Peter Kay isms

Lord Kagan · 09 Dec 2006, 21:30

1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
12. What do people in China call their good plates?
13. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
17. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

samurai7 · 10 Dec 2006, 19:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lord Kagan

11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

This just reminds me of what Monstro said at the Montana back in October -

Something about who first saw a hen shite out an egg and thought: "Hmmm, I think I'll eat that!"

LucyK! · 10 Dec 2006, 19:54

Brilliant!

**Monstro** · 10 Dec 2006, 19:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by Son Of Meat Loaf

This just reminds me of what Monstro said at the Montana back in October -

Something about who first saw a hen shite out an egg and thought: "Hmmm, I think I'll eat that!"

Good memory!!!!!

LucyK! · 10 Dec 2006, 20:06

A very good point actually, I shall think twice before eating eggs in future!!

*AndyK* · 10 Dec 2006, 20:12

Hmmm don't they teach biology in schools anymore?

LucyK! · 10 Dec 2006, 20:13

Not about hens, chickens and roosters they don't

**Monstro** · 10 Dec 2006, 20:16

And speaking personally, if something was passing something the size of it's head I wouldn't want to get up close and personal for a look if you know what I mean LOL

LucyK! · 10 Dec 2006, 20:18

I love your Northern thinking!

**Monstro** · 10 Dec 2006, 20:26

It's a bit close to the mark at times though LOL

samurai7 · 10 Dec 2006, 22:00

okay, I used the verb "shite" as I thought it was slightly less offensive than saying "a hen's period", which is technically what an egg is (if it's unfertilised.)

Now if THAT doesn't put you off eggs... lol...

(Actually I love eggs.)

MeatGrl1 · 10 Dec 2006, 22:33

!!!!

**Monstro** · 10 Dec 2006, 22:34

I was polite at the Montana, think I said "Passing" lol

09 Dec 2006, 21:30	#1
Lord Kagan On the other hand, You have different fingers Join Date: 17.05.2006 Location: Belfast Posts: 8,833	Peter Kay isms 1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? 2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? 3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? 4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse? 5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'? 6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 7. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 8. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? 9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 10. Is French kissing in France just called kissing? 11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? 12. What do people in China call their good plates? 13. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? 14. What do you call male ballerinas? 15. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? 16. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 17. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 18. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? 19. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? 20. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the window?

10 Dec 2006, 19:54	#3
LucyK! The Monster Is Luce Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Posts: 7,547	Brilliant!

10 Dec 2006, 20:06	#5
LucyK! The Monster Is Luce Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Posts: 7,547	A very good point actually, I shall think twice before eating eggs in future!!

10 Dec 2006, 20:12	#6
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	Hmmm don't they teach biology in schools anymore?

10 Dec 2006, 20:13	#7
LucyK! The Monster Is Luce Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Posts: 7,547	Not about hens, chickens and roosters they don't

10 Dec 2006, 20:16	#8
Monstro Promoted to Wario's spellchecker Join Date: 17.09.2005 Location: London Posts: 12,947	And speaking personally, if something was passing something the size of it's head I wouldn't want to get up close and personal for a look if you know what I mean LOL

10 Dec 2006, 20:18	#9
LucyK! The Monster Is Luce Join Date: 14.04.2002 Location: Posts: 7,547	I love your Northern thinking!

10 Dec 2006, 20:26	#10
Monstro Promoted to Wario's spellchecker Join Date: 17.09.2005 Location: London Posts: 12,947	It's a bit close to the mark at times though LOL

10 Dec 2006, 22:00	#11
samurai7 Rock Star Join Date: 09.05.2005 Location: The future... Posts: 2,928	okay, I used the verb "shite" as I thought it was slightly less offensive than saying "a hen's period", which is technically what an egg is (if it's unfertilised.) Now if THAT doesn't put you off eggs... lol... (Actually I love eggs.)

10 Dec 2006, 22:33	#12
MeatGrl1 No Day But Today Join Date: 29.05.2006 Location: Sitting on the steps outside looking so restless and reckless and lost! Posts: 9,089	!!!!

10 Dec 2006, 22:34	#13
Monstro Promoted to Wario's spellchecker Join Date: 17.09.2005 Location: London Posts: 12,947	I was polite at the Montana, think I said "Passing" lol