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Old 08 Aug 2006, 17:51   #676
AndyK
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was outside twittering with the birds and rustling with the wind.
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Old 08 Aug 2006, 17:58   #677
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The rustling he was doing was the kind involving stealing lots of cows and selling them for a profit. Unfortunately, the only cows in the vicinity were stuffed toy ones in the window of the local department store, or some on the cardboard packaging of his favourite lunchtime snack, Dairylea Dunkers.
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Old 08 Aug 2006, 18:01   #678
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Which he used to eat with the added gastronomic attraction of Marmite, spread thinly over the dunker before it was dunked into the dunkee dairylea.
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Old 10 Aug 2006, 19:39   #679
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Suddenly, a deep voice announced "'Ello 'ello 'ello, what's going on 'ere then?" and Brian's only option was
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Old 10 Aug 2006, 19:46   #680
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to grow a third hand, and?
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Old 10 Aug 2006, 20:24   #681
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try to distract the policeman so he wouldn't see that
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Old 11 Aug 2006, 11:19   #682
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he was eating Dairylea Dunkers and Marmie in a built up area.
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Old 11 Aug 2006, 13:10   #683
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However the police man had already spotted Brian eating his marmite and dairylee dunkers, brian should have known better knowing that there was a ban on eating this combination from 7am-11pm (It would often have a nasty effect on the locals hence the knocking out of an entire country) BUT the police man couldn't resist the sight and smell and bargained with Brian for his marmite and Dairylee dunkers...The bargain was...
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Old 12 Aug 2006, 18:21   #684
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that if he handed them over immediately and promised not to ask any awkward questions, the copper would refrain from arresting him and also give him a free
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Old 12 Aug 2006, 22:56   #685
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dip in his dunker Brian took this completely the wrong way and bolted for the nearest bus stop...
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Old 12 Aug 2006, 23:43   #686
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which was only 50 yards away with a bus waiting to go to the next city
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Old 13 Aug 2006, 17:44   #687
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The marmite-y smell had lingered on Brian's clothes, however, and as the bus-driver was one of those people who hate Marmite, he refused to let Brian board the bus until he'd
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Old 13 Aug 2006, 17:46   #688
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Gotten naked and rubbed a jar of tomato sause on himself...(ive gone mad)
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Old 13 Aug 2006, 17:49   #689
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Unfortunately for Brian, the copper was still standing watching him, and as soon as the first item of clothing came off, Brian was arrested for all sorts of crimes, including but not limited to
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 10:36   #690
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disrobing to reveal Bob The Builder boxer shorts in a built up area.
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 17:54   #691
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This charge carried a minimum sentance of
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 17:56   #692
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fourteen years basic spelling tests.
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 17:56   #693
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10 years for indecent exposure, and he didnt have a building permit so that added to
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 17:58   #694
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the list of charges. The list was now so long that the copper wasn't able to fit it all in his pocket, and instead
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 17:58   #695
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he rolled the list up and placed it inside his helmet.
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 18:19   #696
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Where it was met with a scalp full of dandrulff
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 18:28   #697
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as the copper in question had very poor standards of personal hygiene.
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 18:47   #698
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Alas at the last minute
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 19:06   #699
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the combination of dandruff and sweat from the copper's sweaty head caused the charge sheet to disintegrate, which made the copper extremely angry, and he started to shout
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Old 14 Aug 2006, 19:10   #700
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Abuse at the elderly lady passing by, then suddenly she turned to the copper and pulled out her...
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