Your Cat's New Year Resolutions ...

[shadow1000001]

I got this in my email and thought it was pretty funny. Too bad my cats have broken pretty much every one of them in the first week after New Years

1. My human will never let me eat their pet hamster, and I am at peace with that.

2. I will not slurp fish food fromt he surface of the aquarium.

3. I will not eat large numbers of assorted bugs, then come home and throw them up so the humans can see that I'm getting plenty of roughage.

4. I will not lean way over to drink out of the bathtub, fall in, and then pelt right for the box of clumping cat litter. It took FOREVER to get that stuff out of my fur!

5. I will not use the bathtub to store live mice for late night snacks.

6. We will not play "Herd of Thundering Wildebeasts Stampeding Across the Plains of the Serengeti" over any human's bed while they are trying to sleep.

7. I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

8. I willn ot assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

9. I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something there. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

10. If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

11. When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house.

12. It is not necessary to check every door.

13. I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to bring in groceries or else one of these days it will really come true.

14. When humans play darts, I will not leap into the air and attempt to catch them.

15. I will not swat at my human's head repeatedly when they are trying to do sit ups.

16. When my human is typing at the computer, their forearms are NOT a hammock.

17. Computer and tv screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

18. I will not puff my entire body to twice it's size for no reason after my human has watched a horror movie.

19. I will not drag dirty socks onto the bed and then yell at the top of my lungs so that my humans can admire my "kill"

20. I will not perch on my human's chest in the middle of the night and stare until they wake up.

21. I will not walk on the keyboard when my human is writing important adagfsg gdajag 'in.

[JanT]

[Lord Kagan]

[Bren]

sounds like my two cats

[Mick Loaf]

LOVE IT!