

Heli · 29 Mar 2006, 11:18

You guys can't be serious.....surely?!!

ROSIE · 29 Mar 2006, 11:21

Dottie I don't know what to say to you, I want you to be happy but I have stayed at your house, I know your husband well.
But I am a true friend and will stand by you whatever you decide to do, you know where I am to talk to.

Rosie

Chris · 29 Mar 2006, 11:32

I know what I want your answer to be but i am just going to have sit quietly and wait....

Quote:

Whatever it takes
or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

dottie · 29 Mar 2006, 11:54

I was nothing but a lonely girl........
looking for something new.....
And you were nothing but a lonely boy...
But you are something.....
Something like a dream come true.

For Crying out Loud you know I love you Chris....

I can laugh and cry with you Chris, and MAYBE I'll never know how high I could be flying, Ah, with you right beside me......

L96 · 29 Mar 2006, 12:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by dottie

I'm between the Devil and the deep blue sea, I am in love with the Devil (Chris), but I am finding it so hard to make a decision based purely on love and nothing else......

Please anyone out there help me!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Ageing Bat your love story has helped me to see another angle on this problem

I have consulted my feline tribe to gain wisdom for you. Their responses are as follows.

Burgy: Go to wherever you will get the most and nicest food.

Checker: Choose the place with the most comfortable furniture, most chocolate, and most pizza....

Mac: Go to whoever is going to give you the most pats and attention.

Cynthia: Get your eyes off Chris, he's mine, all mine... (This cat is a headcase, and loves a Chris, so don't necessarily listen to her

)

Hope that helps.

Hypnobabe · 29 Mar 2006, 13:02

Like Sarah, I have a slightly murky past...

I was married at 19, to my first serious boyfriend. After about 4 years of being the chief cook, cleaner, bottle washer and everything else, I was not a happy bunny, and fate introduced me to Richard, who was seeing one of my ex-'s mates... Within a month, I knew I loved him, and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but it was a huge leap from the safety and security of marriage (even though it was by no means a happy one) to the unknown of a relationship with a man I hardly knew, who is nearly 20 years older than me.

It came to a head for me when Richard went abroad on business and having said it would be nice if he came home and I was there, gave me the key to his house. My ex- and I had gone to visit friends for the weekend, rowing all the time, and when we got back, he said "I've had enough of this, pack your things and get out!" It was the push I'd been waiting for, and I did just that... moved into Richard's house while he was 6000 miles away, and spent a week by myself. That was when I realised I didn't miss my husband AT ALL, and I've never looked back since. We've now been together for 9 years, married for 6, and have two beautiful children together. We've been through some ups and downs, but as Sarah says, we've worked through them together because we truly love each other.

Dottie, my advice is follow your heart... but use your head - make sure you have security JUST IN CASE it doesn't work out the way you hope it will - and good luck x

Chris · 29 Mar 2006, 14:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heli

You guys can't be serious.....surely?!!

I have never been more serious in my life.

DIZZY DRUMMER · 29 Mar 2006, 15:56

Guys - do what is best for you both.
Although it seems Dottie has more to lose than Chris.
Chris if you are deadly serious about his relationship give Dottie time to work it all out for herself. You know that if you hurt Dottie you would have a forum of people after you

BUT I don't believe you will.

I do admire your strength of commitment shown - actually posting your feelings for each other. Like people have said - you only get one life - grab happiness with both hands.

Dottie are you happy at home?
Would Chris offer you more than just love?
Can he provide for you?
Would he make you happier than you are now?
What would your kids say?

Chris - is this just a fling on you part?
Not being funny - but what about the age difference? (Yes Sarah I know

) but had to ask.

You both don't need to answer these questions in public.

You two are very special people - think long & hard before you do anything rash.

Whatever you decide - GOOD LUCK

Benny · 29 Mar 2006, 17:00

Best wishes to you both

dottie · 29 Mar 2006, 18:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Heli

You guys can't be serious.....surely?!!

Never more sure of anything in my life..........

dottie · 29 Mar 2006, 18:57

But I am a true friend and will stand by you whatever you decide to do, you know where I am to talk to.

Thank you Rosie will be in touch very soon.......

dottie · 29 Mar 2006, 19:06

I do admire your strength of commitment shown - actually posting your feelings for each other. Like people have said - you only get one life - grab happiness with both hands.

Dottie are you happy at home?

I thought I was - until...........
Would he make you happier than you are now?

Yes I have never been so happy, feel as if I have been living under a cloud for so long....

What would your kids say?

That subject I haven't broached yet!! But at 23 years and 30 years respectively I would hope they would try to see both sides of the coin to to speak......

Not being funny - but what about the age difference? (Yes Sarah I know

) but had to ask.

Chris and I have an affinity that surpasses all age difference....

DIZZY DRUMMER · 29 Mar 2006, 19:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by dottie

I do admire your strength of commitment shown - actually posting your feelings for each other. Like people have said - you only get one life - grab happiness with both hands.

Dottie are you happy at home?

I thought I was - until...........
Would he make you happier than you are now?

Yes I have never been so happy, feel as if I have been living under a cloud for so long....

What would your kids say?

That subject I haven't broached yet!! But at 23 years and 30 years respectively I would hope they would try to see both sides of the coin to to speak......

Not being funny - but what about the age difference? (Yes Sarah I know

) but had to ask.

Chris and I have an affinity that surpasses all age difference....

Then Dottie - the best of luck & love to you both - you know where I am if you need me - that goes for you too Chris

28 Mar 2006, 21:06	#1
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Dottie.../ Chris... Dottie, I was going to do this by PM but your inbox is full and obviously I can;t ring in case hubby is there. Then i realised that i don;t need to hide away, what i have to saym, i am willing to say publicly. Firstly i want to thank you for being there for me and being such a fantastic person. I thought I liked you as a best mate but this weekend changed all that. After going away with you and you alone I have come to realise that I have feelings for you. And i think you have feelings for me. We have both been through the fires of hell and have the ashes to prove it but I am willing to risk it all for you. However, I cannot carry on like we are doing. Behind his back and conducting everything in a cloak and dagger fashion. So i have to do this. If you truely meant what you said this weekend as I know i meant what i said from the bottom of my heart, then please take that step into the unknown. Leave him and come to me. I can only continue this if you will be open and publicly admit your feelings for me and come away with me. I have a life and job as you do but I would walk away from it all like that if you asked me so please do the same for me. Love Chris. I was gonna end with a quote from paradise about What's it gonna be, yes or no, but that would be too cliched when i mean this from my heart. Last edited by Chris; 01 Apr 2006 at 14:38.

28 Mar 2006, 22:17	#2
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	Let me sleep on it, baby, baby let me sleep on it........

28 Mar 2006, 22:21	#3
Chris Mega Loafer Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Somewhere in the real world. Posts: 7,527	Take all the time you need but bear in mind I am being deadly serious. I mean every word and I really want you to be mine and mine alone. Not stolen weekends when we can get an alibi or frantic phone calls when he is out but together properly.

28 Mar 2006, 22:29	#4
R. You dig. Join Date: 02.04.2002 Location: On the fothermucker Posts: 7,179

28 Mar 2006, 22:32	#5
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	Is the grass greener on the other side? My heart says yes, but my brain says no........... Isn't there someone out there who can help me decide... I would love this man in my life... but so scared in taking the plunge..

29 Mar 2006, 01:27	#8
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	Do you throw it all away? Or do you follow your heart?

29 Mar 2006, 09:34	#9
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	Our household has 2 votes in favour, 1 vote against. The cats abstained.

29 Mar 2006, 10:42	#10
Gez Knicker thief Join Date: 17.04.2003 Location: auch...not on the fence Posts: 5,633	you know he's not good 4 u Dottums........dont marry him, have me

29 Mar 2006, 10:46	#11
Ageing Bat Young at heart. Slightly older in other places. Join Date: 20.11.2003 Location: Here! Posts: 1,311	OK, bearing my soul and revealing my murky past here...... When I was 25, I had two children aged 2 and 5, had been married for 7 years. We'd had good times, and not so good times. We didn't have blazing rows, but we didn't really talk, or share things together. My marriage was stagnant. One evening the doorbell rang, and there on the step stood a man in his late 40's, slim, thinning on top but from somewhere a thunderbolt shot my heart. I couldn't breathe, let alone speak...... it was Paul. He'd come to see my husband to arrange a trip out in our fishing boat. In time, he and my husband became friends, and would often pop round for a chat. For a long time, I was prepared to accept that all we would ever be was friends, but my tummy had butterflies every time I saw Paul. He was always the perfect gentleman. I couldn't help how I felt about him, to the point that one afternoon we got talking and I took a chance - I told him how I felt about him, and was delighted to hear that he felt the same. And so started our 9 month affair. We were incredibly discrete - even my best friend didn't suspect anything. Paul never pushed me to make a decision...... I agonised over what to do for hour after hour, day after day. I had two very young children to consider, did I tear them away from the comfort of their home, their father, just to satisfy my needs, or spend the rest of my life with a man who I now realised I really didn't love, just for security? The decision was forced upon me when someone sent my husband an anonomous letter one easter weekend..... the whole situation came to a head ........ and so I left him. Driving away from my home with the children sobbing in the back of the car, with just a few bags of clothes was the hardest thing I have ever done. It wasn't just me leaping into the unknown - I had my two children I was pulling with me. It hasn't been easy....... we've sometimes had more than our fair share of acrimony to deal with. But we've got through every bit of crap that's been flung our way because we did it together. If what I feel for Paul is love, and I know it is, then I now realise that I never loved my first husband. He supports me in everything I do, and has helped me achieve so much. With him, I feel alive and whole. OK, so there's 20 years between us, but it's only a number - we don't have a problem with it...... this summer we'll be celebrating 10 years of marriage. Chris and Dottie - you are both facing many difficult life decisions. Only you two can make those decisions..... together. Chris - be patient....... you have to let Dottie deal with this in her own way, in her own time. We only have one life, full of chances, littered with unknowns. I'm glad I took that chance and lept into the unknown.

29 Mar 2006, 11:08	#12
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	I'm between the Devil and the deep blue sea, I am in love with the Devil (Chris), but I am finding it so hard to make a decision based purely on love and nothing else...... What if I make a mistake and throw away my marriage , what if Chris is the one for me after all? At 56 years years of age you would think I have the knowledge and experience of life to make this decision promptly, but no!! Please anyone out there help me!!!!!!!!! Thank you Ageing Bat your love story has helped me to see another angle on this problem

29 Mar 2006, 11:18	#13
Heli Daddy's little internet junkie Join Date: 29.01.2004 Location: Grimsby Posts: 4,596	You guys can't be serious.....surely?!!

29 Mar 2006, 11:21	#14
ROSIE Invisible again! Join Date: 30.06.2003 Location: Suffolk Posts: 1,240	Dottie I don't know what to say to you, I want you to be happy but I have stayed at your house, I know your husband well. But I am a true friend and will stand by you whatever you decide to do, you know where I am to talk to. Rosie

29 Mar 2006, 11:54	#16
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	I was nothing but a lonely girl........ looking for something new..... And you were nothing but a lonely boy... But you are something..... Something like a dream come true. For Crying out Loud you know I love you Chris.... I can laugh and cry with you Chris, and MAYBE I'll never know how high I could be flying, Ah, with you right beside me......

29 Mar 2006, 13:02	#18
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Like Sarah, I have a slightly murky past... I was married at 19, to my first serious boyfriend. After about 4 years of being the chief cook, cleaner, bottle washer and everything else, I was not a happy bunny, and fate introduced me to Richard, who was seeing one of my ex-'s mates... Within a month, I knew I loved him, and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but it was a huge leap from the safety and security of marriage (even though it was by no means a happy one) to the unknown of a relationship with a man I hardly knew, who is nearly 20 years older than me. It came to a head for me when Richard went abroad on business and having said it would be nice if he came home and I was there, gave me the key to his house. My ex- and I had gone to visit friends for the weekend, rowing all the time, and when we got back, he said "I've had enough of this, pack your things and get out!" It was the push I'd been waiting for, and I did just that... moved into Richard's house while he was 6000 miles away, and spent a week by myself. That was when I realised I didn't miss my husband AT ALL, and I've never looked back since. We've now been together for 9 years, married for 6, and have two beautiful children together. We've been through some ups and downs, but as Sarah says, we've worked through them together because we truly love each other. Dottie, my advice is follow your heart... but use your head - make sure you have security JUST IN CASE it doesn't work out the way you hope it will - and good luck x

29 Mar 2006, 15:56	#20
DIZZY DRUMMER Always Ready For A Bang Join Date: 30.11.2003 Location: Left In The Dark .......... AGAIN Posts: 6,389	Guys - do what is best for you both. Although it seems Dottie has more to lose than Chris. Chris if you are deadly serious about his relationship give Dottie time to work it all out for herself. You know that if you hurt Dottie you would have a forum of people after you BUT I don't believe you will. I do admire your strength of commitment shown - actually posting your feelings for each other. Like people have said - you only get one life - grab happiness with both hands. Dottie are you happy at home? Would Chris offer you more than just love? Can he provide for you? Would he make you happier than you are now? What would your kids say? Chris - is this just a fling on you part? Not being funny - but what about the age difference? (Yes Sarah I know ) but had to ask. You both don't need to answer these questions in public. You two are very special people - think long & hard before you do anything rash. Whatever you decide - GOOD LUCK

29 Mar 2006, 17:00	#21
Benny Massive Loafer Join Date: 07.09.2005 Location: Posts: 3,084	Best wishes to you both

29 Mar 2006, 18:57	#23
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	But I am a true friend and will stand by you whatever you decide to do, you know where I am to talk to. Thank you Rosie will be in touch very soon.......

29 Mar 2006, 19:06	#24
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	I do admire your strength of commitment shown - actually posting your feelings for each other. Like people have said - you only get one life - grab happiness with both hands. Dottie are you happy at home? I thought I was - until........... Would he make you happier than you are now? Yes I have never been so happy, feel as if I have been living under a cloud for so long.... What would your kids say? That subject I haven't broached yet!! But at 23 years and 30 years respectively I would hope they would try to see both sides of the coin to to speak...... Not being funny - but what about the age difference? (Yes Sarah I know ) but had to ask. Chris and I have an affinity that surpasses all age difference....