Alternative story thread... - Page 17

L96 · 22 May 2006, 13:31

thus Brian's inflatable sheep, which had shown up just in time for a spectacular catch attempt designed to get him into the english cricket team, was sorely disappointed, and bleated off to find his master....

Rockette · 22 May 2006, 13:32

in the nearby spud patch

L96 · 22 May 2006, 13:33

which was a shame, as Brian was in a far distant spud patch...meanwhile, back at the beach, Julie...

*AndyK* · 22 May 2006, 13:34

turned a page on her book

L96 · 22 May 2006, 13:37

which upset the book no end

*AndyK* · 22 May 2006, 13:39

still, Julie knew the book would get over it, after all it was only a cheap mills and boon type romance thing.

Rockette · 22 May 2006, 13:40

That Brian had no doubt written in his limited capacity

*AndyK* · 22 May 2006, 13:41

bath, it was limited capacity because although Brian thought it was a bath, it was really a misplaced bidet that he was sitting in when he wrote that book. He never noticed how cramped it was.

L96 · 22 May 2006, 13:43

Although he had wondered about the fountain function...

*AndyK* · 22 May 2006, 13:45

briefly, with a smile on his face.

Hypnobabe · 22 May 2006, 13:45

As Brian clutched the piece of paper in his sticky sweaty palm, he was hit by a sudden inspiration, and decided to travel neither to Moldovia nor Peterborough, but instead to the local Netto to see if he could get some jam remover and tidy up his fate and the meaning of life, which seemed to have morphed into one piece of paper. Unfortunately for Brian, the nearest Netto was

L96 · 22 May 2006, 13:45

elsewhere

*AndyK* · 22 May 2006, 13:48

and it was also closed.

Hypnobabe · 22 May 2006, 13:51

Brian carefully considered his options, and decided the safest bet was to try the local Waitrose instead. Unfortunately they had a rather strict dress code, being a bit of a snooty supermarket, and they wouldn't let Brian in, as he was now wearing

Rockette · 22 May 2006, 13:53

his casual pair of thongs

Hypnobabe · 22 May 2006, 13:56

on his feet, as he admired the Aussies somewhat, he was also wearing one in the more English sense of the word, which by rights should have been carefully concealed beneath a very long and thick pair of trousers where it would have been in no danger of being seen.

L96 · 22 May 2006, 14:01

so that makes three thongs for Brian, all rubber

*AndyK* · 22 May 2006, 15:27

wear had been banned by the government in 2006 ain a vain attempt to reduce the number of scandals being reported in the tabloid press. Because Brian didn't read such gutter jounralism (or in fact anything else) he was unaware of the fact that he was now illegally dressed.

Rockette · 23 May 2006, 10:58

He reminded himself that next time he should perhaps wear a pair of flip flops to stave off the blank stares of the lesser informed northern hemisphere neighbours.

Nonetheless, the sun was now slowly sinking in the west and he knew he

Leah · 23 May 2006, 11:42

get to get home before sunset otherwise he'd run the risk of turning into a pumpkin. Eversince watching cinderalla, and not having the brain capacity to differentiate fact from fiction, Brian was always scared to be out after dark incase that actually happened to him...so off he set....

L96 · 23 May 2006, 12:00

like a mouldy jelly, in the general direction of

*AndyK* · 23 May 2006, 14:12

the wrong way, directions and map reading weren't Brians strong points either.

dottie · 23 May 2006, 18:41

whereby he ended up at Mildenhall and an American pilot asked Brian could he give him a life in his Harrier Jump Jet to his destination....

Hypnobabe · 24 May 2006, 14:02

Unfortunately Brian misunderstood the question, and replied 'Don't be silly, I don't have a Harrier Jump Jet!' upon which reply the rather muscly American promptly thumped him on the nose, causing him to bleed profusely all over his

Rockette · 24 May 2006, 14:03

freshly cleaned jet.

22 May 2006, 13:31	#401
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	thus Brian's inflatable sheep, which had shown up just in time for a spectacular catch attempt designed to get him into the english cricket team, was sorely disappointed, and bleated off to find his master....

22 May 2006, 13:32	#402
Rockette Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.06.2005 Location: I think! Posts: 4,805	in the nearby spud patch

22 May 2006, 13:33	#403
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	which was a shame, as Brian was in a far distant spud patch...meanwhile, back at the beach, Julie...

22 May 2006, 13:34	#404
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	turned a page on her book

22 May 2006, 13:37	#405
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	which upset the book no end

22 May 2006, 13:39	#406
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	still, Julie knew the book would get over it, after all it was only a cheap mills and boon type romance thing.

22 May 2006, 13:40	#407
Rockette Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.06.2005 Location: I think! Posts: 4,805	That Brian had no doubt written in his limited capacity

22 May 2006, 13:41	#408
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	bath, it was limited capacity because although Brian thought it was a bath, it was really a misplaced bidet that he was sitting in when he wrote that book. He never noticed how cramped it was.

22 May 2006, 13:43	#409
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	Although he had wondered about the fountain function...

22 May 2006, 13:45	#410
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	briefly, with a smile on his face.

22 May 2006, 13:45	#411
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	As Brian clutched the piece of paper in his sticky sweaty palm, he was hit by a sudden inspiration, and decided to travel neither to Moldovia nor Peterborough, but instead to the local Netto to see if he could get some jam remover and tidy up his fate and the meaning of life, which seemed to have morphed into one piece of paper. Unfortunately for Brian, the nearest Netto was

22 May 2006, 13:45	#412
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	elsewhere

22 May 2006, 13:48	#413
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	and it was also closed.

22 May 2006, 13:51	#414
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Brian carefully considered his options, and decided the safest bet was to try the local Waitrose instead. Unfortunately they had a rather strict dress code, being a bit of a snooty supermarket, and they wouldn't let Brian in, as he was now wearing

22 May 2006, 13:53	#415
Rockette Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.06.2005 Location: I think! Posts: 4,805	his casual pair of thongs

22 May 2006, 13:56	#416
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	on his feet, as he admired the Aussies somewhat, he was also wearing one in the more English sense of the word, which by rights should have been carefully concealed beneath a very long and thick pair of trousers where it would have been in no danger of being seen.

22 May 2006, 14:01	#417
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	so that makes three thongs for Brian, all rubber

22 May 2006, 15:27	#418
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	wear had been banned by the government in 2006 ain a vain attempt to reduce the number of scandals being reported in the tabloid press. Because Brian didn't read such gutter jounralism (or in fact anything else) he was unaware of the fact that he was now illegally dressed.

23 May 2006, 10:58	#419
Rockette Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.06.2005 Location: I think! Posts: 4,805	He reminded himself that next time he should perhaps wear a pair of flip flops to stave off the blank stares of the lesser informed northern hemisphere neighbours. Nonetheless, the sun was now slowly sinking in the west and he knew he

23 May 2006, 11:42	#420
Leah Mega Loafer Join Date: 03.04.2005 Location: Cleethorpes, North East coast of England Posts: 1,510	get to get home before sunset otherwise he'd run the risk of turning into a pumpkin. Eversince watching cinderalla, and not having the brain capacity to differentiate fact from fiction, Brian was always scared to be out after dark incase that actually happened to him...so off he set....

23 May 2006, 12:00	#421
L96 Inaugural goldfish winner Join Date: 04.07.2005 Location: In a handbasket. Believe me, for someone my height, it's hell... Posts: 2,373	like a mouldy jelly, in the general direction of

23 May 2006, 14:12	#422
AndyK Relentless Join Date: 21.11.2003 Location: Over the top..... seeing what's on the other side Posts: 18,694	the wrong way, directions and map reading weren't Brians strong points either.

23 May 2006, 18:41	#423
dottie queen post- whore extraordinaire Join Date: 29.01.2003 Location: Still Rockin' at "72" Posts: 13,181	whereby he ended up at Mildenhall and an American pilot asked Brian could he give him a life in his Harrier Jump Jet to his destination....

24 May 2006, 14:02	#424
Hypnobabe mszee's Mistress with sexy goddess boots Join Date: 13.07.2005 Location: Hitting the highway like a battering ram... Posts: 7,686	Unfortunately Brian misunderstood the question, and replied 'Don't be silly, I don't have a Harrier Jump Jet!' upon which reply the rather muscly American promptly thumped him on the nose, causing him to bleed profusely all over his

24 May 2006, 14:03	#425
Rockette Mega Loafer Join Date: 10.06.2005 Location: I think! Posts: 4,805	freshly cleaned jet.