25 Jan 2007, 12:14 | #1 |
"Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway"
Join Date: 29.11.2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 5,351
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Some new words for 2007
BLAMESTORMING . Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
SEAGULL MANAGER. A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves. ASSMOSIS.The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard. SALMON DAY. The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die. TESTICULATING. Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks. CUBEFARM . An office filled with cubicles. PRAIRIEDOGGING. When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause for a promotion because there may be cake.) SITCOMs. Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business". SINBAD. Single working girls. Single income, no boyfriend and desperate. STRESSPUPPY. A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny. PERCUSSIVEMAINTENANCE. The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again. ADMINISPHERE. The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" - needless paperwork and processes. 404. Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located. OHNOSECOND. That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all') GOING FOR A McPOO. Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is known as a McPOO with Lies. AEROPLANE BLONDE. One who has bleached/dyed her hair but still has a 'black box'. AUSSIE KISS. Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under. BEER COAT. The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3am . BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from. GREYHOUND. A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. MILLENNIUM DOMES. The contents of a Wonderbra, i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually naught in there worth seeing. MONKEY BATH . A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go:"Oo!Oo!Oo! Aa!Aa!Aa!". MYSTERY BUS. The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in. MYSTERY TAXI. The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead. PICASSO BUM. A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got four buttocks SWAMP-DONKEY A deeply unattractive person |
25 Jan 2007, 12:19 | #2 |
Promoted to Wario's spellchecker
Join Date: 17.09.2005
Location: London
Posts: 12,946
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[
BEER COMPASS. The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here, and where you've come from. I got one of them and I'm soooooo pleased with it!!!!!!! |
25 Jan 2007, 12:49 | #3 |
The Butcher
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands
Posts: 10,321
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for the dutchies:
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25 Jan 2007, 15:07 | #4 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 29.03.2006
Location: And you think you're down under???
Posts: 26,252
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Finally...you're up to posting your own jokes!!!
Think I am out of work... |
25 Jan 2007, 15:12 | #5 |
The Butcher
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands
Posts: 10,321
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huh??? posting my own jokes??? what do you mean he hhahahaha...
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25 Jan 2007, 16:37 | #6 |
"Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway"
Join Date: 29.11.2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 5,351
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25 Jan 2007, 16:37 | #7 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 29.03.2006
Location: And you think you're down under???
Posts: 26,252
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25 Jan 2007, 16:44 | #8 |
The Butcher
Join Date: 14.04.2002
Location: Westervoort, The Netherlands
Posts: 10,321
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25 Jan 2007, 16:46 | #9 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 29.03.2006
Location: And you think you're down under???
Posts: 26,252
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25 Jan 2007, 17:11 | #10 |
"Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway"
Join Date: 29.11.2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 5,351
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i'm usually both!
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25 Jan 2007, 17:12 | #11 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 29.03.2006
Location: And you think you're down under???
Posts: 26,252
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25 Jan 2007, 17:20 | #12 |
"Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway"
Join Date: 29.11.2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 5,351
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'You think i'm funny?...' Cue Joe Pesci Goodfellas scene!
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25 Jan 2007, 18:00 | #13 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 29.03.2006
Location: And you think you're down under???
Posts: 26,252
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25 Jan 2007, 18:58 | #14 |
The German
Join Date: 11.03.2006
Location: some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos...
Posts: 15,778
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didnt even know yet that 'booze cruise' was a word!
PS: Mike, is there any way to get on that ominous mailing list? |
25 Jan 2007, 19:10 | #15 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 15.06.2005
Location:
Posts: 3,596
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25 Jan 2007, 19:34 | #16 |
"Most things that i worry about, never happen anyway"
Join Date: 29.11.2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 5,351
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25 Jan 2007, 19:39 | #17 |
The German
Join Date: 11.03.2006
Location: some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos...
Posts: 15,778
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done
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25 Jan 2007, 23:33 | #18 |
Hello Harry!!!!
Join Date: 12.09.2006
Location: London
Posts: 3,086
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I love the McPoo with lies one!! But i thought prairie dogging was something else!!
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25 Jan 2007, 23:39 | #19 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 22.06.2006
Location: Blackpool
Posts: 2,232
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Love the SWAMP DONKEY
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25 Jan 2007, 23:42 | #20 |
Mega Loafer
Join Date: 29.03.2006
Location: And you think you're down under???
Posts: 26,252
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